5 Incredibly Dumb Horror Villains!!!

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There’s an old axiom that a horror movie is only as good as its villain. I’m not sure how true this is, since there are many films with so-so antagonists that I end up enjoying because the rest of their components are so strong. But having a great villain certainly can’t hurt, if anything it gives you an iconic signpost you can brand the film with for years to come.

But the movies I’m talking about today don’t have good villains. A few of them might have iconic masks that were once worn by a more worthy psychopath (see ghostface), but the person donning the disguise is now a total drip. Others never had a chance to start with.

Head inside for 5 Incredibly Dumb Horror Villains!!!

SCREAM 2 – Debbie Salt and Mickey

A pair of villains so dumb that their reveal marks the last moment we could take the Scream franchise seriously (that moment would be before Debbie enters the room with the gun). It’s bad enough that Laurie Metcalf looks so goofy with that gun, but then she dives into a hilarious monologue that includes meeting Timothy Olyphant’s Mickey in a “serial killer chat room.” Oh and she’s also the mother of Billy Loomis, a choice that steers Scream 2 from a continuing meta-commentary into the standard sequel ditch.

FRIDAY THE 13th: A NEW BEGINNING – Roy

I actually love this movie, it’s the sleaziest entry in the F13 franchise and I adore it for that. I can’t wait until the Blu-ray comes out next week. It’s got some great kills. But Roy, having seen his (seemingly abandoned son) murdered, just decides to become a Jason copycat killer? How does he inherit all of the standard Jason traits? The stalk and slash ability? The seeming invincibility? Not only is the leap of logic behind his motivation a leap over the abyss, it’s a decision that’s impossible for him to pull off.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4 – Katie

This is tough. I really like a few of the Paranormal Activity movies (especially PA3) and I think Katie Featherston is sort of the charming heart of the franchise. But you know what’s not scary? Seeing her run around snapping people’s necks. I hope the next 2 PA movies take a hard look at what worked in the 3rd installment and what failed in the 4th. I’d even go so far as to suggest that they treat this one as non-canon. An aside. A dream, even. Just don’t keep going down this path.

JAWS 4 – The Shark

We’re asked to believe that sharks continue to single out the Brody family. Then we’re asked to believe that a shark would follow Ellen Brody to Jamaica (implying that it’s conscious of her movements and is willing to go into uncharacteristically warm water to pursue her). Then we’re asked to believe that the shark can pretty much stand up in the water. And that it roars. And that it explodes when touched by a boat.

CREATURE – Lockjaw

A stupid origin with a bad design. Also? He can be killed easily off-camera. A villain only a bottom feeder could love.

 
  • Primeus

    Actually I found the reveal in scream 2 to be extremely funny. I am not a huge Scream fan anyway (I think all the movies are extremely overrated and substitute style for substances but that’s just my opinion) but I felt the reveal (while not on par with the first film) was satisfying, and as good as it could get for a sequel.

    The PA franchise died for me after the horrible fourth movie. It was obvious they had run out of ideas, and we are going to get the typical retread for a quick holiday money grab. I won’t be seeing the next film outside of cable.

    Regarding the New Beginning. I think you are a bit off base. He wasn’t unstoppable at all. He didn’t suffer many fatal wounds until the end, and all of the things that did happen to him were things you could believe someone wouldn’t die from.
    F13p5 is just way to white trash for my taste. It’s just sleezy and gross. I don’t enjoy the film not because it’s not “Jason” but because it’s Friday The 13th in a white trash, gutter universe.

    Jaws 4 might be the worse film ever made. It makes Cat Woman look Oscar worthy, and Creature was pure low budget trash. It was so ridiculous, and crappy that you can’t even enjoy it for camp value.

  • wehoaks

    Scream 2 has a helluva villain. Because she looks goofy holding a gun? That’s your reasoning? Come on Evan. Debbie Salt’s actual identity and motive are a perfect follow-up to Williamson’s Halloween tribute in the first film. Maybe Mickey was a goof, but that’s ON PURPOSE. Debbie played his ass. She duped him. her one word motive is a great tribute to another villain. Plus Metcalf’s performance is one of the best in the franchise.

    • WalkWithMeInDarkness

      I agree. I think she did a good job and it’s total Friday the 13th style “Mom’s the killer” without the cheat of never having seen her in the movie before she’s revealed. The first Scream is the best and one of my favorite movies ever, but I have to say, I personally think Scream 2 is underrated as a sequel. It might not be better than the first one (none of them are) but when compared to the worst sequels in the Halloween, Nightmare, Friday and Hellraiser franchises, I think Scream 2 stands as a pretty damn good sequel to a great first film.

  • WalkWithMeInDarkness

    Man, Evan, you really don’t like Scream 2, huh? You’ve posted about it a couple times before. To each their own, but it’s a hell of a lot better than Scream 3.

    • EvanDickson

      I actually really dig SCREAM 2 up until the ending. It’s way better than SCREAM 3. I kinda like 4 also.

      • divisionbell

        Aside from the fact that they didn’t seem to know when to end Scream 4, I though it was actually the best of the sequels. My biggest complaint with the second was actually Sidney. She reminded me of Kristen Stewart in that she only really does one act the entire series. She had no real range at all.

  • Friday-Part-7-Rules

    Scream 2: In every way imaginable a tremendous let down from the perfection of terror in Scream 1. Like Jada Pinkett’s opening sequence was ever going to rival Drew Barrymore’s. YEAH RIGHT. During the reveal sequence in Scream 2 I was put off by A.) the reveal itself but also by B.) Laurie Metcalf’s nostrils. I kept thinking it looked like she had had a bad nose job. And yes she looked ridiculous with a gun.

    F13: A New Beginning. THIS is where the franchise truly went off track for me. Some of the worst excuses for acting ever placed on film. The script could be smelled from the other side of the universe. I could accept-through gritted teeth-the constant “new” look of Jason in 2, 3 & The Final Chapter but A New Beginning is where is all went down hill. Jason Lives certainly did the franchise no favors either. If I were to have a F13 marathon it would be 1, 2, 3, The Final Chapter, The New Blood and Jason X.

    Have never seen any of the PA films.

    Jaws: The Revenge (originally titled The Return. WT…?). I enjoy this film in spite of being horrifically awful in every way. I was excited to see the franchise return to Amity and see the return of Mrs. Brody. A character I always liked in the first 2 films. I will admit that Jaws 3-D is one of my top 5 favorite films of all time. Lea Thompson (Kelly), Dennis Quaid (Mike Brody) and John Putch (Sean Brody) were great!! And talk about eye candy. LOL…Anyway- Jaws: The Revenge was never going to succeed. When the original film was released we knew practically zilch about great white shark behavior. By the time 1987 rolled around we knew a lot. So the film had that against it. And we were really suppose to accept that the shark swam from Amity to the Bahamas in a few short days? Whoever designed the shark in this one REALLY messed up. A stuffed shark at a carnival you win as a prize looks more convincing. Now, to be correct- the shark did not die simply by being touched by the boat. It was impaled. That would kill the shark. But you are right in that a shark would not stand up on its tail fins. Then again the electrodes going off in its mouth is suppose to be driving it crazy and making it jump out of the water. Still stupid. And I have always felt the roar is not suppose to be the shark actually roaring and it was more symbolic of it being a frightful beast. Still stupid to have included the roar but that’s my 2 cents.

    Never even heard of Lockjaw.

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    i like both of the killers in scream 2. tim olyphant was a fantastic psycho IMO. probably my favorite character/role that he has ever done in his career. and mrs. loomis was a really good idea too. a lot of people complain about her just because it’s laurie metcalf but i think she did a pretty good job in that movie.

  • Zombie-Killa

    Agreed 100% on Creature. The movie itself was total shit, and it’s the only time, where I genuinely felt like someone cheated me out of $10 a the theaters. That creepy and unnecessary incest sub-plot between the brother and sister added nothing to the story. The writing was shit, the acting sucked, and Lockjaw wasn’t scary!

    And to top it off, Lockjaw is supposed to be this unstoppable force, BUT somehow the guy killed him off camera. Climbs out of the hole with his skull, and we NEVER get any insight to how it all happened? Bullshit.

    How about Dr. Wynn/The Man In Black from Halloween 6/The Curse Of Michael Myers? How stupid can you be to think you can actually trust or control Michael Myers of all people? lol.

  • TwistedCritic

    The only Scream movie to have a truly satisfying reveal was the first one (that the “killer” could actually be two people was a fairly fresh idea back in 1996). Scream 2′s reveal was a considerable step down, but remember, even a lazy explanation like a “serial killer chat room” still somewhat worked in ’97, because how much did most people really know about the internet back then? Still, a throwaway line about weight loss and plastic surgery doesn’t explain why nobody (Gail in particular) didn’t recognize the annoying news reporter as Billy’s mother.

    BUT in my opinion 3 and 4′s reveals were even worse. 3: “Hey let’s suddenly give Sid a wacko half-brother – you know, the director of Stab 3 who had about 30 seconds of screen time prior to the finale. Scream 4: The killer, who spends the movie routinely overpowering people, turns out to be two short teenagers who look like they weigh about 100 pounds each.

  • doomas10

    I would add the new “Freddy” in nightmare remake. He was bloody awful. As for the Scream series- which is my favourite franchise EVAAAAAAAAAAR, I would go with the reveal in Scream 3. It made no sense- despite wrapping the whole trilogy nicely – and it was a letdown – a minor character and nobody we actually cared about. Scream 4 do not even go there! MY favourite of the sequels and awesome way to conclude the series!

    • Primeus

      See I really liked the reveal in Scream 3. While it was ridiculous the actually scene itself was awesome. The expression, and fight between brother/sister was intense. You could feel that Sidney had finally had enough, and it had this “lets do this shit!” feel to it.

      What made the Sidney character so unique is she was a fighter. Unlike the Lorie Strode character which was the typical last girl trope, the Scream franchise had a girl that actual wasn’t afraid to fight back.

      Although the chick from “You’re Next”, has totally changed the game forever. She was totally bad ass from start to finish.

      • doomas10

        You are next will be seen this week/end! I am hearing glorious things!

  • diapers

    I know there are likely about 4 individuals here who have been able to sit through all of the might “Final Exam”. The movie is shit-your-pants GREAT because of the awful villain. The script provided zero back story on what his problem is, and why he decides to stalk and murder college kids. None! You even get to see his face early on, and he’s not even deformed.

  • VictorCrowley

    I’ve never understood the raw deal Scream 2 often gets. I’ver always thought of it as the best sequel in the series and the antagonists made perfect sense, as others have already noted.

    Part 3 is the one with the lame sequel villain. They were desperately reaching for shock value with that reveal, and it just fizzled. Flat. Not a convincing character, nor his motive. To me, that was the moment that killed the franchise and one of the main reasons a well done sequel like Scream 4 failed at the box office. That and mainstream hoopla long since passing the series by.

    Part 2 is a goodin’.

  • mobstar67

    Creature..ha that movie got a good amount of hype..all i kept hearing is that it was a throwback to the oldschool monsters..what a joke..truly one of the worst films of its time..it probably wouldnt of been so bad if it wasnt hyped as much as it was and givin a massive release in thousands of theaters nationwide… bad bad bad

  • Evan3

    I didn’t think the Scream 2 reveal was that bad, and certainly better than ANYTHING in Scream 3 ( I thought Scream 4 was the far better film to end the series on). For some reason, I never connected the dots that Olyphant was the other killer. I do agree though that the ending of 2 loses steam to what was, IMO, a sequel as good as its predecessor.

    Also, I can’t agree with you more on PA’s Katie. I actually laughed in the theater during PA2 when she started snapping necks then. It is really hilarious to see. I am off the PA train though, so didn’t catch the abhorrent fourth film.

  • Evan3

    Also @EvanDickson – this is an article that deserved far more discussion. One of your best and most engaging lists for sure.