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THIS Is The Chair I Want To Die In
When I get old, feeble, and begin thinking that waking up at 6am is a good idea, there are going to be some very specific things that I will need in my life. One, I’ll still need a guitar. Will my arthritic hands be able to play it? Don’t care. Still need it. Two, I’ll need Viagra for reasons that are none of your goddamn business!!! And three? A rocking chair that will allow me to enjoy my guitar AND my Viagra (don’t ask questions, okay? It’s better that way). Luckily, Reddit user 00spool has come along with a char that is PERFECT for me and my temperament. According to his post, his father asked him to make a mock up of his rocking chair idea and the end result is a wondrous, beautiful thing.
Basically, the chair is like all other rocking chairs. You sit and you can rock back and forth. Wahoo, right? What sets it apart are the two devil horn hands topping the chair, their fingers reaching up to the sky with a permanent metal salute. At no point while sitting in that chair will any lawn-trespassing kid be able to ignore how badass I am, walker and dentures included. For a .gif of this chair in action, head on below. Now just start planning your brütal retirement well in advance.
Banner photo from Phenomenal Place
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‘Dead Mail’ Exclusive Images: SXSW Horror Movie Begins With a Blood-Stained Postal Box Delivery
One of the genre films we’re looking forward to checking out at SXSW this year is Dead Mail, written and directed by Joe DeBoer and Kyle McConaghy and premiering on March 9.
Meagan Navarro will be reviewing Dead Mail for Bloody Disgusting as part of her SXSW coverage, and she writes in her preview for the upcoming fest: “Dead Mail leans heavily into the ’80s analog aesthetic, delivering a unique crime thriller unafraid to get offbeat with its dark narrative. Expect its characters to be as atypical as Dead Mail‘s sense of style.”
In the SXSW 2024 horror film…
“On a desolate, Midwestern county road, a bound man crawls towards a remote postal box, managing to slide a blood-stained plea-for-help message into the slot before a panicking figure closes in behind him. The note makes its way to the county post office and onto the desk of Jasper, a seasoned and skilled “dead letter” investigator, responsible for investigating lost mail and returning it to its sender. As he investigates further, Jasper meets Trent, a strange yet unassuming man who has taken up residence at the men’s home where Jasper lives.
“When Trent unexpectedly shows up at Jasper’s office, it becomes clear he has a vested interest in the note, and will stop at nothing to retrieve it…”
Sterling Macer, Jr., John Fleck, Susan Priver, Micki Jackson, Tomas Boykin, and Nick Heyman star in Dead Mail. Preview the film with an exclusive image gallery below.
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