When I get old, feeble, and begin thinking that waking up at 6am is a good idea, there are going to be some very specific things that I will need in my life. One, I’ll still need a guitar. Will my arthritic hands be able to play it? Don’t care. Still need it. Two, I’ll need Viagra for reasons that are none of your goddamn business!!! And three? A rocking chair that will allow me to enjoy my guitar AND my Viagra (don’t ask questions, okay? It’s better that way). Luckily, Reddit user 00spool has come along with a char that is PERFECT for me and my temperament. According to his post, his father asked him to make a mock up of his rocking chair idea and the end result is a wondrous, beautiful thing.
Basically, the chair is like all other rocking chairs. You sit and you can rock back and forth. Wahoo, right? What sets it apart are the two devil horn hands topping the chair, their fingers reaching up to the sky with a permanent metal salute. At no point while sitting in that chair will any lawn-trespassing kid be able to ignore how badass I am, walker and dentures included. For a .gif of this chair in action, head on below. Now just start planning your brütal retirement well in advance.