Today’s a special day. A couple weeks ago, completely out of the blue, I was sent an excellent feature by a fellow games writer named Joe Donnelly, who currently resides at Beefjack. Tropes are all too prevalent in our favorite genre, but most of the following have flown under my radar until Mr. Donnelly sought them out and brought them into the light.
Read on for the 10 most overlooked horror game tropes!
Written by Joe Donnelly, @deaco2000
Aside from the obvious biological contradictions regarding the living dead, chemistry is grossly misrepresented in horror games. How could one possibly know the ph values of mixing unlabeled chemicals to create ‘acid’? Likewise, mixing strange green, red and blue herbs doesn’t necessarily equate to a potent healing antitoxin. I should know – I tried this at a music festival once and woke up three days later naked and confused in the middle of a field.
Main offender(s): Amnesia: The Dark Descent, Resident Evil series.
Zombie stricken towns appear to have a vast shortage of lift engineers, electricians, carpenters and plumbers as there always seems to be broken down lifts, malfunctioning garage shutters, jammed or completely broken doors, and blocked toilets/baths. Those who claim the labour market is faltering are job hunting in the wrong towns.
Main offender(s): Widespread.
Keys and key objects are always found in the strangest of places. Is it too much to ask that the keys remain in the corresponding locks, the cogs stay fitted to the correct contraptions, or the unusually lightweight stone statues are left on their matching activation tiles? Whoever keeps leaving keys in the toilet pan clogged with blood and gore can cut it out, now.
Main offender(s): Widespread.
Research facilities tend to be sensitive areas, however it isn’t unusual in horror games to find ammunition strewn throughout their grounds, alongside matching heavy-duty weaponry. Likewise, you wouldn’t necessarily expect to find a load of camcorder batteries stuffed in drawers and on shelves in such establishments. And even if you did – you certainly wouldn’t expect them all to be the size you’re looking for, would you? How many times have you found yourself turning your house upside down in search of double A’s and all you can find is AAA?
Main offender(s): Outlast, Resident Evil series.
Aside from the perpetual groans of the living dead, red handled gate valves seem to cause every corresponding mechanism to chime out the same melodic cackle: three similar creaks; two slow followed by one fast. Likewise, metal gates all seem to have locks which require oil as they laboriously hark out the same squeal. We’ve already established these towns lack reliable handymen, however, so perhaps all this is of little surprise.
Main offender(s): Widespread
The viruses and otherworldly afflictions suffered in these towns appear to affect people, animals and insects in a variety of inconsistent ways. Whereas humans and dogs largely become zombified or catatonic, some creatures seem to just get bigger. Spiders, scorpions, moths, alligators and sharks grow to approximately ten times their original size. Unfortunately, if your vocation is nursing you may notice a stretch in height, followed by extreme swelling of the hands and arms, thereafter resembling giant punchbags.
Main Offender(s): Resident Evil series, Silent Hill 4: The Room.
Although saving the world from pandemic infection appears to come second nature, inanimate objects such as IKEA flatpack cupboards, or stacked canteen dinner trolleys prove too much to overcome. Often, a complete and lengthy detour is required in order to find a way round such impassable road blocks.
Main Offenders(s): The Walking Dead, Silent Hill: Downpour, Clock Tower
Crouching in a ‘stealth’ position and tippy-toeing around like a cartoon robber apparently enables invisibility. What’s more, by acting out such caricature behaviour, enemies fail to hear the quite obvious sounds of their mates being strangled to death – even those nearby who completely rely on sound. If I were to tip-toe into my local grocer, nick a loaf of bread and tip-toe back out, I’d be in jail. Probably with a black eye courtesy of an unhappy shopkeeper.
Main offender(s): The Last of Us, Dead Space series.
If Sesame Street and Blue Peter taught me one thing, it’s that arts and crafts are bloody hard work. Yet when faced with a zombie apocalypse, artistic flair appears to come to the fore. Especially with rags. And sugar. For the record I’m fairly positive that it’s impossible to craft a manhole lifter from just a wax doll, a horseshoe and a lighter.
Main offender(s): Silent Hill 2, The Last of Us.
Who in their right mind designed these places? The Spencer Mansion, the Raccoon PD HQ, the Brennenburg Castle, the Mount Massive asylum? Aside from their perplexing layouts, the land alone must have cost a fortune! And why do they all have such absurdly spacious sewer areas? These ‘storage spaces’ must undoubtedly incur unnecessary expense as far as maintenance is concerned. Not to mention the fact these areas regularly attract infestations of giant spiders and crocodiles and moths. Opting out of maintenance results in malfunctioning elevators and clogged drains and broken doors and creaky gates and red handled gate valves in need of oil.
Main offender(s): All of the above.