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2013 BLACK FRIDAY CHOPPING LIST: GAMES/MERCH/TOYS

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Is there a better way to cap off our annual Black Friday Chopping List than with sweet, sweet video game deals? The answer is no, because science has proven time and time again that gaming is roughly 86% more beneficial to your psyche and your sex life than movies, music and comics. Teams of science-loving nerds have done studies that prove taking advantage of the incredible video game sales that we’re inundated with around this time of year will increase your chances of being happy by 5,000%! Go science!

In related news, almost all of the above is entirely untrue. Video games aren’t more important than movies or comics — though I think we can all agree they’re way more important than music (take that, Jonny B!). Head past the break for all the video game deals you can possibly handle.

FILMS & TV | COMICS & BOOKS | MUSIC


Steam’s Autumn Sale

One of the greatest sales on Earth come from Steam, and their annual Autumn Sale — which kicked off yesterday — is no exception. It brings with it discounts on a slew of titles, both new and old, AAA and indie, good and bad. Steam doesn’t judge. All video games are welcome and many are insanely cheap.

Interested? – Check them out!

Amazon’s Black Friday Week

Not looking to go through the hassle of getting a Steam account? Than Amazon is the next best thing. They’ve been celebrating Black Friday all week, and the festivities will continue into next week with “Cyber Monday.”

Interested? – Check them out!

Wal-Mart’s Black Friday Deals

Wal-Mart’s continuing their trend of extending their Black Friday deals to cover the entire weekend. You can look forward to getting the 250GB PlayStation 3 bundle for $149.99, which comes with The Last of Us and one other game, a 4GB Xbox 360 for $99, a PSP Ultimate bundle for $99, a Nintendo 2DS for $99 and Call of Duty: Ghosts for $39.96.

They’ll also be restocking both the Xbox One and PlayStation 4 — sans discounts, so they’ll sell for $499 and $399, respectively — with titles on the former seeing some serious discounts. Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag, Dead Rising 3 Day One Edition, Forza Motorsport 5, Ryse: Son of Rome, Zoo Tycoon, Fighter Within and LEGO Marvel Super Heroes will all be discounted to $49.99. Several PS4 titles, including Injustice: Gods Among Us, Killzone: Shadow Fall and Knack will all be discounted to $49.99 as well.

If you’d rather stick with your PS3 and/or Xbox 360, Wal-Mart has a slew of games for each console that will be selling for $10, $15 and $25.

Interested? – Check them out!

Black Friday At GameStop

GameStop isn’t going all out this year, but they’re still offering a few good deals this year, starting with a 250GB Xbox 360 bundle w/Halo 4 and Tomb Raider for $199, 250GB PS3 bundle w/The Last of Us and Batman: Arkham Origins for $199, Battlefield 4 for $24.99 (more than half off) and a special ‘buy two pre-owned items and get one free’ promotion. Unlike everything else on this list, GameStop will be closed today, but they’re reopening at 12:01AM tomorrow.

Interested? – Check them out!

GOG.com’s EPIC Black Friday Sale

Online games retailer GOG.com is having a Black Friday sale, too. They’re not calling it epic, but I am. In celebration of one of the best days of the year, Good Old Games is discounting over sixty titles by 70%. The best part? You don’t need to camp out to take advantage of these sweet deals, because it’s all online.

Interested? – Check them out!

Grand Theft Auto V

If you’re like me and you haven’t already grabbed one of the biggest video games of 2013, Best Buy is totally willing to help you take care of that. They’re selling the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 version for nearly half off right now. I’d say more, but I need to get this baby in my cart before it disappears.

$33.99 – Purchase Here

Black Friday At Thinkgeek!

Geek merch site Thinkgeek is celebrating Black Friday with 20% off all orders over $40, just enter code BLACKMAGIC at check out. They have a decent collection of exclusive licensed gear for Portal 2, World of Warcraft, Minecraft and Dungeons & Dragons, including a snazzy illuminated diamond ore lamp, miniature replica Portal gun and an adorable WoW panda hoodie.

Interested? – Check them out!

Silent Hill Figures

Have a little extra to spend this holiday season? Perhaps you’re looking to reward a certain horror games writer for his unwavering dedication to making sure you get all your horror news and features, sprinkled with a generous dose of irreverence and undiluted cuteness? Might I suggest Gecco and Toymunkey Studios’ line of figures inspired by the Silent Hill franchise? They’re pricey, but you get what you’re paying for. These things are stunning and are absolutely must-buys for fans of Konami’s legendary survival horror franchise.

You might want to act fast on pre-ordering one of these beauties, because it looks like Gecco may soon be terminating their distribution contract with Toymunkey, which may lead to these becoming just a wee bit more difficult to find.

Interested? Check them out!

NECA – Video Game Freddy

When I was at SDCC this past summer my phone was blowing up. A lot of it was news from the con, but just as much of it seemed to be from friends hitting me up to grab the SDCC exclusive 8-Bit Jason for them. While that one’s not really widely available (it was an SDCC exclusive after all – but you can find it on eBay and Amazon for like $140) – you CAN get its counterpart! NECA’s Freddy Kreuger is ‘a fully articulated 7-inch figure done up in that truly horrifying video game deco. This figure comes in a special window box packaging with opening flap to re-create the look and feel of the classic 1989 video game packaging.’” ~ ED

Interested? Check it out!

NECA – Hicks Vs. Damaged Warrior

Just look at this thing! NECA continues to absolutely kill it with their Alien designs! In a perfect world I’d have this with Hudson on my shelf. Sadly, I have neither.” ~ ED

Interested? Check it out!

Electric Zombie Merch

Just like every year, Electric Zombie continues to kill it with their retro merch. This ‘Jason Lives’ shirt is to die for and there’s plenty of more where that came from.” ~ ED

Interested? Check them out!

McFarlane Toys – Daryl Dixon 10″ Figure

Given the popularity of “The Walking Dead” there’s no doubt you know someone who would dig this. McFarlane Toys is smart to be putting this increasingly beloved character on the chopping block this Holiday season.” ~ ED

Interested? Check it out!

Old Colony Figurines

These guys continue to make great – albeit EXTREMELY limited edition – ‘unofficial’ figurines. They’re not licensed, but they’re great. And their lineup this year includes several versions of Jason!” ~ ED

Interested? Check them out!


Gamer, writer, terrible dancer, longtime toast enthusiast. Legend has it Adam was born with a controller in one hand and the Kraken's left eye in the other. Legends are often wrong.

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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