We’re getting excited for Lionsgate’s upcoming Nurse 3D, which will be released on various VOD platforms (including iTunes and limited theaters on February 7, 2014. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but if it lives up to the poster I’m in!
In the film, “By day, nurse Abby Russell lovingly attends to the patients at All Saints Memorial Hospital; by night, Abby prowls nightclubs, luring unfaithful men into dangerous liaisons. After Danni, a young, sensitive nurse, joins the hospital staff, Abby pursues her friendship. But when the friendship turns to obsession, Danni spurns Abby, unleashing Abby’s fury and a rampage of terror.” Directed by Doug Aarniokoski, the film stars Paz de la Huerta, Katrina Bowden, Corbin Bleu, Boris Kodjoe, Adam Herschman, Neal McDonough, Niecy Nash and Nick Turturro.
To celebrate the release of Nurse 3D, which almost certainly features acts that could get any caretaker dismissed from their job, we decided to take a sponsored look at 5 Horrific Movie Nurses Who Should Have Lost Their Jobs!.
While you can kind of make the case that Jenny Agutter’s Alex Price was kind of foolish when it came to her decision to bring newly minted werewolf David Kessler home and begin an affair with him – I’m not sure that’s fireable material (caveat – I’m not a member of HIPAA and I don’t think the UK has HIPAA either). But Nurse Susan Gallagher is a total perv.
When we first meet her she’s giggling while dishing on David’s circumcision. And that’s *with* their boss Dr. Hirsch listening in! There must have been a dearth of nurses in London at that point.
I’m not even sure who hired these sexy nurses. Clearly some piggish doctor who was only looking at their figure. It doesn’t look like they can even see! They move like marionettes and I’m not even sure they have nursing degrees!
I haven’t seen Misery in years but I’m pretty sure Annie Wilkes had already been fired from her job. I’m here to say, “way to go former employer!” Though she probably should have already been in prison by the time James Caan’s Paul Sheldon crashed into her life. There’s no way her hair trigger temper and general insanity hadn’t already been exposed on the job. I pity any of the patients that cussed in front of her out of pain.
Before you jump down my throat about this not being a horror movie, at least consider the fact that the Milos Forman’s 1975 masterpiece is at the very least *horrifying*. While the film paints Louise Flether’s Nurse Ratched as a somewhat three dimensional character with her own ideas of what’s best for her patients, she’s still a fairly frightening figure that has no business around these patients. Especially Brad Dourif’s poor Billy Bibbit.
As Greg Focker can attest, not all nurses are women. And, as a male, Buck happens to be the most straight up vile and horrible human being on this list. Violating (and allowing others to violate) comatose patients is of course his biggest crime. But his filthy mouth and even filthier jar of vaseline don’t help matters either. His painful death is among the most deserved in all of cinema.