Editorials
My 5 Favorite Television Horror Shows!!!
Horror on TV is going through a renaissance. Actually, TV itself is going through a renaissance and just happens to be embracing horror in a big way – perhaps due to the fact that cable shows don’t have to be adherent to network standards and practices and can embrace darker themes as well as, you know, blood.
That doesn’t mean that all good horror on TV has been a part of the current “golden era,” there are still plenty of old gems. And, just like movies, I reserve the right to change up my preferences on a day-to-day basis. I don’t believe in absolutes, moods change. If written tomorrow, this list would be different. A few other warnings, I don’t like ”The Walking Dead” – just preparing you in advance. I should also note that I haven’t seen enough ”Supernatural” to really make a call on it, though I do like what I’ve seen so far.
Head below for My 5 Favorite Television Horror Shows!!!
Notice to American Horror Story – you are on probation and are in grave danger of falling off of this list forever. While I loved the pilot for Coven and a few of the episodes that immediately followed it, the back half of this season was a shocking, monumental letdown. What worked so well for the initial episodes – not giving a f*ck – came back to bite the writers of this show in the ass when it came time to wrap things up. Perhaps planning ahead is a good idea? Mr. Disgusting is correct when he diagnoses the show with “Heroes Syndrome” – if death isn’t permanent (and in this case it’s almost always reversed) where are the stakes? Right now AHS is clinging on to its ranking by the fingernails of its glorious first season, since retitled Murder House.
Buffy wasn’t always a horror show tonally speaking, but it certainly had enough creatures and horror tropes to ensure itself a place in our hearts. It also happened to be an amazing show, period, regardless of genre. After a rocky start in Season 1, Joss Whedon’s calling card ultimately found its footing in its spectacular second season. Looking at it now, a lot of newcomers might be turned off by the show’s meager budget and jovial attitude, but it was the warmth between the characters and their believable relationships that kept this narrative spinning for seven years. Some seasons may have hit the mark more than others, but there was never a dud.
I don’t know how I got away with watching this as a kid. Maybe the Crypt Keeper’s cartoonish presence somehow convinced my Mom what I was in the hands of safe entertainment before she headed out of the room, but this macabre anthology series became part of my very DNA growing up. Decades later, episodes like the Demi Moore (and Jeffrey Tambor) starring “Dead Right” and the Lance Henriksen infused “Cutting Cards” still pepper my thoughts. For a good long while, these were the strongest morality tales and fables that cable had to offer.
This 1987 series fizzled sort of quickly and, to be honest, I don’t remember very many specifics from it. What I do remember, however, was my absolute burning need to see it. I would absolutely lose my sh*t as a kid if we got home late on whatever night this aired (this was back in the day of VCR programming, something beyond my childish capabilities). Something about this show resonated with me so deeply that I’d be remiss if I didn’t include it here. Also, it had four-legged werewolves – a design I’ve always preferred over the bipedal “wolf man” iteration of the creature.
If you try to tell me this isn’t a horror show I will fight you in the street. This modern day masterpiece written by Nic Pizzolatto and directed by Cary Fukunaga might be wrapped up in the skin of a procedural, but it’s about so much more than that. It might have less gore than something like “Hannibal” (though it does have antlers), but the black heart beating at the center of it is more horrifying than just about anything. Occasionally riffing on Robert Chambers’ “The King In Yellow,” this is the only show on this list that is actually capable of scaring me at the moment. It doesn’t make me afraid for my safety or things that go bump in the night, it makes me afraid of what we all have inside of us and the fate that awaits mankind itself.
Having grown up in a religious family, Christian movie night was something that happened a lot more often than I care to admit. However, back when I was a teenager, my parents showed up one night with an unusually cool-looking DVD of a movie that had been recommended to them by a church leader. Curious to see what new kind of evangelical propaganda my parents had rented this time, I proceeded to watch the film with them expecting a heavy-handed snoozefest.
To my surprise, I was a few minutes in when Denzel Washington proceeded to dismember a band of cannibal raiders when I realized that this was in fact a real movie. My mom was horrified by the flick’s extreme violence and dark subject matter, but I instantly became a fan of the Hughes Brothers’ faith-based 2010 thriller, The Book of Eli. And with the film’s atomic apocalypse having apparently taken place in 2024, I think this is the perfect time to dive into why this grim parable might also be entertaining for horror fans.
Originally penned by gaming journalist and The Walking Dead: The Game co-writer Gary Whitta, the spec script for The Book of Eli was already making waves back in 2007 when it appeared on the coveted Blacklist. It wasn’t long before Columbia and Warner Bros. snatched up the rights to the project, hiring From Hell directors Albert and Allen Hughes while also garnering attention from industry heavyweights like Denzel Washington and Gary Oldman.
After a series of revisions by Anthony Peckham meant to make the story more consumer-friendly, the picture was finally released in January of 2010, with the finished film following Denzel as a mysterious wanderer making his way across a post-apocalyptic America while protecting a sacred book. Along the way, he encounters a run-down settlement controlled by Bill Carnegie (Gary Oldman), a man desperate to get his hands on Eli’s book so he can motivate his underlings to expand his empire. Unwilling to let this power fall into the wrong hands, Eli embarks on a dangerous journey that will test the limits of his faith.
SO WHY IS IT WORTH WATCHING?
Judging by the film’s box-office success, mainstream audiences appear to have enjoyed the Hughes’ bleak vision of a future where everything went wrong, but critics were left divided by the flick’s trope-heavy narrative and unapologetic religious elements. And while I’ll be the first to admit that The Book of Eli isn’t particularly subtle or original, I appreciate the film’s earnest execution of familiar ideas.
For starters, I’d like to address the religious elephant in the room, as I understand the hesitation that some folks (myself included) might have about watching something that sounds like Christian propaganda. Faith does indeed play a huge part in the narrative here, but I’d argue that the film is more about the power of stories than a specific religion. The entire point of Oldman’s character is that he needs a unifying narrative that he can take advantage of in order to manipulate others, while Eli ultimately chooses to deliver his gift to a community of scholars. In fact, the movie even makes a point of placing the Bible in between equally culturally important books like the Torah and Quran, which I think is pretty poignant for a flick inspired by exploitation cinema.
Sure, the film has its fair share of logical inconsistencies (ranging from the extent of Eli’s Daredevil superpowers to his impossibly small Braille Bible), but I think the film more than makes up for these nitpicks with a genuine passion for classic post-apocalyptic cinema. Several critics accused the film of being a knockoff of superior productions, but I’d argue that both Whitta and the Hughes knowingly crafted a loving pastiche of genre influences like Mad Max and A Boy and His Dog.
Lastly, it’s no surprise that the cast here absolutely kicks ass. Denzel plays the title role of a stoic badass perfectly (going so far as to train with Bruce Lee’s protégée in order to perform his own stunts) while Oldman effortlessly assumes a surprisingly subdued yet incredibly intimidating persona. Even Mila Kunis is remarkably charming here, though I wish the script had taken the time to develop these secondary characters a little further. And hey, did I mention that Tom Waits is in this?
AND WHAT MAKES IT HORROR ADJACENT?
Denzel’s very first interaction with another human being in this movie results in a gory fight scene culminating in a face-off against a masked brute wielding a chainsaw (which he presumably uses to butcher travelers before eating them), so I think it’s safe to say that this dog-eat-dog vision of America will likely appeal to horror fans.
From diseased cannibals to hyper-violent motorcycle gangs roaming the wasteland, there’s plenty of disturbing R-rated material here – which is even more impressive when you remember that this story revolves around the bible. And while there are a few too many references to sexual assault for my taste, even if it does make sense in-universe, the flick does a great job of immersing you in this post-nuclear nightmare.
The excessively depressing color palette and obvious green screen effects may take some viewers out of the experience, but the beat-up and lived-in sets and costume design do their best to bring this dead world to life – which might just be the scariest part of the experience.
Ultimately, I believe your enjoyment of The Book of Eli will largely depend on how willing you are to overlook some ham-fisted biblical references in order to enjoy some brutal post-apocalyptic shenanigans. And while I can’t really blame folks who’d rather not deal with that, I think it would be a shame to miss out on a genuinely engaging thrill-ride because of one minor detail.
With that in mind, I’m incredibly curious to see what Whitta and the Hughes Brothers have planned for the upcoming prequel series starring John Boyega…
There’s no understating the importance of a balanced media diet, and since bloody and disgusting entertainment isn’t exclusive to the horror genre, we’ve come up with Horror Adjacent – a recurring column where we recommend non-horror movies that horror fans might enjoy.
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