Coroner’s Van Malfunctions, Jettisons Corpse Onto Busy Road

StarbucksCorpse

Picture this: It’s a Friday. You’re on your lunch break. It’s a gorgeous day, with an ideal combination of ample sunlight that’s kept cool by a continuous breeze. You’re in your car, the windows are rolled down, and you’re bobbing your head to your favorite tunes. Maybe you took a detour at a Starbucks and are sipping on a venti vanilla bean frappuccino, maybe you didn’t.

Everything’s perfect, the weekend is just around the corner. Then, without warning, a corpse strapped to a gurney is jettisoned from the big white van in front of you.

Even though you’re in mid sip, struggling to evade the chunk of ice that’s trying its best to keep your straw from delivering that delicious Starbucks nectar to your eager tummy — because even the all-knowing Starbucks baristas make mistakes — you narrowly escape the gurney and the expired human that’s strapped to it.

“Phew, that was close” you say to yourself. Then, a dragon- err, no, this isn’t storytime.

Flourishes aside, this exact scenario was experienced by some folks on a busy Pennsylvania road this past Friday when the rear doors on a coroner’s van malfunctioned, releasing its macabre contents onto the road.

According to the Bucks County Courier Times, this happened next to a shopping mall, making it very possible that one or more of the unsuspecting drivers behind the van had stopped at Starbucks.

Plenty of passersby saw it happen, including Jerry Bradley, who posted on his Facebook, saying “Just when I thought I’ve seen everything. That’s a dead body on a stretcher that launched out of the back of a coroner’s vehicle in Feasterville.”

Now, because I’m strange and have a coffee-obsessed gremlin residing in the part of my brain that should house my morality, when I first read this news I immediately thought of how cool it would’ve been to be behind the coroner’s van when it happened.

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Source: Global News
  • Guest

    Why would you publish such a story. it’s completely disrespectful to the deceaseds family. I hope you all feel good about yourself harvesting ad revenue from the suffering of others.

    • Leah

      You do realize this page is called Bloody Disgusting, right? Everything they post is some shade of f****ed up. This is no exception. Yes it is unfortunate that happened and that person may, or may not, have a family who wouldn’t find the situation humorous. But Jesus, have we all turned into humorless brats that can’t handle a bit of comedy during something horrible? If that were my family member, I’d be able to laugh. Truthfully half of my family would find that funny.

      • J Jett

        Leah, have you lost any family members? hopefully you haven’t and they are still around for you to love. try losing one or every member of your family and then come back and talk to me about how “humorous” this situation above is.

        • Sick_skwerl

          Everyone has dead family. Even some of us has all dead family. And you know what? If this is the story that has gotten you tuned up today, just Google all the thousands and thousands of people who wound up dead today and tell me there isn’t at least ONE story that makes you laugh. I’d rather chuckle at inept coroners dropping a dead guy, than cringe ata family stoning their daughter to death in Pakistan.
          Life’s hard; get a helmet.

          • Leah

            Amen to that.

        • Leah

          I have numerous family members who have passed, yes I am sad they are gone but that doesn’t mean I am immune to humor. I would have found it funny if it had been one of them.

    • Nameless

      ‘…harvesting ad revenue from the suffering of others.’
      Great visual! It perfectly describes most television commercials.

  • ThunderDragoon

    You are very twisted. I like it!… was what I was going to say, but then I read the comment below. Now I feel guilty. *hangs head in shame*

    • Rebecca Way

      It’s ok to find humor in other people’s pain. We are human after all..

  • macguffin54

    I don’t have a problem with the story but that a contributor to this site is an admitted grave robber. If THAT isn’t disrespectful to the deceased I don’t know what is.

    • Leah

      I didn’t like that either. The story in itself was humorous but that’s not right. Unless of course it was part of the joke too. Which is what I am hoping it is.

  • Sick_skwerl

    Hah! What a total mind fuck that would be! Can I come to Halloween, Adam?
    And evey one that is upset- hey, it’s a dead guy, he doesn’t care. And there’s no name, so it isn’t like Tom’s family realized it was him… Oops.

  • Dwight

    I’m all for gory movies, but this is disrespectful to the deceased and family. There are plenty of gore sights on the web to go see dead bodies. And you should be ashamed even as an adult about stealing from graves. Sounds like you had some shitty parenting going on.

  • J Jett

    Adam i like you but no it wouldn’t be “cool” to see that happen. if i was a family member or friend of the deceased person on that stretcher it would devastate me. and i hope HOPE you were joking about being a grave robber. no offense but if i ever caught you doing that to someone i loved (pretty much everyone in my family has passed away from cancer) i would kill you. i mean that in all seriousness. this bums me out Adam. what you wrote (IF it’s true) makes it hard to have respect for you nor to want to read anything you write from here on out.

  • Adam Dodd

    Looks like I offended some people! Sorry about that, folks. The grave-robbing was a joke. I thought it was obvious, apparently it wasn’t. I’ve removed that bit from the article.

    • Sick_skwerl

      Pssh, for one, now no one will understand all these pissy comments if you delete what you said. And for, two, fuck these people that can’t take a joke. (And by the way, most of my family is dead, and WHO FUCKING CARES IF somebody does something to the grave?! No one I know gives a shit what happens to their body- because they’re fucking dead.)
      Don’t let this stupid ass retaliation change your article. You can edit for some sort of new information, but don’t change because people are going to cry over a dead guy falling out of an ambulance (and for everyone that is sad, I’m SURE the people driving lost their jobs for some negligence).People die everyday. In horrible, terrible ways. Have a laugh or have a cry, but stay out of free speech.

      • Leah

        It is sad to see so many people freak out over this. It was a rather funny article and those who have a sense of humor have to censor themselves to calm those who don’t. I’d rather be able to laugh at unfortunate things than cry about everything.

  • Sick_skwerl

    Paul Walker- nooooooooo!

  • Angie

    Hey this was in my local news! (I live in Philadelphia, right on the border of Bucks).