Editor’s Note: I’m about to have some serious fun here. Also, I had to do a Google search for ‘penis anatomy’, so I think I deserve some credit.

It’s 100% no secret that the Xenomorph family in the Alien franchise are rather sexualized creatures. The Facehugger impregnates both men and women equally by forcing its proboscis (I had to look this word up) down the throat of its victim and laying an egg in the chest of the unwilling host. The Alien Queen, well.. she literally gives birth, which denotes that sex of some kind happens to ensure procreation and impregnation. And lastly, the Xenomorph itself has a very phallic appearing head and it shoots acid from its mouth (aka the tip). If you don’t think there’s anything sexual in that, I recommend watching an adult video where the receiving party doesn’t cover their eyes properly to witness why this seems rather painful. Not that I’ve ever seen that, mind you… Please clear my search history when I die.

The reason I bring this up is because these were all symbolic sexual themes that gave an additional layer of horror to the stories we witnessed over the years. But they weren’t exactly slapped across our faces a few times before being shoved down our throats. But had the original Prometheus Xenomorph design been utilized, all pretenses would be gone and we’d be seeing a real dickhead. Literally.

AVPGalaxy.net posted a photo of the original Xenomorph design that was going to be used in Prometheus and it’s not all that different from what we’re used to seeing. It’s got the sharp silver teeth, the exposed ribs, and the creepy multi-fingered webbed hand. But the shape of the head is a little bit different in that it’s a flat out gigantic “Ron Jeremy is impressed” fucking cock!

Instead of a smooth banana head all the way to the face, this design introduces both the glans (the head of the dick) and the meatus (the little slit at the end). There’s nothing symbolic about this tallywhacker of a Xenomorph because I’m guessing that instead of a second mouth it’s got a silver dong ready to skull fuck you and, just to add insult to injury, ejaculate some acid on your corpse. And if you think that a phallus can’t do all that much damage, you’ve probably never seen A Serbian Film or Cabin Fever: Patient Zero.

Below is the design, so you can see it for yourself.

Now, am I just seeing things and have dicks on the mind or is there something to what I’m saying?