SMUT FACTORY – The lore and gore of Seduction Cinema

Our horror coverage just wouldn’t be complete without plugging a little Seduction Cinema- come on, I know some of you really dig this sh-t. Our buddy Spooky Dan here in LA really digs this stuff and we decided he’d be the perfect dude to write some columns and do some interviews for the company that mixes horror with- you guessed it- eroticism (I’ve always wanted to use a word like that). Beware the article is slightly vulgar, so no complaining if you read and don’t like. Read on to read his first article SMUT FACTORY – The lore and gore of Seduction Cinema
SMUT FACTORY – The lore and gore of Seduction Cinema… Part 1
By: Spooky Dan

Check out Seduction Cinema’s official website:

Yo Ho Bitches!

Once upon a time as a very little kid, around the age of 7 or so, I was visiting my Grandfather’s house in Chicago, he was a mean old bastard that happened to have a collection to make most of us drool, he had what I think was every Playboy magazine ever published! Now, even though I was crazy young, I knew I wasn’t supposed to look at them, so of course, I would sneak away and check out the naked lady pictures… Thus began my career as a soft-core coinsurer.

Fast forward to my 30th birthday party, I have a house full of guests partying and a few people are looking over my DVD collection, when someone points out that I have entire shelves filled with these silly horror and tits movies made by Seduction Cinema. After taking much abuse by a few friends I explain to them how much fun they are! I don’t mean in a “jerking off to porno” kind of a way but in a “hey lets watch this crappy movie with lousy acting, terrible plots, and tons of fun anyway…and we get to see gobs of boobs!!”

So now I look forward to all these crappy movies, which are often better viewed as a trailer than as entire feature length viewing. Honestly, most people just write these gems off as Cinemax after hours crap. But, unlike the gems that they normally play after midnight, Seduction Cinema has brought in a element of horror and gore. Now let me clarify that: There is nothing scary about these movies, with the exception of some of the bad boob jobs and super gifted acting, but there is a whole world of comedy hidden underneath such classics like Mistress Frankenstein, Vampire Seduction and who could forget Playmate of The Apes!

I will freely admit, that while I particularly have a love and fascination for these movies, most of them are barely watchable. With the exception to some of the films, they are pretty much cookie cutter spoofs on popular movies that take our favorite girls and put them in sketchy situations to somehow lez out with another girl or two, in a very R rated way, rarely does it venture into X rated territory. They then move onto the next scene with some more great acting and then more macking down. Occasionally you get to see a bit of the pink, but for the most part its all boobs all day. Fine by me. So with that said I will be bringing you a regular feature here at Bloody –Disgusting so you horror freaks can know which quality sh-tty boobie movie you should shell out your hard earned bucks for.

Here is a list of some of the titles that you should get your slimy hands onto.
Remember these grades are not based on your conventional quality, this is just plain good old fashioned smut, meaning that I know what it is, and so do the films… so don’t expect that because I gave Satan School for Lust 4 stars for good boobs and script, doesn’t meant that it’s a good movie, it means that it’s a good TNA fest worthy of your time, this is no Exorcist or Titanic (2 genuinely scary movies).

A quick word of warning, if you do go out and buy these, they come with 2 versions. The one you buy at Best Buy or Suncoast is a cut down tamer version than you will get directly from their website. Sometimes they even throw in a coupon to get the dirtier version through the mail for free (plus shipping). So do the right thing and get the smuttier and filthier version for your permanent collection.

The Sexy Adventures of Van Helsing
Boobs: *****
Plot: ***
Gore – 0
Overall: In a Oscar worthy performance, scream queen Darian Caine wows us all with her endowments and fine acting. I really do like her.
Worth viewing for the lack of CGI that its more popular counterpart has way too much of. The plot is far remover from the other movie also. On the plus side there is plenty of good boobs and some really funny stuff by actress Erika Smith, doing her best “Comic Book Geek” impersonation. A fun waste of time.

Playmate of the Apes
Boobs: **
Plot: *
Gore – 0
Overall: Crap don’t bother

Lord of the G-strings… or Lord of the Strings? (I am not sure which is which)
Boobs: *
Plot: ***
Gore – 0
Overall: Terrible, even if you want naked lezbo action. Fantastic if you want bad acting, kinda funny spoof, with a decided lack of tits, but I think this one has been playing on late night cable so wait for it there and save your hard earned bucks for the

Screaming Dead
Boobs: **
Plot: ***
Gore: ***
Overall: OK, so we have Misty Mundae, who looks like she is 15, which kinda rules, then I feel all guilty for being a dirty old man, but come on… who didn’t want to bang around with this hot chick when you were in high school?? Shit, who wouldn’t want to now… well if it was legal? Problem is, I am a breast man. Meaning the bigger the better, which is why this a+ cup girl doesn’t do much for me. But tits aside, (ahem) this movie actually has a plot, some genuinely funny moments and gore.

OK that’s it for the first installment of the Smut Factor, in the cum-ing weeks I will have more reviews and hopefully an interview or two with the fine actresses of seduction cinema and other smut worthy horror films.

Check out Seduction Cinema’s official website

Source: Spooky Dan, Official Seduction CInema website