Horror In Your House Teases Hatchet!

Besides finally being able to watch Ash kick some ass with his boom stick in Universal’s HD-DVD release of Army of Darkness, this Tuesday Anchor Bay (Starz) will finally release Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (review) on DVD, which when purchased at Circuit City stores will come with a free Hatchet “First Look” DVD, which features the theatrical teaser trailer and an exclusive interview with writer/director Adam Green that reveals clips from the film and behind the scenes footage! Read on to see what else hits stores this Tuesday and don’t forget to get your double-dose of ’80s throw-back horror at Circuit City! The following list is HUGE, prepare to spend money!
Horror in your House
June 26, 2007
By: Tex Massacre

Army of Darkness (HD-DVD): Universal

Bound in human flesh, inked in blood – and amazingly hard to pronounce – the ancient “Necronomicon” unleashes unspeakable evil upon mankind in director Sam Raimi’s outrageously hilarious sword-and-sorcery epic.

I could not–in good conscience–go this week without mentioning that the umpteenth release of ARMY OF DARKNESS arrives…this time in HD. How long before Anchor Bay gets a license to start double dipping the Universal release? Any guesses?

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon: Anchor Bay (TEX’S PICK OF THE WEEK)

You know legendary maniacs Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger. Now meet Leslie Vernon, the next great psycho-slasher. Nathan Baesel stars as Vernon, a good-natured killing machine who invites a documentary film crew to follow him as he reminisces with his murder mentor, evades his psychiatrist/nemesis, deconstructs Freudian symbolism, and meticulously plots his upcoming slaughter spree. But when the actual carnage begins, where do you draw the line between voyeuristic thrills, mythic evil, and good old- fashioned slasher movie mayhem?

Judging by the box office take and lightening fast theatrical run, a shitload of you readers still need to see Scott Glosserman’s masterpiece. Enjoy the hell out of it!!!

The Brutal River: Tai Seng Entertainment

Terror strikes the peaceful, quiet Thai river village of Lang Suan when its residents begin to disappear one by one. The villagers’ search for their disappearances leads them to a huge, alligator-like animal. They must find a way to kill the fearsome feast and end its brutal massacre.

Cult Camp Classics 1: Sci-Fi Thrillers (ATTACK OF THE 50 FT. WOMAN, THE GIANT BEHEMOTH, QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE): Warner Brothers

ATTACK OF THE 50 FT. WOMAN: Big girls don’t cry–they get even! A wife angered by her hubby’s philandering gets the size to match her rage after a strange UFO encounter. QUEEN OF OUTERSPACE: Males are outlawed on Venus. But Zsa Zsa Gabor and other curvy spacelings like what they see! THE GIANT BEHEMOTH: Atomic meddling causes a brontosaurian whopper to rise from the depths… and a little place called London is in its way.

Cult Camp Classics 2: Women in Peril (THE BIG CUBE, CAGED, TROG): Warner Brothers

THE BIG CUBE: Squares will be cubed! Peace-and-love lovebirds think a trippy little potion will drive widow Lana Turner loco… and leave them to collect her millions. CAGED: Hope Emerson is 6’2″ of bad road as the penitentiary matron who terrorizes inmate Eleanor Parker. 3 Oscar nominations (really) for this reform-minded iron-bar-motel classic! TROG: A prehistoric cave dweller emerges. He’s the scientific find of the age, says anthropologist Joan Crawford. He’s a fearsome killer, says others. People… can’t we all get along?

Cult Camp Classics 3 – Terrorized Travelers (HOT RODS TO HELL, SKYJACKER, ZERO HOUR!)

HOT RODS TO HELL: “These kids have nowhere to go, and they want to get there at 150 miles an hour.” Dana Andrews and Jeanne Crain are straight-arrow parents as their cult-movie rubber meets the road. SKYJACKER: There’s been a change in flight plans. Pilot Charlton Heston has a sky full of trouble when a deranged passenger brandishes a grenade. ZERO HOUR!: Can anyone fly this crate? Food poisoning strikes the crew of a DC-4, so traumatized war vet Dana Andrews takes the controls. Happy landings–and don’t eat the seafood entree!

Cult Camp Classics 4 – Historical Epics (THE COLOSSUS OF RHODES / LAND OF THE PHARAOHS / THE PRODIGAL)

THE COLOSSUS OF RHODES: Rory Calhoun wears the hero’s toga, and spectacle rules this tale of the strife-torn ancient isle and the gargantuan, human-shaped edifice/fortress striding its harbor. LAND OF THE PHAROAHS: The building of the Great Pyramid teems with secrets–and the deadliest is a plot to kill the king! THE PRODIGAL: A story told for millennia–but never like this! Pagan princess Lana Turner eyes the adventurous youth who arrives in the big city with his inheritance in hand.

Dead Silence (review): Universal

From the writers and director of Saw comes a new thriller of relentless terror! Ever since Mary Shaw was hunted down and killed, the small town of Ravens Fair has been haunted by horrific deaths. When a local’s wife is brutally murdered, he returns home to unravel the terrifying legend of Mary Shaw and the reason why when you see her, you should never, ever scream.

Creepy dummies come in all kinds of versions, R-Rated, Un-Rated and High Defination this week!

Drive-In Classics: St. Clair Vision

Count `em Grindhouse house lovers…nine public domain trash classics on 3-discs for less than 10 bucks….and what do you get….

DRIVE-IN MASSACRE: Patrons of a drive-in theatre are terrorized by a machete-wielding maniac. SCREAM BLOODY MURDER: A demented man’s hand is replaced by a hook which he uses for murder. DIE SISTER DIE!: An isolated house is the setting for horror and perversion as a family of troubled souls play out their violent fantasies. TRACK OF THE MOON BEAST: A rogue rock from a meteor shower transforms a loving boyfriend into a freakish mutant. LEGEND OF BIGFOOT: This pseudo-documentary tracks the mythic Sasquatch through the forest. THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS: 300-pound wrestler Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka plays a noted Russian nuclear scientist chased by Commie spies into the desert where he runs right into an atomic blast and is turned into a hair-eating, club-wielding monster who befriends the local rabbits. SHE DEMONS: A cruise party takes a wrong turn and find themselves on a remote island inhabited by a tribe of sexy, modestly-garbed She Demons. But they’re not alone on the island. Prepare yourself for some Nazi agents, a mad scientist, a war criminal, and a serum that transforms human beings into hideous beasts! RATTLERS: After being exposed to chemicals, venomous rattlesnakes begin attacking people without provocation. Made for television. JESSE JAMES MEETS FRANKENSTEIN’S DAUGHTER: When Jesse brings his wounded muscle-bound partner to the doctor; he soon wishes that he had picked a different physician. The doctor is Frankenstein’s granddaughter and she’s a real pro at dismemberment and transplantation.

Ebola Syndrome: Discotek

Kai San is a sleazy and despicable bastard of the most epic proportions! After being caught screwing the wife of his boss, he goes on a killing spree and flees Hong Kong. 10 years later, Kai finds himself working as a restaurant chef in South Africa. Overworked, underpaid, berated, and extorted by the restaurant owners who know of his fugitive status, Kai is a ticking timebomb. While visiting an ebola infected tribe to purchase some discount meat for the restaurant, Kai takes time out of his busy schedule to rape a sick native woman on his way back to work. Fortunately for our anti-hero, he’s a one in a million kind of guy- the kind that recovers from Ebola, yet continues to carry and spread the disease. Kai embarks on an over the top killing/raping/Ebola-spreading rampage unlike anything you have ever seen!

Frankenstein Conquers the World: Tokyo Shock/Media Blasters

During WWII, a human heart taken from a certain lab in Europe is kept in a Japanese lab. When it gets exposed to the radiation from the bombing of Hiroshima, the heart grows in size, mutates and sprouts appendages, and eventually grows into a complete body and escapes–later, the feral boy is captured by scientists who refer to the boy as Frankenstein. The creature grows to the height of 20 feet, escapes again, fights police and army, and is practically indestructible.

Going Under: Blue Underground

Peter, a married psychotherapist, and Suzanne, a professional dominatrix, have been engaged in an affair of sensual dominance and submission in an S&M dungeon where they must abide by the rules. Now, those rules are about to be broken when they agree to see each other on the outside. As Peter becomes increasingly obsessed with the troubled Suzanne, they embark on a sordid psychosexual journey into their tortured pasts through their most carnal desires.

Haunted Forest: Lionsgate

It is believed throughout the world that when an individual dies a horrific death, his soul manifests a tormented existence hovering between heaven and hell. The Haunted Forest is such a place, where legend has it that an evil spirit, Satinka, plagues the woods. Chasing the legend of the Satinka, a group of friends venture into the forest in hopes of finding any evidence of its existence. One by one, each of them disappear, and they realize there is more truth to the legend than any of them could have imagined. An unspeakable fate awaits all who cross into the haunted forest.

Isolation: First Look

On a dark winter’s night, a pregnant cow screams out in agony on Dan’s Farm. Dan is trying to deliver he calf but there is a problem. Something has gone terribly wrong with the calf inside the cow. And Dan is terrified. Over the next 35 hours we slowly learn the shocking truth of what is happening on the farm; the biotech experiment gone wrong; the awful reality of what has been done to the cattle; and the physical danger that the five people on the farm find themselves in.

Lockout: Lightyear

LOCKOUT is the story of an American man who gets fired when he fails to adapt to certain changes in the company where he’s worked for over ten years. As a result of this, he and his family are forced to move to an old house in rural Wisconsin, where bizarre events will gradually turn their lives into nothing but hell on earth…

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume 11 (RING OF TERROR, THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN, TORMENTED, HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND): Rhino

Laugh, groan, writhe and laugh again with Joel, Mike, Tom Servo and Crow as they deliver jokes and judgment on cinema’s difficult children. Your safe word? There is no safe word. This 4-disc set includes: RING OF TERROR: A medical student must confront his worst fear when he is hazed by a fraternity. THE INDESTRUCTIBLE MAN:A brutal convict seeks revenge on those who wronged him after his executed body is reanimated during a failed scientific experiment. TORMENTED: A soon-to-be married pianist is haunted by his jealous mistress after he chooses not to save her from falling to her death. HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND: Stranded on a mysterious island, seven chorus girls find themselves hunted by their manager, who’s been turned into a werewolf by a radioactive spider.

Penny Dreadful: Cinema Image

This deluxe DVD includes the following: a 30-minute award-winning 35mm short from director Bryan Norton concerning a woman who buys a Manhattan house and discovers that it has something terrifying to tell her. Includes an audio commentary, bloopers, photo gallery, and interview with Betsy Palmer, trailers and an extra short: “Tomorrow’s Bacon.”

This short film has nothing to do with the After Dark flick from last fall and tt’s probably a hell of a lot better too.

Shaolin vs. Evil Dead: Tai Seng

It’s more zombies and vampires as the Master Killer, Gordon Liu returns in this highly anticipated sequel to SHAOLIN VS EVIL DEAD! His fellow Taoist priest Hak has turned into a vampire and he must use all his power to stop Hak and his legion of vampires from bringing eternal darkness to the nation.

Urchin: Vanguard

New York has a secret. Deep in its underground tunnels hides a city of the homeless, called Scum City. In it, a Kid has survived the abuse and torment of the world. When he meets The Old Man, who has come up to Scum City from a kingdom deep within the earth, everything changes.

Visions of Horror: Hart Sharp

Prepare yourself for seven of the most horrifying short films to ever come to DVD. Too sick and too disturbing for the faint of heart, Visions of Horror consists of critically acclaimed gore masterpieces. This collection includes the films MY SKIN, SLUMBER, HOOLIGAN’S VALLEY, CALLOUS SENTIMENT, WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE ZOMBIE KILLERS, TRICK OR TREAT and SCREAM FOR ME.

Who Can Kill a Child? Dark Sky

On a vacation away from their family, Tom and his pregnant wife Evelyn sail to an island off the coast of Spain that seems deserted… until its children emerge from the shadows with the blood of their parents on their hands… and hatred in their hearts for every adult.

Heavily trimmed in it’s original U.S. Release–as ISLAND OF THE DAMMED– Narciso Ibáñez Serrador’s disturbing 1976 thriller arrives on shelves intact for the first time.