Anchor Bay is finally unleashing Adam Green’s Hatchet (review #1, #2) in theaters next Friday and we’ve been informed that the official website has been updated with loads of theater listings, including the infamous Archlight theater in Hollywood! Get your tickets now, tell your friends… then read on for yet ANOTHER positive review!
Review By: Nelson
Score: 4/5 Skulls
Although the cast is riddled with iconic names, I gotta be honest here folks, Tony Todd and Robert Englund both have very small roles, albeit fucking hilarious ones! Todd has one of the most memorable cameos that really wont disappoint but I’m not gonna spoil it here. Buffy fans can rejoice in the fact that ditzy vampire, Harmony (Mercedes McNabb) has enough gratuitous boob shots that one may find themselves bored of them. However, most Buffy fans will be wanting a real version of “Bayou Beavers” in the future.
The story isn’t anything ground shattering but itrquote s an easy watch which is what jacked up my enjoyment meter. Honestly, we aren’t looking for ‘The Third Man’ here. We got a group of college kids at Mardi Gras that are on the prowl for booze n’ boobs when Ben, played by Joel Moore (who actually appeared in an episode of ‘Angel’) has a different idea in mind. Rather than be the typical drunkin’ tard, he would rather to take part in a tour of a local swamp that is supposedly haunted. And so it begins. The tour will inevitably lead them to loving arms of Victor Crowley.
But enough of that though, letrquote s get to WHY we want to watch this in the first place, the kills. If there’s one thing that can be said about “Hatchet” itrquote s that there is plenty of blood. Kane Hodder may (relatively) play the same role as Jason Voorhees in a different getup but thatrquote s not really a strike against him. He plays it well enough that you can alienate Jason from his Crowley persona. There are some pretty brutal scenes including a gripping mouth opening experience that actually made me laugh in disgust. The rest of the deaths are inspired and had me in a constant fit of guilty laughter which is what I was hoping for in this NC-17 film. One of the more brutal deaths involves an electric sander and an innovate use of your garden variety shovel. The staple weapon for any respectable horror flick.
Bottom line, it plays as a typical slasher flick but with more laughs, more gore and more ball crushing brutality.
Formula 101: You got your teenagers, your swamp and an unstoppable pissed off killer. It’s ole’ fashioned horror with 21st century guts.