Tex wasn’t lying when he said this could possibly be the worst DVD release week all year. Coming to DVD tomorrow, September 4, are a rash of terrible films ranging from Anchor Bay’s release of Unholy to Sony’s Wind Chill – not to mention all of the crap Brain Damage spews out every week. Read on for the release list.
Amityville Horror: The Evil Escapes: Allumination FilmWorks
When priests exorcise the Amityville home its evil finds a new residence 3,000 miles away — just as a widow and her three children move in
It’s Amityville 4! They should have subtitled this one “If your thought 3 was bad…” I can’t believe they made like 4 more of these after this one. Who watched those?
Creature of the Night: Brain Damage
A rock star takes desperate measures to keep the public from finding out he’s a werewolf. When a fan finds out his secret, the angst-ridden star kidnaps her and attempts to kill her. Unbeknown to him, the fan is a stalker who came to the city to track him down. Unbeknown to both of them, the werewolf has never killed anyone. The murders are being committed by someone else who is trying to blackmail the star.
Curse of the Wolf: Brain Damage
A young woman, Dakota has finally found a way to “control” her Lycanthrope metamorphosis and desires to live a “normal life”. All might be well if not for Dakota’s “pack”, who wants a different life for Dakota… to live in werewolf immortality and hunt with them forever! Dakota attempts to flee to the city and tries to hide from her “pack” and “family”.
Feral: Brain Damage
The infant daughter of a young married couple disappears just as mutilated animals start materializing on an isolated stretch of rural highway. Believing the two events are the work of a primeval creature that lives in the woods, the distraught parents begin a desperate search that makes them question the boundaries between civility and barbarism.
Knight Chills: Brain Damage
Games don’t kill people, people kill people! John is an avid role player. He has feelings for Brooke, a fellow role player, but when Brooke makes it clear to him that the feelings are far from mutual, John is thrown into despair and takes his own life. For his game master and the rest of the players, this is only the beginning of their nightmare, as a mysterious black knight strikes them down one by one. It is the ultimate adventure as his rivals strive to not only come to grips with what they thought could not be possible, but now must also fight to stay alive. Knight Chills weaves together a story of those accused and those who test fate by playing a harmless game with a deadly reputation.
Murder Game: Lightyear
A group of teenagers invent a game in which one of them is secretly chosen to be a “killer,” while the others remain innocent victims. Armed with prop weapons, the “killer” must eliminate the other players before being found out. To enhance their experience, the teens sneak into a large self-storage warehouse during its closed, late-night hours to hold their game. At first, it’s better than ever. But, things take a shocking turn as one by one, the players begin dying…for real.
This one has got a pretty cool premise…let’s hope it lives up to it.
PLAYROOM introduces us to Max, Jimmy, Norm, Nick and Jason at the age of eighteen. Friends since early childhood, they have bonded deeper than natural brothers. As eighteen-year-old men, we share with them their dreams, loves, and friendships as well as life s hopes and frustrations. We, once again, meet them at age forty and learn how their lives have unfolded as we experience their marriages, strengths and disappointments. Together they are capable of celebrating with each other their emotions in an open and honest fashion. The group is together now on their annual football weekend, this year in Philadelphia. While bonding and enjoying the vibrant nightlife, they become separated only to find a darkness they have never known. It becomes a struggle of life or death where everyone must pay the price.
R.L. Stine’s The Haunting Hour: Don’t Think About It: Universal
For 13-year-old goth girl Cassie, fitting into a new school and neighborhood isn’t easy, but she entertains herself by playing pranks on the “popular” kids and her little brother, Max. As Halloween approaches, Cassie’s search for scares leads her to a mysterious Halloween store and an unusual book called The Evil Thing. When Max begs her to read the book to him, Cassie finally gives in, ignoring the warning “Do Not Read Aloud.” But it’s when they get to the last page of the book and its clear warning about the Evil Thing – “Don’t Think About It” – that the spooky adventure really begins.
All you fanboys that grew up on Goosebumps books (those were after my time) might wanna take a look at this one for nostalgia sake. SAW fans take note…”The Stranger” is played by Tobin Bell.
Resident Evil: Resurrected Edition (2-film special edition): Sony (TEX’S PICK OF THE WEEK)
In RESIDENT EVIL–something rotten is brewing beneath the industrial mecca known as Raccoon City. Unknown to its millions of residents, a huge underground bioengineering facility known as The Hive has accidentally unleashed the deadly and mutating T-virus, killing all of its employees. To contain the leak, the governing supercomputer, Red Queen, has sealed all entrances and exits. Now a team of highly-trained super commandos including Rain, Alice and Matt must race to penetrate The Hive in order to isolate the T-virus before it overwhelms humanity. To do so, they must get past the Red Queen’s deadly defenses, face the flesh-eating undead employees, fight killer mutant dogs and battle The Licker, a genetically mutated savage beast whose strength increases with each of its slain victims.
After narrowly escaping the horrors of the underground Hive facility, Alice is quickly thrust back into a war raging above ground between the living and the Undead in RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE. As the city is locked down under quarantine, Alice joins a small band of elite soldiers, led by Valentine and Carlos, enlisted to rescue the missing daughter of Dr. Ashford, the creator of the mutating T-virus. It’s a heart-pounding race against time as the group faces off against hordes of blood- thirsty zombies, stealthy Lickers, mutant canines and the most sinister foe yet.
This gets my pick of the week because the set has a free movie ticket in it for EXTINCTION. Plus, who ever gets tired of watching Milla Jovovich kicking undead ass! You already own it. So, I guess my stamp of approval won’t cause any surge in sales…like it ever does!
Unholy: Anchor Bay
War breeds horrors, but does it also breed supernatural evil weapons to add to the devastation? A teenage girl’s suicide leads to an investigation into another sinister side of the experiments conducted by the Nazis and the conspiracy to cover them up by the U.S. government.
Anchor Bay continues it’s tradition of employing ex-Buffy the Vampire Slayer stars. This flick has Nicholas “Xander” Brendon.
Werewolf in a Women’s Prison: Phoenix
Set in the fictional third world country of Canpuna, WEREWOLD IN A WOMEN’S PRISON is the story of Sarah, when camping with her boyfriend, is attacked by a werewolf. She wakes up in a corrupt prison only to find out her boyfriend has been torn apart and she is the only suspect. Forced to do things only found in a prison populated only by women it’s only a matter of time until that strange bite starts to take effect.
It’s got Werewolves and Women in Prison…that’s like my dream film…how come no one sent me a screener?
Wind Chill: Sony Pictures
While driving home for Christmas break, two college students find their vehicle broken down on a deserted road where the souls of all who have perished there return to haunt them.
When your psychological horror film is produced by Steven Soderberg and George Clooney and stars an actress who just won the Golden Globe (Emily Blunt) you gotta wonder why no one will open it wide. This one ran for one week on 42 screens. OUCH!!!