Soon to be ?A Theater Full of Ghosts?: Screen Gems turns to shit
Take the money you would have spent at the theater and head out to the local video store and rent John Carpenter?s, The Thing and grab a bag of popcorn. Ghost of Mars is very similar to one of John Carpenters original classics, The Thing, only The Thing takes place on the planet Mars, instead of the planet Earth and keeps you entertained the entire film. I refuse to believe that John Carpenter would even let his name come anywhere near Ghost of Mars, the seemingly low budget, made-for-TV Sci-fi misadventure they called a feature length film. The movie was terrible, so bad that by the middle of the movie, it almost hurt to continue to watch. Ghost of Mars takes place in the distant future on Mars, where Melanie Bradford (Natasha Henstridge) is sent with a crew to pick up James ?Desolation? Williams (Ice Cube), one of the most dangerous convicts known to man. Once they get to Mars, the crew discovers a ghost town. Things unfold as they come across ?ghosts? which possess the bodies of humans and force them to cut themselves and kill anyone around them.
The script was horrible, predictable and included many unnecessary and laughable one liners. The storyline went nowhere by throwing you into mass confusion by included many useless flashbacks and having the actors act so moronic it was pointless for them to continue on their mission. Director John Carpenter ?tries? to explain the events of what happened when the crew was on the way to Mars by using three flashback in a matter of 5 minutes, each flashback within another flashback. The only thing that can be said after sitting through this punishment is ?please retire!?
John Carpenter, a once looked upon as a brilliant film maker, who has brought us such classics as Halloween and In the Mouth of Madness, this movie makes him look like a rookie with a badge to waste 7 million dollars of New Line cinema?s money. He uses few varieties of camera angles and used close-ups not for the purpose of expression and emotion but for the pure need of variety. Do I dare get into special effects? The explosions that make TV dramas seem even more realistic. Instead of getting interesting by showing different shots, panning across the screen or using close-ups here to show gun fire and explosions, almost every shot portrayed a long shot of everyone fighting with an occasional explosion at their feet. When the big explosion hit their feet, it looked as if the person getting hit jumped off a trampoline in the same direction, every time! The props were even a joke and the guns used were very plastic looking and fake. They were shiny silver with orange tops, like something picked out at Toys R Us at the last minute. The icing on the cake was the music. Every time Carpenter showed us the “ghosts” a horrible cheesy heavy metal music played in the background. Kids around us found the music so entertaining that they mocked by head banging and laughing.
What would have thought to have been the saving grace just added to the disappointment as even Ice Cube was terrible. After being in such classics as Friday and Boyz in the Hood, I am surprised Ice Cube got involved in a movie like this. He was given horrible one liners and lacked the fierceness he was supposed to portray by acting ?silly? by over acting. It was a given that Natasha Henstridge would be lousy, given the only good credit to her name is Species which she allowed herself to be embarrassed with a sequel. If this movie doesn’t ruin some careers, I don’t know what will!
If you want to go to the movies for a good laugh, to talk on your cell phone, to talk to your friends or just to get some movie theater popcorn, this is the movie for you. As long as your attention is not on the movie and is on something else, you will have a fantastic time at Ghost of Mars.