Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

Now, I know that there’s a lot of animosity for this film, but The Chalz thinks that it has been misjudged. Sure, there’s not much Jason in this one, but it’s not bad. If you want to see a REAL franchise-ruining film, try Halloween 5. Jason Goes to Hell may not the forte of the series, but it’s very watchable. Now, I must admit that I haven’t seen this movie in a year, and I can’t remember character names as my eidetic friend Junior can. However, I never forget a plot, and since this is a review, I guess I have to sum it all up in a nice little paragraph…so here goes…

The FBI blows Jason to smithereens after the public finally accepts his existence. Reduced to scraps, Jason’s heart takes control of a coroner and begins a hunt for a host of his bloodline, which will allow him to regain his old body (mask and all?). Too bad for the Voorhees boy, his bodies don’t last too long, so he has to hop from host to host in search of the right victim. And if that wasn’t enough, the J-Man has to compete with a badass bounty hunter who knows all his secrets and knows the one way to finally send the troubled youth to that permanent juvenile home called Hell. And all in the middle of this are Jason’s last descendants: his sister (I may be wrong about that), her daughter, her infant granddaughter, and the estranged father of the child.

Will Jason get some Voorhees blood and return to life as the scourge of Camp Crystal Lake? Will the average viewer pick up on references to Evil Dead 2 and A Nightmare on Elm Street? Will The Chalz be the only guy in the world to laugh hysterically when the bounty hunter makes his comment about doughnuts and hotdogs? My lips are sealed…except for that hotdog thing, and that’s funny, no matter what ANYONE thinks!!

Fans can be so fickle. This series has never been made to be taken seriously. I love pointing out plot holes just like the lot of you, but these films are all ABOUT plot holes. Who cares how corny it is for Jason to have a family? Who cares how the bounty hunter found out how to kill Jason? I say the same thing to this that I said about Jason X, which I thoroughly enjoyed: If they had just done another Camp Crystal slasher flick, the diehard fans would complain that they need to try something new. And as it is, the diehard fans are complaining that this film as well as Jason X breaks tradition and a return to the norm is necessary. Are you people ever pleased?!? Nah. I don’t blame you…just watch Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back–they sum it all up(paraphrasing): ‘The internet is a place where people go to bitch about movies that they claim not to care about but obsess and complain about nonetheless because they have no lives.’ Ouch. Sometimes the truth hurts.

Anyways, unless you’re a diehard (or blowhard?) FtT traditionalist, this shouldn’t be such a terribly bad movie for you. You might like it, you might not, but hey–you always have the Internet to speak your mind. God bless the USA, and God bless horror cinema.

Official Score