Slashers

That is it. Never again. This is a warning to all readers of Fangoria magazine. Never, and I repeat never, listen to another article praising a film. I have been burned several times in the past and this will be the final straw. I special ordered The Convent due to it’s glowing review, and then I read for months how great this Fangoria Presents movie will be. I will try and sum up this “movie” if I could.

The plot sounds very promising. The hottest reality show in Japan is called Slashers. They recruit six contestants to enter the game area. They are stalked by 3 serial killers: Chainsaw Charlie, The Preacherman, and Doctor Ripper. Whoever lasts the entire time-limit without being killed is awarded a sum of 12 million dollars. If a contestant kills one of the slashers, the sum will increase by 2 million for each slasher killed. Contestants may use any weapons they find, or make their own. Let the games begin.

Sounds great, right? That’s what I thought. The movie is filmed to be like a live-action videogame/reality show. It’s hard to describe but if you see it you will know what I mean. It looks extremely cheesy. The contestants are your stereotypical victims: Guys: the black jock, the nerd, the mean Latino. Girls: the macho girl, the supermodel, Ms. shy & wimpy. Take a guess who survives. They enter the show, get introduced to the Japanese fans, march past the Slashers cheerleaders with skull pompoms, and enter the elevator that leads them to the arena. They are fitted with neckbraces that ‘zap’ them if they get out of line during the game or interfere with the cameraman.

They start off arguing with each other, and running around aimlessly. The arena is a series of hidden doors, funhouse attractions, halls of mirrors, shacks, dungeons, hallways, wax figures, etc. The slashers jump around and mock them, and call them names. Eventually they start to pick them off one by one, with very cartoon looking violence. There is alot of blood, but it really is on the super fake side (Bad Taste for example). Totally over exaggerated. It’s hard to get into this movie when your sitting there with your jaw dropped amazed at just how stupid you are for watching it. When the Japanese station needs to take a commercial break, everyone must freeze or they will be ‘zapped’ by the neckbrace. When the announcer says over the speaker to resume, the contestants and slashers get back to whatever they were doing (killing included).

This movie has the worst acting you will EVER see. I’m not just talking about the worst acting in a horror movie, I’m talking about the worst acting in ANY MOVIE I have ever seen in my entire life. I am not exaggerating, I am being 100% truthful. The gore was great (the chainsaw intestine drop was cool), but no amount of gore in the world can offset the extremely bad acting and story. You will be amazed. If your a fan of Troma films, this is right up your alley (gore, tits, shitty). If not, you will kick yourself in the ass for renting or buying it. I’ll give it 1 star due to some cool kill scenes, but that’s still being generous. This movie had the makings to be great and it ended up sucking. Damn you Fangoria!.

Official Score