Chopping Mall

Here lies the problem with reviewing cheesy horror movies from the 80′s now- did they rock then? Because most of them really do suck now. My friend and I had a discussion about why some people love movies like Chopping Mall and ‘The Guyver’ and other don’t and the conclusion we came up with is that if you grew up liking the movie, you’ll love it when you grow up. That’s why I thought Jim Wynorski’s ‘Chopping Mall’ ruled, while my friend fell asleep in pure boredom.

Wynorski’s ‘Chopping Mall’ came out in 1986, which was the prime time for great cheesy horror flicks like ‘Fright Night.’ The story is quite simple, Park Plaza Mall just hired its new security force- and they aren’t human. “High tech robots equipped with state-of-the-art security devices have been recruited as the new mechanical “night watchman” for the Park Plaza Mall.” Lightening strikes the building and short circuits these robots causing them to wreak havoc amongst the operators of the robots (so why have robots?) and four couples who are having themselves a party in a mattress store.

The cast is quite interesting, there’s Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov (Eaiting Raouil), Russell Todd (Friday the 13th), Barbra Crampton (Re-Animator, From Beyond) and Tony O’Dell (Karate Kid). Their performances were perfect for a mid-80′s horror pic filled with hilarious lines and really cool kill scenes.

Although the movie only runs 77 minutes long, it’s still loaded with some great kill scenes, like an awesome head exploding scene (they’re just everywhere aren’t they?). The way the kids kill off these robots is also pretty funny, considering these are supposed to be state-of-the-art. Not only that, but the robots have to take elevators and can’t keep up with these young kids. All the better though, because the movie is fun, cheesy and especially idiotic. But seriously, what more do you want from a horror movie from that time?

‘Chopping Mall’ is one of the better DVDs you can pick up from that time period, especially when you can probably get it at Best Buy for only $9.99. But beware, with ‘Chopping Mall,’ shopping can cost you an arm and a leg…

Official Score