All Souls Day: Dia De Los Muertos (V)

Straight off their first horror film House of the Dead comes Mindfire Entertainment’s second horror flick All Souls Day: Dia de los Muertos, which debuted on Sci-Fi this past weekend. The film is being touted for a limited theatrical release later this year, which I can guarantee won’t happen. Although Souls is a step up from the infamous Uwe Boll flick House of the Dead- it’s still so terrible I wanted to walk out (twice) during the movie.

Even though Jeremy Kasten’s movie is god-awful, the story (written by producer Mark Altman) is actually pretty cool. During a trip to Mexico, a couple of kids stumble into a town who celebrate November 1st (the Day of the Dead) a little differently than any one else- they sacrifice someone every year. Caught in the middle of some bizarre events and stranded because their car is destroyed (from an accident) they call for help and their buddies soon arrive for a night of partying. After a sacrifice of one of their friends is diverted, zombies rise from the ground to “literally” visit their ancestors.

Sure this sounds like a fun zombie flick, but the execution is breathtakingly bad. Souls has B-movie written all over it from the editing style to the score to the freshman actors- and one of the redeeming factors of the film was non-existent. Almost Human did a fantastic job on the FX, when actually showcased. For a gory zombie movie, there were plenty of moments were blood was desperately needed to keep me involved.

(Sorry I didn’t bring a notepad, so I forgot their names) Even with his quip little zingers and charming moments the lead character was the only entertaining personality in the movie- he still couldn’t hold the weight of the film over his shoulders. Nothing could carry this movie, not even Johnny Depp… Sure Jeffrey Combs and Danny Trejo play major roles in the film, but they ended up with lobs of cheese dripping from their heads (they didn’t even say ‘I don’t know?’) after reciting some god-awful lines.

I think the highlight of the flick is when one of the lead girls uses her cheerleading skills to get to a car outside of the house the group is trapped in. This segment equals in retardedness to the zombie swordfight scene in House of the Dead. She runs out of the front door, jumps up and swings on the roof cart-wheeling and flipping to the car. The group of kids in the theater in front of me were laughing their heads off throughout the whole movie. Usually I get annoyed but every time they laughed I couldn’t help but bust out and laugh myself.

I leaned over to my friend twice and said, “dude, can we go?” He responded with, “I want to know what happens…” So I guess something must have been OK about it. But on my end my girlfriend was asleep at the 30-minute mark and leaning on my shoulder and I ran out of popcorn and red vines- I was so bored! So I guess my advice would be to leave before it even starts, there’s nothing in this movie worth catching- not even a good kill scene. Or just make sure you bring enough food to entertain yourself.

Official Score