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Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D

“Instead of engaging us with a good plot, Anderson turns Afterlife into a visual and audio showcase. The film is literally an hour and a half music video jam-packed with uninspired Nine Inch Nails riffs and drumbeats.”

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Over the past month I’ve been dogging on Paul W.S. Anderson’s Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D, teasing the first footage that looked like nothing more than a feature-length music video. Heading into the theater, I was under no delusion as to what I was about to watch. I had seen the first three Resident Evil films, and while all were technically bad movies, they all entertained me to some extent. The same can be said about Afterlife, Anderson’s first venture into the world of 3-D that utilized James Cameron’s technology, and showed it off in a major way.

If you’ve seen one Resident Evil flick, you’ve seen ‘em all. In this plot-thin sequel, Alice (Milla Jovovich) is continuing her ever-lasting battle with Umbrella Corp. alongside a few new stereotypical friends. Boris Kodjoe is an ex-basketball star. He can jump super high; I’m not kidding. Wentworth Miller plays Chris Redfield, an untrustworthy ex-military officer whom ends up being totally trustworthy. Then there’s the ex-producer, who’s a total jerk-off and ends up being a bad guy, along with a few other potential zombie victims. They’re all paper thin, one-dimensional characters that have zero back story other than the stereotypes that come with their previous professions. It’s lazy writing and even lazier storytelling. It doesn’t help when the stars deliver their lines like they’d rather be sunbathing (I’m looking at you Ali Larter).

The storytelling has never been a strong suit in the RE films, so I expected at least to see some off-the-wall insane action. Afterlife opens with an amazing Matrix rip-off sequences where Alice (and her clones) have a hallway shootout with a bunch of Umbrella (Agents) employees. It ends with her diving out a window backwards (ala Carrie-Anne Moss) with guns flaring and buildings exploding. While completely unoriginal, Jovovich is so awe-inspiringly beautiful and graceful that she’s like a magnet puling your attention at every moment.

Unfortunately the action is far and few between. Anderson appears to get lost with his new toy (the 3-D technology) and spends a lot of time showing us how cool he can make a shot look by adding depth (the sequence on the beach is absolutely remarkable). And with any new technology, there’s a learning curve. While Anderson aces the majority of the film, there are a few moments where he drops the ball. In the end fight scene (another Matrix theft) where guns are blazing, and the lead villain (or Agent, if you will) is dodging the bullets, the depth is lost and it appears he’s not even moving.

Speaking of the 3-D, a huge applause to Sony Screen Gems and Anderson for utilizing Cameron’s technology, instead of opting for garbage post-conversion. Any horror fan that thinks Piranha 3D looks good, walk out of that garbage and then go directly into Afterlife to witness the awe-inducing nature of real 3-D. In short, Afterlife is STUNNING. Nearly every single frame is a work of art that showcases what the future might hold. But as I stated earlier, Anderson appears to get lost in this, as the flick quickly becomes nothing more than a bunch of cool scenes loosely strung together by an insufficient plot. While Anderson throws homage to (or rips off) Matrix, Aliens and even Dawn of the Dead, he fails to build a story; there’s absolutely nothing at stake, and even less for any of the characters to lose.

Instead of engaging us with a good plot, Anderson turns Afterlife into a visual and audio showcase. The film is literally an hour and a half music video jam-packed with uninspired Nine Inch Nails riffs and drumbeats. It reminded me of the ’80s when you’d hear the exact same song in a movie over and over, only they’d change is ever so slightly (you know, like slow it down, speed it up, or scream it with passion). The worst part about the score was how Anderson highlights it and introduces extremely weird sound cues. During the final fight sequence, the music booms until Anderson drops it completely to let one of the remaining character throw out a cheesy one-liner, and repeats literally 3 or 4 times. It’s an embarrassing mess of a finale that neither engages nor satisfies.

But if I had to highlight the sole problem with Afterlife it would be that it takes itself so f*cking seriously. It’s the fourth film, in 3-D, with no plot, and talentless actors (sans Milla Jovovich) – how can you look in a mirror and say, “This sh*t is for mother-f*cking real!” You can’t! It’s ridiculous! Had Anderson recognized what type of film he was making, injected a bit of fun (and humor) into the final product, and let a talented writer pen the screenplay, Resident Evil: Afterlife might easily have been transformed into one of this year’s must-see films. But as my mother used to say, there are no ifs, ands, or buts.

Horror movie fanatic who co-founded Bloody Disgusting in 2001. Producer on Southbound, V/H/S/2/3/94, SiREN, Under the Bed, and A Horrible Way to Die. Chicago-based. Horror, pizza and basketball connoisseur. Taco Bell daily. Franchise favs: Hellraiser, Child's Play, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Halloween, Scream and Friday the 13th. Horror 365 days a year.

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Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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