Killer Pad (V)

Three naïve boys from Illinois and their neutered dog, Ballsy, pack up their shit and relocate to the big, bad city of Los Angeles, only to find that their new landlord won’t allow pets. Suddenly homeless, the guys hook up with a shady Korean realtor (MAD TV’s Bobby Lee, inexplicably in drag) who sets them up with a “killer pad”, a spacious abode located high in the Hollywood Hills. The wide-eyed halfwits are grateful and enthusiastic, but the house seems to bear a few indicators of possible Satanic activity (other than the “666 Perdition Lane” street address). The temperature has a tendency to get unbearably hot, the house sometimes “smells like eggs”, and they find a pile of bones of sacrificed Turkish dairy goats lying in the basement. Nonplussed at the small portal to hell in the basement floor (“Hey, it’s warm!”), the boys go about exploring their gorgeous new home (depicted with—what else?—a brief montage).

A hot female neighbor drops by the new place and urges the guys to throw a housewarming party. Understandably enthused at the prospect of getting laid, the guys decide to print up some party flyers and embark on a flyer distribution montage. (Yes! another montage!) The party is a raging success, at least until the Satanic force stirring in the basement starts sucking partygoers into toilets or braising them in the hot tub.

KILLER PAD is peppered with zany characters who show up for a scene or two, attempt to squeeze a chuckle out of the material, and then vanish from the plot for 20 minutes, or maybe even forever. A lonely fire marshal tells the guys that the building isn’t “up to code”, but that he could work something out in exchange for a party invite. An old drinking buddy shows up, now a priest, and states his intent to use the party as his final test before fully committing himself to God. The hot neighbor drops by with a couple of her hot, busty friends. That unfunny wankjob Andy Milonakis is on hand to choke the humor out of every scene he’s in. A jittery Joey Lawrence even swings by the party, flaunting a mean Bruce Willis impression. Whoa!

Genre icon Robert England directs this spotty horror/comedy, and the emphasis is surprisingly and decidedly on the comedy. He plays fast and loose with the edits for the first 15 minutes, but he eventually settles down into a nice comedic rhythm that frequently had me laughing out loud. It’s true, the humor rides the entire spectrum, from juvenile all the way to truly witty, and it’s hard to tell if the intention was to include every person’s taste in humor, or simply an tonal inconsistency resulting from inexperience. In either case, your average moviegoer will find plenty to laugh at in KILLER PAD. (When the guys come home to find that the Satanic force has moved all their furniture around, one of them states: “I know what did this. It was a bunch of god damned squatters!” His roommate’s reply: “You think weightlifters did this?”)

The movie features some sparse gore and no nudity that I can remember (despite the “sexual humor including nudity” ratings advisement located on the back of the DVD) but it still functions as a sporadically entertaining comedy surrounding a soft, bland horror-centric theme. It’s kind of like a cross between THE GATE, AMERICAN PIE, and an episode of ENTOURAGE, with AMERICAN PIE serving as the major inspirational ingredient.

 

Official Score