Unearthed (Horrorfest) (V)

Other official review can be read here:

With a trailer cut as good as Matthew Leutwyler’s latest film, you would think there’d be something there, especially at the insanely large budget used to create this catastrophe. UNEARTHED is a disappointment on all levels from the look to the creature FX to the acting and the screenplay. Do I hear the Sci-Fi Channel calling?

After a sinister crash on the highway in a small New Mexican town, people start disappearing and animals and nature begin dying. The Sheriff (Emmanuelle Vaugier) investigates, only to actually witness a killer creature and realizes that the creature is the reason for the disappearances and deaths. After surviving an attack, The Sheriff and others try to survive the creature and being killed.

I was pretty excited for this film, especially with all of the hype on the web, but in the end I think Matthew Leutwyler is nothing but that. After the disappointing DEAD & BREAKFAST, I figured he would have learned something about filmmaking, but apparently there are still plenty of lessons to be learned.

Lesson #1: Never, and I mean NEVER have one characters ask another “So, what exactly are you saying?” To which the reply is a hilariously long explanation on the situation at hand. If the audience can’t figure it out then you’re not doing a good job directing it. Movies are stories told with images, not cheesy dialogue.

Lesson #2: Less is more, which is why Leutwyler showing us his cheese-tacular monster only hurt the film. I was waiting for Godzilla to appear out of the shadows and start fighting it with a bunch of miniature villages around.

Lesson #3: Girls flipping midair after being blown back in an explosion is NOT cool. It happened, I swear it did.

Lesson #4: Think about WHERE you are when you create your characters. It’s pretty funny how they’re in the middle of nowhere and yet there happens to be biologists who know exactly what’s going on. And yes, she’ll explain it to you (more than once!)

Anyways, I’m not here to teach Leutwyler how to write and direct a film (unless of course he wants to pay me) that’s what film school is for, which I wonder if he even attended? This is two strikes… does he even deserve a third before I call him out?

If you thought Mark Altman and Uwe Boll movies were bad just wait until you see this disaster.

Official Score