Blood Oath (V)

Let me save you some time, money and sanity by directing you to the only worthwhile moment in this film. Simply fast-forward to 40:35, watch for about two minutes and voila!

Otherwise, I am sincerely pressed for what to say about this film. Blood Oath is painfully low-budget, it’s a slasher movie that not-so-skillfully melds/rips-off all of the worst elements of the worst films of the Friday the 13th series, it’s got a cabin in the woods (two, actually) and some horny teens with a penchant for scary campfire tales.

You see where I am headed here?

I bet most of you have already formulated a conclusion about the nature of this movie, and I can only nod my head in forlorn agreement. It’s just simply not entertaining, intelligent or particularly well-filmed (and I so earnestly wanted to feel apologetic due to it being an independent production and most likely the fruits of some poor director’s life-savings).

So here’s the synopsis – two over-sexed couples meet in the woods at a cabin for some debauchery. One of the guys tells a scary tale about a couple who make a pact with a witch-person (who just shows up on their doorstep one day), yada-yada-yada, they have female twins who later on these twins are the only survivors of a car crash. But halt! One is horribly disfigured! How original! And then something about retreat to a cabin where the twins reside…or….oh hell, this is as painful for me as it is you, reader. Let’s just say the horny teens go to find this place and everything you know is going to happen, happens.

Thankfully, your friendly neighborhood Bloody-Disgusting reviewer is here to save the day! Lucky you! Oh, and for anyone who might actually get lured in to renting or even buying this in some stupor of insane drunkenness or entire loss of consciousness, the culminating ‘twist’ ending involves a big, floppy cock. I’m talkin’ like, Boogie Nights, or the ‘splicing of film in Fight Club’ phallus here, folks. I wish I would never have seen this moment on film, but alas, I am willing to take a grenade for my fellow BD readers!

There is one insightful line of dialogue, however, spoken by one of the victims (Kevin) when he is urged to tell another one of his scary campfire stories:

“I’m hoping WE don’t become another one of those stories.”

Amen, brotha. A-frikkin-men.

To round out my ‘review,’ here are a few far more interesting things google tells us about the term ‘Blood Oath’:

1. It is the title of an Episode of Star Trek: Deep Space 9, where Quark complains to Odo that a drunken Klingon named Kor is ruining his holosuite and Odo takes the man to a holding cell. Koloth, one of Kor’s friends, comes to release him; however, when he sees Kor is still quite drunk, he tells Odo to keep him. And so on and so forth.

2. There is a farcical television show called ‘Blood Oath of 3 Men & A Baby.’ Read into that as you must.

3. It’s a ceremony which includes two ‘blood brothers’ – referring to one of two things: two males related by birth, or two or more men not related by birth, who swear loyalty to one another. This is written in blood.

4. The Blood-Oath Celebration commemorated the pact formed between the elves and dragons at the end of Du Fyrn Skulblaka. Vastly intriguing.

5. An article on associatedcontent.com related to blood oaths to affirm one’s love, states (by Rose Adams): “ Funny enough, I’ve asked several times if such licking or exchange of blood actually works. I can’t really answer that question, what I do know is the devil is powerful. Give the son of a bitch an inch, he would want to take a mile. People claimed that if a couple reneges on their promise to each other and breaks the oath, heads will roll. Blood oath to me is a glorification of Satan.”

Official Score