Movies
Jonah Hex
“There’s just nothing there; JONAH HEX is soulless.”
Tell me if you’ve heard this one before: An uncatchable terrorist’s plot is uncovered forcing a dumb, useless government to hire a rebel to save day. That’s the entire plot of Warner Bros.’ live-action adaptation of DC Comics’ JONAH HEX, which puts Josh Brolin the title role of the disfigured “anti-hero”.
With a riddling 83-minute runtime, by the end credits it becomes pretty obvious that this summer movie was trimmed down to be a fast-paced, mind-numbing action flick.
The aforementioned edit is realized within the opening moments when the audience is rushed through Jonah Hex’s history with an obnoxious voiceover, and quick flashing comic book clips. I don’t know about you, but I love the first BATMAN and SPIDER-MAN movies because they’re rich in character development and share with us the origins of these beloved icons. JONAH HEX literally butchers the history of Hex by dumping the “reason for revenge” off like it’s completely inconsequential. Hex is tied up, Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) is angry, grrrrr, and thus orders the death of Hex’s family – right in front of him. Then the voiceover tells us the big twist: Hex can talk to dead people! How did he gain this magical gift? Oh, he nearly died and came back with these powers. There you have it, Hex’s entire origin story dumped on your porch step and lit on fire. Stomp on it a bit and you’ll find a steaming turd inside.
The odd lack of character development wasn’t the only issue as problems ranged from poor set design to disastrous CGI. Roles appear and vanish (I’m pretty sure I only saw the incredible Michael Shannon for seconds; more proof of a botched edit). Even the score by heavy metal band Mastodon set me off as it just blared nonsensical sounds in my brain (just wait until the train nearly runs you over and blows out your eardrums).
There’s just nothing there; JONAH HEX is soulless. At best it’s like a fill-in mission on the video game “Red Dead Redemption.” In the end there are only two reasons to see HEX. The first is to beat the summer heat and kill an hour and half before your parents pick you up from the mall/theater. The other is to officially say goodbye to these puppies…
After pulling in $28 million at the worldwide box office this month, director (and star) Dev Patel’s critically acclaimed action-thriller Monkey Man is now available to watch at home.
You can rent Monkey Man for $19.99 or digitally purchase the film for $24.99!
Monkey Man is currently 88% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, with Bloody Disgusting’s head critic Meagan Navarro awarding the film 4.5/5 stars in her review out of SXSW back in March.
Meagan raves, “While the violence onscreen is palpable and painful, it’s not just the exquisite fight choreography and thrilling action set pieces that set Monkey Man apart but also its political consciousness, unique narrative structure, and myth-making scale.”
“While Monkey Man pays tribute to all of the action genre’s greats, from the Indonesian action classics to Korean revenge cinema and even a John Wick joke or two, Dev Patel’s cultural spin and unique narrative structure leave behind all influences in the dust for new terrain,” Meagan’s review continues.
She adds, “Monkey Man presents Dev Patel as a new action hero, a tenacious underdog with a penetrating stare who bites, bludgeons, and stabs his way through bodies to gloriously bloody excess. More excitingly, the film introduces Patel as a strong visionary right out of the gate.”
Inspired by the legend of Hanuman, Monkey Man stars Patel as Kid, an anonymous young man who ekes out a meager living in an underground fight club where, night after night, wearing a gorilla mask, he is beaten bloody by more popular fighters for cash. After years of suppressed rage, Kid discovers a way to infiltrate the enclave of the city’s sinister elite. As his childhood trauma boils over, his mysteriously scarred hands unleash an explosive campaign of retribution to settle the score with the men who took everything from him.
Monkey Man is produced by Jordan Peele’s Monkeypaw Productions.
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