Remember that old story Rob Schneider told Howard Stern about a friend of his meeting with Steven Seagal?

Steven Seagal: I just read the greatest script I’ve ever read in my life.

Friend: Really? Who wrote it?

Steven Seagal: I did.

Well, folks, I think I just watched the greatest film I’ve ever watched in my life.

Sadly, I’m just writing the review.

Sledgehammer, shot on video in 1983, is the story of a poor young boy, locked in a closet so his mom can have an affair. While mom is getting it on, she and her lover are murdered with a…Sledgehammer! Ten years later, a group of young adults (are they teenagers or thirty?) come to stay in the same remote farmhouse for a wild party weekend.

Chugging and crushing Budweiser cans with their impressive, tight polo shirts, feathered mullets and ‘staches, the group starts a food fight – which should lead to a shower scene. Sorry boys, that is cut short. Later, they have a séance, telling the tale of the boy from 10 years ago.

Bad idea.

But, how could they know something still lurks in the house?

What should have been a great getaway turns into a fight for their lives as the young adults get picked off one by one by the mysterious killer.

Writer and director David A. Prior is my new hero. His attention to detail is phenomenal. The excessive, painfully long, slo-mo sequences, matched with either pleasant muzakesque sounds or ominous synthesizers, are impressive and dominate the film. The acting by Ted Prior, Linda McGill and John Eastman alone top other actors in films I’ve reviewed here. And did I mention this movie was shot on video?

There were literally moments where I thought the dvd had started to skip somehow, but no, they were just long drawn out shots. For 1983, and with a budget that had to be next to nothing, the video and special effects are radical. The killer is downright creepy, rivaling Leatherface. The entire mix is something lacking in horror films today. And I LOVE it.

This film is currently reaching crazy cult status thanks to Mondo Tees releasing it on VHS. I recommend it to everyone if you can get your hands on it.

Much like the Power Glove (which actually debuted 6 years later), I love Sledgehammer.

It’s so bad.

10/10 Sledgehammers!