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[Blu-ray Review] ‘Metalstorm’ is Classic Charles Band
Charles Band movies from the ’80s are pretty amazing. There’s something special about the films he directed and produced during that decade, something that is missing from his more modern offerings. The films aren’t perfect, mind you, but they’re almost all a ton of fun and very inventive. 1983’s Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is a wonderful example of this.
Metalstorm is far from a great movie. It’s basically a rip off of Mad Max with a few Star Wars elements tossed in for good measure. The villain of this film, Jared-Syn, is even played by Michael Preston who played one of the main villains in The Road Warrior. So if you couldn’t tell on the surface this is a Mad Max rip off, they went ahead and brought in an actor from that universe to help remind you. Band isn’t exactly subtle.
Jeffrey Byron stars as Dogen, a finder set on seeking out and destroying Jared-Syn, a man with supernatural powers. His search has led him to Lemuria, a post-apocalyptic desert planet with a heavy mining population. The miners are humans and they seem to be at war with a group of mutants known as the “one-eyes.” Jared-Syn is largely instigating this war with hopes of taking over the planet. Dogen’s plan is to stop him.
Along the way, Dogen meets up with a young girl, Dhyana (Kelly Preston), whose father was killed by Baal (David Smith), Jared-Syn’s cyborg son. Wanting revenge for the death of her father, Dhyana forces Dogen to allow her to join him. Unfortunately, she’s quickly captured by Jared-Syn and now Dogen must quickly find Jared-Syn to not only prevent him from taking over the planet but to save Dogen. To assist him, Dogen seeks out a mercenary named Rhodes – Tim Thomerson doing his best Han Solo.
A better way to picture the plot of Metalstorm is to imagine what would happen if Donald Trump became President. The similarities between Trump and Jared-Syn are staggering. They both have dumb kids, they both pray on people in a time of despair, they both attempt to create a race war, and above all else, they only look out for themselves. As an added kicker, they’re both orange. Metalstorm could be viewed as a warning of what could happen.
On a more serious note, Metalstorm represents everything good Charles Band was about back in the day. It’s a low budget rip off of better movies, but it’s done with a lot of fun and heart. For what they lacked in the budget they made up for in creativity – the costume designs are wonderful. What prevents Metalstorm from becoming special is a subpar story. The characters are great but what they do isn’t all that interesting. Especially the way the movie ends. It’s sort of abrupt with no real conclusion. Still, the ride is fun even if the destination ends up being a bit unsatisfying.
The Scream Factory Blu-ray looks great. I was actually surprised at how well the movie looks. The film features some practical effects along with the costumes and everything is really brought to life in this presentation. The film also comes with the option of watching it in 2-D or 3-D. Thus far I’ve only watched it in 2-D but this is absolutely the type of movie that I find to be fun in 3-D. It’s a silly movie that uses 3-D as a gimmick to add to the silliness and that I enjoy. There are a ton of shots in the movie that are obviously there for the 3-D effect.
The special features include a making-of, gallery, trailer, and radio spot. The making-of is just over 40 minutes and is highly informative. It features a ton of interviews from Band, Byron, Thomerson, and a ton more providing interesting stories on the film. The best part though is about Richard Moll and how he was cast for his role.
Moll was offered his role on the condition that he shave his head. He turned the role down because pilot season was approaching and he didn’t want to audition bald. Band decided to offer Moll an extra $500 to shave his head and being the broke struggling actor he was, Moll accepted. About halfway through filming Metalstorm, he landed an audition and he had the makeup team create a wig for him. The makeup team told him the wig would work but that he looks great bald and should audition as such. Moll ended up doing so and was offered the role in a new series but on the condition that he would continue to shave his head for as long as the series would last. Moll readily agreed and the show ended up being Night Court. How amazing is it that Richard Moll was cast as a lead part in one of the most iconic television shows of all time in large part because he shaved his head for an extra $500 to appear in a low budget Charles Band movie?
Metalstorm is a ton of fun. It has its flaws but it gets the job done. If you like old school Charles Band or low budget sci-fi action you’ll enjoy this as well.
Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is now available on Blu-ray from Scream Factory.
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‘Herencia Diabólica’ – 1993’s “Mexican Child’s Play” Finally Has a Blu-ray Release [Review]
Did you know that there is a Child’s Play-inspired film from Mexico? If you didn’t, you can thank Vinegar Syndrome’s new label Degausser Video for making 1993’s Herencia Diabólica available for the masses to watch. Or at least for the VS hardcore fanbase, Chucky completists and anyone else who needs something like this in their lives.
Director Alfredo Salazar, known for his writing connection to the 70s Santo film series, also serves as the writer here to bring us a film seemingly inspired from the Child’s Play franchise. While it has been recently labeled as the “Mexican Child’s Play” (there’s a special feature on the disc with that very title), the killer doll concept is where the comparison should start and end. Despite having some seeds planted by that franchise, Salazar delivers a story that blossoms into something unique.
Tony (Roberto Guinar) receives a letter informing him that his aunt has died, and he has inherited her estate in Mexico. He quits his job and uproots his life in New York with his wife Annie (Holda Ramírez) to relocate south of the border and move into his new crib. Now I know what you’re thinking, what person just quits their job and drags their wife to another country without having reliable monetary income? Tony does, everyone, Tony does.
And what’s the first thing they do once they arrive in Mexico and check out the estate? They hit the bedroom, naturally. We are treated to a sex scene with an erotica song that feels like a knockoff of “Sadness” by Enigma (remember them?). Sounds fun and all, but the scene takes place completely in the dark and we see absolutely nothing. Maybe that’s why the sexy-time tune was pumping, so we could know what was exactly going down.
While Tony goes on a job interview, Annie explores the estate’s grounds in a tedious chore to experience, going room by room, plodding along. But it does lead us to her discovery of our antagonist—the evil clown doll, Payasito! Of all the things in the house, she decides to bring this monstrosity down to show Tony when he gets home. What an exciting way to celebrate (sic)! Then out of nowhere, she spouts off some exposition about rumors that Tony’s aunt dabbled in the dark arts and now we know where our title Diabolical Inheritance (the English translation for Herencia Diabólica) originates. For those of you who keep score for things like that.
Before proceeding with this review, you really need to visualize what Payasito looks like to truly embrace the rest of the film’s shenanigans. While Chucky resembles a cute ginger child, Payasito resembles a small clown that is much larger in stature than Chucky. That’s because Payasito is performed by an actor (Margarito Esparaza) in clown cosplay whenever he’s on the move (like Mannequin 2), and makes some really horrible facial expressions. Chucky dresses in “Good Guys” overalls and a striped shirt, but Payasito wears a new wave Santa hat while sporting a Sgt. Pepper jacket and Peter Pan tights. As you can now tell, he is quite beautiful.
Back to our story, Payasito begins to spook Annie cerebrally until she becomes unnerved to the point of having a complete mental break down, making her easy prey to eliminate. She dies but the unborn child survives, with Tony believing that her death was caused by her mental instability. Fast forward some years later and the couple’s surviving spawn has grown into child Roy (Alan Fernando), who at this point has already bonded with Payasito to help him over the loss of his mother. Dun-dun-duuunnn!
Meanwhile wealthy Tony remains single, still grieving his late wife, until his blonde assistant Doris encourages him to move on with his life and start seeing other people. And by other people, she naturally means herself. As the old Kanye West song lyric goes, “I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger…”, and it seems that she might be until we learn more about her character. Doris is played by the stunning Lorena Hererra who has an extremely extensive resume in Mexico, and she carries most of the film quite well during the feature’s second half. The singer and former Playboy centerfold for their Mexico edition is by far the most recognizable face in the cast.
Doris and Tony do indeed hookup and she moves into La casa de Herencia, where she does her best to impress Roy and lessen his obsession with the doll. There is a scene where they go to a nearby park without Payasito that is filled with famous fairytale figures, such as Pinocchio, Cinderella and King Kong! What, you didn’t know King Kong is a fairytale? Me neither. But Roy continues to be obsessed with Payasito after their trip, much to Doris’ chagrin.
Her actions to separate him from Roy gets Payasito angry, setting up the film’s most memorable scene. We already know that Payasito is a devil doll like Chucky, but now we learn he also has the power to invade people’s dreams like Freddy Krueger! Does Payasito enter the dream world and concoct a creative way to kill Doris in her sleep? No, he harnesses his power to sexually assault her instead. Yes that actually happens. After she awakens, Doris grabs the doll and tosses him into a lake, only to find him waiting for her by the time she gets back to the house. So now we know he also maintains the ability to “transport” like Jason Voorhees too. This doll is the total package!
More insanity happens before we close out the film with the longest victim chase sequence ever. It makes the previously mentioned painful house search scene seem like an eyeblink. It feels like it’s the film’s entire third act, filled with so much padding that you could soundproof an entire three-story house.
So how’s the transfer? Considering it was created using a mix of VHS and film source elements from 1993, they did one heck of a job! The work they put into it is especially noticeable in the dream invasion sequence, with the pulsing multi-colored psychedelic visuals. Super trippy stuff. Even the film’s score provides a pretty chill vibe, during the times when Payasito isn’t on the prowl.
If anything you read has piqued your interest in the very least, you should give it a shot. But if not, it is best to leave this doll on the shelf.
Herencia Diabólica is now available to purchase at VinegarSyndrome.com.
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