Terminator 5
The Toxic Avenger (remake)
Original 1986 plot: This is the story of Melvin, the Tromaville Health Club mop boy, who inadvertently and naively trusts the hedonistic, contemptuous and vain health club members, to the point of accidentally ending up in a vat of toxic waste. The devastating results then have a transmogrification effect, his alter ego is released, and the Toxic Avenger is born, to deadly and comical results. The local mop boy is now the local Superhero, the saviour of corruption, thuggish bullies and indifference. Troma classic with good make-up effects and stunts, a pleasant surprise indeed.
Uh. Arnold Schwarzenegger in Talks to Star in ‘Toxic Avenger’?
Troma is synonymous with crap, albiet some really, really good crap. So how does Troma continue to get big budget remakes of their 80′s classic off the ground? Whomever can break this Da Vinci Code Code gets drinks on me.
First came Mother’s Day, which landed A-list director Darren Lynn Bousman, hot off Saw II, III and IV, now the Toxic Avenger remake is flexing its muscles.
In the first shocking news out of the Cannes market, Variety reports that Arnold Schwarzenegger is in talks to star in the new Toxic Avenger. While he won’t be playing horror icon “Toxie,” he’s in negotiations for another lead role in the reboot of the 1980s cult pic. READ MORE
Metal Spoken Word: Austrian Death Machine “I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, And Your Motorcycle”
Remember that Cannibal Corpse “I Cum Blood” spoken word that I posted a few months ago? Well, there have been another two since then, one of which I’m posting today and one that I’ll post soon (gotta keep you readers entertained, right?). But today’s will be a spoken word rendition of Austrian Death Machine‘s “I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, And Your Motorcycle”. It’s, as can be expected hilarious and great to watch. Check it out below. READ MORE
A Glimpse At The Shelved Script For ‘Terminator 5′
It seems as though Terminator 5 is in purgatory. While some people peg director Justin Lin (Fast Five, the upcoming Fast Six) as being attached, he’s apparently not actively involved anymore and is biding his time with the Fast And The Furious franchise while things get sorted out. The reason for the delay? Arnold Schwarzenegger wants the script to be better than Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines (which by default would make it better than Terminator: Salvation) and that hasn’t happened yet.
But what’s the gist of the shelved take? According to Moviehole, “there was a great concept that linked up to T1 that involved time travel to alternate dimensions. The concept “would’ve centered on an alternate timeline in which Sarah Connor, Kyle Reese lived” (as far as I could gather, that interchanging timeline storyline, that would mean the cast of the original film – Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn could reprise their roles.) “But there’s no movie at the moment, thus no locked-in script.”, we’re reminded again. But that concept does fit with what director Justin Lin told Moviehole shortly after securing the director’s job on “T5″- that he would like to somehow resurrect Sarah Connor.”
Said Lin, “I mean, Sarah Connor is such a big part of the franchise, you know. Yeah, I mean I’ve always been surprised how in part 3 she was just like… It was like one line and she was gone….Yeah, like leukemia and… But I think the great thing about this franchise is you have… You can actually have different canons because you have the element of time travel. So, there’s a way of kind of respecting all the works but also able to create a new time line.”
Sounds like something that would be good in theory and likely horrible in execution. Looper is an excellent time travel movie that is currently in theaters. T5, if it ever arrives, will likely have the dead black heart of the Total Recall remake pumpkins its blood.
[BD Review] Watered Down ‘Total Recall’ Is Utterly Weightless
Columbia Pictures’ Len Wiseman (Underworld) directed Total Recall remake is here. And it’s sort of what it looked like all along. It features fine performances by Colin Farrell (In Bruges, Fright Night), Jessica Biel (The Tall Man) and a surprisingly fun turn by Kate Beckinsale (Underworld, Laurel Canyon). It’s not poorly made, but it gets bogged down too often in weightless CGI and loses sight of its story. It’s also severely watered down and features none of the bite of Paul Verhoeven’s 1990 original.
“The film is big, expensive and boring. It thinks that its spectacle and budget (not to mention its overabundance of lens flares) will convince the audience that they’re having a good time. ‘Total Recall’ is a total nightmare of a remake – a serviceable film that undercuts and devalues its source material. It’s A CG filled, PG13 watering down of Verhoeven’s 1990 film with little to no understanding of what made the original work.”
Click here for the full review. Total Recall is now in theaters. Be sure to write in with your own review here! READ MORE
[Double Dip This!] ‘Total Recall’ Mind-Bending Edition
Total Recall was one of the first DVDs I bought more than a decade ago, and has sat proudly on my shelf since. In the early days of the format, collector sets were insanely expensive – especially for a kid in high school – and Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi/action spectacle was one of the first that was introduced at a reasonable price point (and in a Mars tin no less!). The transfer was great at the time and the DVD was packed with special features, including an unintentionally hilarious commentary that ranks as one of my all-time favorites. READ MORE
Total Recall
When a man goes for virtual vacation memories of the planet Mars, an unexpected and harrowing series of events forces him to go to the planet for real, or does he?
Sexier, Better ‘Total Recall’ Fight: Schwarzenegger Vs. Stone (1990) Or Farrell Vs. Beckinsale (2012)?
When Columbia Pictures releases Len Wiseman’s Total Recall, in theaters August 3, a lot of us will be shocked at how similar it is to Paul Verhoeven’s 1990 adaptation of “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Thus far nothing says otherwise.
The studio just now released a third clip from the film that mirrors a classic fight sequence from the initial sci-fi epic, which begs the following questions: which fight scene is better, and who would you rather have kick your ass?
Below we’ve added both the fight between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sharon Stone in the 1990 version, alongside the scuffle between Colin Farrell and Kate Beckinsale in the reboot. Personally, I’d rather have Beckinsale jumping in my face. You?
In the remake, “Welcome to Rekall, the company that can turn your dreams into real memories. For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) whom he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) – there is no one Quaid can trust, except possibly a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) working for the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy). The line between fantasy and reality gets blurred and the fate of his world hangs in the balance as Quaid discovers his true identity, his true love, and his true fate.” READ MORE
The First [OMFG] Of The San Diego Comic-Con… NECA Unveils DUTCH From ‘Predator’!!!
Updated with the newly unveiled “Big Red Predator” from Predators and yet another “Dutch” action figure from Predator. Geek boner times 100 trillion!
Happy 25th anniversary to Predator, and happy San Diego Comic-Con day to all of you!
While most of the morning/afternoon has been less than inspiring (I want more dammit!), NECA has just blown the lid off the event that’s now open to hundreds of thousands of fans. With the launch of the convention NECA pulled the black cloth off one of the two shrouded figures to reveal a brand spanking new Predator action figure.
Heading deep into the Central American jungle, NECA shares the following look at “Dutch” (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 1987 John McTiernan-directed film) covered in mud and preparing for a “Jungle Duel”. NECA is finally learning that we’d rather have the protagonists than the actual creatures. (I’d trade in ALL of my Alien memorabilia for a Ripley Power Loader set from Aliens.)
In the classic, a team of commandos, on a mission in a Central American jungle, find themselves hunted by an extra-terrestrial warrior. READ MORE
Arnold Schwarzenegger Battles the Supernatural on ‘Black Sunday’
Website The Arnold Fans is reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger could be dabbling in the supernatural once again.
The action star, who once saved the world from the Devil in the 1999 End of Days, is topping Black Sunday. The project is described as “action mixed with sci-fi/fantasy”.
The site reports that Arnold will play an immortal. “I’m a kind of angel,” he said, “I can not currently say more about this film.” Expect this movie, with Arnold raging war against weapons dealers as an immortal instrument of death, to be a cross between Constantine and Commando!
Black Sunday will be directed by Scott Waugh and Mike McCoy. Financed by Bill Block’s QED, the film will begin production April 1 in Belen, New Mexico. READ MORE
The Governator Goes Back To Being The Terminator!
I just got out of Fast Five, so writing up this news somewhat saddens me. I feel like I just watched the Special Olympics of action films, and now I learn that director Justin Lin and Arnold Schwarzenegger are being shopped around to studios as a package deal for more Terminator films. If Skynet really did become self aware last week, perhaps it can stop this deal from going through before it’s too late.
This is great news for Schwarzenegger fans who want a better return to the big screen for him than his five seconds in The Expendables, but bad news for anyone that was hoping someone promising could come in and rescue the series from the deep, dark pit McG left it in two years ago. Lin has been rumored to be in running for quite a while now, and with Fast Five having impressive overseas debuts and being the film most likely to take the number one spot domestically this weekend, his name is probably not going to disappear from the deal unless the sequel unexpectedly tanks.
He could, of course, surprise everyone and make a solid film. But based on the last three Fast And Furious sequels he made, I’m not betting on it.
This deal also has a rather large stipulation: the rights revert back to James Cameron – who directed the first two films – in 2018, at which time they will have to be purchased from him again. That’s a little over six years, which gives the buyer enough time to make at least two films if they already have a game plan going into the deal.
Expect more concrete news about Terminator 5 in the very near future.
Schwarzenegger’s Return Revives ‘Terminator’ Franchise!
Last week Arnold Schwarzenegger tweeted that he was back in action and ready to take on new acting roles. We immediately assembled a mental wish list that consisted mostly of projects we don’t want him to do (come back strong, avoid anything like Junior, Batman & Robin and Jingle all the Way!)
Some exciting news come revving in courtesy of Deadline who report that Universal Pictures is looking to revive James Cameron’s franchise and attach Schwarzenegger to return. The most exciting news is that it’s a potential vehicle (pun totally intended) for Justin Lin, who helmed the last three installments of The Fast and the Furious franchise, including the latest Fast Five, which Universal releases April 29. The plan would be to possibly pair him with Chris Morgan, who aside from Fast Five has credits on big scale Universal films that include the upcoming Keanu Reeves actioner 47 Ronin and Wanted.
This leaves me with a hornets nest of thoughts stinging my brain. First and foremost, I really, really, reallllly don’t want to see a fifth pic in the future. And furthermore, I expect that they return to the roots and ensure it’s a chase film. I know that the mere mention of Terminator evokes the high-budget/CGI response, but seriously, why not bring it down a notch? Lastly, if you’re going to amp up the Terminator, you need to do something badder and cooler than the T-1,000,000 from Universal Studios’ T2 3-D: Battle Across Time attraction.
Talk back!
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Several Years Later, Arnold Schwarzenegger is BACK!
All of the grandparents of the world grab their scooters and head for the theaters whenever a new Clint Eastwood or Jack Nicholson picture is released. Mark my words, our generation will be doing the same for Christian Bale, Tom Cruise, and especially Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wait, did I just say Schwarzenegger? Heck yes I did! He said he’d be back…
This afternoon the star of Predator, Terminator, Total Recall and 400 other incredible action movies (we’ll let Junior slide) announced via Twitter that he’s ready to return to his rightful place in front of the camera.
“Exciting news. My friends at CAA have been asking me for 7 years when they can take offers seriously. Gave them the green light today,” said an excited Schwarzenegger.
Waiting for his return was much like counting down the days until the Olsen twins turned 18…
He most recently appeared in Sylvester Stallone’s The Expendables in a cameo alongside Stallone and Bruce Willis.
This news has set the internet on storm with speculation on what he’ll do next. Shall I suggest a reunion with James Cameron on a film NOT titled Avatar?
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Tales from the Crypt: Season 2 (V)
Two scary! Welcome, fiends. Back for more deadtime stories, hmm? Then settle in with these devious die-monds of die-abolical delight – all 18 uncut (but variously stabbed, electro-volted, haunted, twisted, incarcerated, incarnated, voodoo-ized and even vampirized) episodes from two-riffic Season 2 of Tales from the Crypt! The Cryptkeeper is again your gleefully macabre host for a frightfest of classic E.C. Comics stories involving a for-the-money honey (Demi Moore) hoping for a big, fat inheritance; a cartoonist (Harry Anderson) whose creations come to life (and death); a ventriloquist (Don Rickles) and an idolizing wannabe (Bobcat Goldthwait); and poker players for whom a losing hand could mean exactly that. Ante up for these and more tales. We think you’ll agree they’re absolute monsterpieces.
Terminator 3: Rise Of the Machines
John Connor is now in his 20′s, and a female terminator, called T-X or Terminatrix, is after him. Another T-101 is sent back through time to protect John once again on the verge of the rise of the machines.
Predator
A team of commandos, on a mission in a Central American jungle, find themselves hunted by an extra-terrestrial warrior.
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[BD Caption Contest] Win “Texas Chainsaw 3D” On Blu-ray!!!