Killing time this weekend? Here are fifteen retro reviews for you to check out, slam, or agree with. Some of these films are hidden gems, others are some of the worst I’ve ever seen in my life (ahem, Deadrise). One, in particular, The Antichrist, contains (what I believe to be) the most bizarre scene ever pulled off in horror history. If you’ve seen this Italian version of The Tempter, then you know what I’m talking about. If not, pour some coffee and sit back – perhaps its time to gape open your eyes and see for yourself…
Removal – a psychological knot for you to untie
Deadrise – an exercise in sleep denial
The Traveler – for horror fans, not Kilmer fans
Stanley – he and rattlesnakes hate whitey
The Driller Killer – one of the greatest VHS covers ever
Carny – Lou Diamond Phillips in a gory SyFy schtick
Deranged – the forefather of slasher films
Horrors of War – wow, really?
Danika – Marissa Tomei insane in the membrane
Albino Farm – incentive for film makers that just about anything you shoot can make it to DVD
The Swarm – the film that dethroned disaster movie king Irwin Allen
The Omen III – Sam Neill as The Antichrist
The Maid – a good go at Eastern horror for those who normally don’t delve into such waters
Scourge – like farts? You’ll love Scourge
The Antichrist (The Tempter) – you haven’t seen them all until you’ve seen this one
‘FEAR ITSELF’ Is a hard act to follow if you are series scribe Matt Fraction. After all, the series was a massive hit for publisher Marvel Comics all year long, taking the top spot of the monthly sales charts consistently all Summer. So now that it is all over; what’s next? Enter December 7th’s debut issue of “THE DEFENDERS”. If you remember Marvel Comics released several teaser photos back in August, but little was revealed about what their purpose was. While the details on the series are still vague, the title is one of the most anticipated debuts left for the publisher this year, and if you make the jump you can check out a 5 page preview. Read on for the skinny…
When’s the last time you’ve watched a Lou Diamond Phillips movie? Check out Carny when it next passes by on DVD, or plays the SyFy Channel again. You’ve seen worse monster movies. The surprising payoff here is body parts galore.
Lou plays a Sheriff, in charge of protecting his two horse town from a traveling carnival that has pitched tent in his neck of the woods – when he picks up on the fact that they plan on showing a creature that may be the devil himself. Whats happened is that the carnival owner has gotten his hands on a real freak of nature. A beast in a cage that is thirsty for human blood.
This film may impress you more than you expect, with the acting attempts being serious and dramatically driven – not played with and delivered with tongue in cheek one liners. BUT – don’t put that tongue away. You’re going to need it when they show the creature. Carny worked very well and above average up until they showed the monster in the cage – the Jersey Devil – a Gozer looking, gargoyle like, bad CGI creature that just takes you right out of any reality or tension that was building. If you’re familiar with that SyFy trope going in, there’s not much else more to gripe about.
The good thing – the gore. You will be surprised how much blood and injury gets shown. The “devil” gets loose and runs around town slaughtering innocent victims, and the remnants it leaves behind are disgusting. Severed limbs galore, and heads with hallowed, eaten out faces are spread out about the film well enough to keep you flowing for 85 minutes without boredom. Its really not bad, if you’re in the mood to accept a SyFy style horror film that earns its R, graphic-violence style.
However – like no other movie Ive seen before, this movie drops an entire skull the last second of the tale. Unless I got an incomplete copy? With chaos ensuing, and the town being blown up to shit and bodies lying around everywhere, Sheriff Atlas (Phillips) and the carnival seer Samara (Simone-Elise Gerard) are getting up from the ground, as the Jersey Devil rises behind them onto a car roof, ready to pounce! Our survivors turn, see it, and yell, “RUN!” – as if right in the midst of a heightened climax that is usually called the last act. Fuck that. Our characters split up, the Jersey Devil prepares to attack, and – that’s it. Its one of the most WTF endings Ive ever seen. Its like the copy I watched was edited and the last 5 minutes of the film were cut off. Talk about deflating the balloon. Its still worth a night’s viewing. The acting was over dramatic (which is better than “I cant scare you, so I’m gonna act silly and be a comedy like I’m not trying”), and the gore was its saving grace. Ill dry swallow and say, (dare I…) this one’s a pretty cool go.
A traveling carnival unleashes terror in a small Nebraska town when the main attraction manages to break free, and embarks on a carnivorous rampage across the countryside. The locals paid good money to see the abomination known as the Jersey Devil. When the creature escapes, however, their curiosity quickly turns to terror. As local sheriff Sam Atlas (Lou Diamond Phillips) rounds up a posse to track the vicious man-eater, the town pastor hatches his own plan for killing the monster that tore his son to shreds.