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Machete Kills

The sequel finds the titular ex-federale (Danny Trejo) recruited by the U.S. government to stop a terrorist named Mendez the Madman, who happens to be Mexico’s leading cartel dealer. Mel Gibson is set to co-star as Luther Voz, a cunning arms dealer and death merchant who aims to spread war across the planet by launching a nuclear missile. Heard will play a manipulative assassin code-named Miss San Antonio. Pic co-stars Demian Bichir and Charlie Sheen as the U.S. president.

Official: Danny Trejo returns as ex-Federale agent Machete, who is recruited by the President of the United States (Charlie Sheen) for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man – he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer (Mel Gibson) who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet.

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Scary Movie 5

In the film, snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody (Tisdale), a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra (Ash) are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry (Shannon), gets cut from the production and goes berserk.

Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Paranormal Activity, Mama, Sinister, Evil Dead, Inception, Black Swan, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours.

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‘Scary Movie 5′ Undergoes Additional Photography To Include Their Hilarious ‘Evil Dead’ Joke

Dimension Films’ Scary Movie 5 opens in theaters April 12. They were probably done last year, but then they saw the Evil Dead trailer and had to bo back and shoot this scene. Money well spent? Tell me once you’ve seen it!

Ashley Tisdale is the lead, while it also features Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell, Heather Locklear and Katt Williams.

It’s from the same producer as the third and fourth Scary Movie sequels. In the film from director Malcolm Lee, “Snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody (Tisdale), a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra (Ash) are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry (Shannon), gets cut from the production and goes berserk.

Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours. There’s a better look at the gag inside. READ MORE

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Your Whole Life Has Led Up To This New ‘Scary Movie 5′ Clip!

Dimension Films’ Scary Movie 5 opens in theaters April 12. Hopefully I won’t be there. But here it is, a clip – or outtake, rather – featuring Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan! Wooo!

Ashley Tisdale is the lead, while it also features Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell, Heather Locklear and Katt Williams.

It’s from the same producer as the third and fourth Scary Movie sequels. In the film from director Malcolm Lee, “Snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody (Tisdale), a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra (Ash) are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry (Shannon), gets cut from the production and goes berserk.

Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours. READ MORE

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New ‘Scary Movie 5′ Images Prove The Film To Be On The Very Cutting Edge Of Humor

Complex has a few new images from Dimension Films’ Scary Movie 5, which opens in theaters April 12. They do little to change my mind about seeing the film.

Ashley Tisdale is the lead, while it also features Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell, Heather Locklear and Katt Williams.

It’s from the same producer as the third and fourth Scary Movie sequels. In the film from director Malcolm Lee, “Snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody (Tisdale), a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra (Ash) are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry (Shannon), gets cut from the production and goes berserk.

Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours. READ MORE

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Even Madea Doesn’t Like What She Sees From ‘Scary Movie 5′

Bossip has shared 4 images from Dimension Films’ Scary Movie 5, which opens in theaters April 12. The images, shared inside, don’t really show much other than the film is jam-packed with “hilarious” co-stars. Even Mabel “Madea” Simmons isn’t impressed.

Ashley Tisdale is the lead, while it also features Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell, Heather Locklear and Katt Williams.

It’s from the same producer as the third and fourth Scary Movie sequels. In the film from director Malcolm Lee, “Snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody (Tisdale), a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra (Ash) are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry (Shannon), gets cut from the production and goes berserk.

Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours. READ MORE

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‘Scary Movie 5′, For People Who Need More Honey Boo Boo Jokes In Their Lives

We’ve got two new TV Spots (Full disclosure, only one of them might be new – I can’t tell because I can’t look at anything from this movie for more than 28 seconds) for Dimension Films’ Scary Movie 5, which opens in theaters April 12. It stars Ashley Tisdale, as well as Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell, Heather Locklear and Katt Williams.

I’ve tried to be better about judging these things pre-release, but I just feel like these movies set us back as humans in general. They are the noise we try to drown out at night, they are why we need to meditate and seek solace. They are filling the TMZ sized hole in our souls with temporary glue.

Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Evil Dead and 127 Hours. I’m not sure what the word “reboot” means in the vast ocean of plotlessness that is the Scary Movie franchise, but I’ll let them have it.

Head inside for the spots. READ MORE

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Here’s a TV Spot Featurette For ‘Scary Movie 5′

Below we’ve added a TV Spot featurette for Dimension Films’ Scary Movie 5, which opens in theaters April 12. It stars Ashley Tisdale, as well as Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell, Heather Locklear and Katt Williams.

It’s from the same producer as the third and fourth Scary Movie sequels. In the film from director Malcolm Lee, “Snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody (Tisdale), a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra (Ash) are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry (Shannon), gets cut from the production and goes berserk.

Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours. READ MORE

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Dimension Releases “Super Lame” Version Of ‘Scary Movie 5′ Poster; Pimps Newly Added Spoofs…

The entire internet began piling up on Scary Movie 5 after the incredibly lame new trailer (below) was released last week. According to critics, it looked as if Dimension Films did a bunch of reshoots to cram in spoofs of newer films arriving this year. And it appears they’re correct. A new synopsis promises that you’ll see bad pop culture jokes blended with references to Paranormal Activity, Mama, Sinister, Evil Dead, Inception and Black Swan when it hits theaters on April 12.

But the bizarre story here is that Dimension has just supplied us with a “new” one-sheet, which I’ve personally dubbed the “super friggin’ lame poster.” It’s the exact same one as previously released only all of the “cool”, if you can even call it that, has been removed. Snoop Dog now blows smoke over the creatures face, Charlie Sheen’s hilarious (not really) ghost boner is gone, Katrina Bowden looks less scary, as does Sarah Hyland. Huge fail here, but I guess this was to appease the dreaded MPAA?

Scary Movie 5 is directed by Malcolm Lee who teamed up and worked side by side with comedy director David Zucker. It features pop culture stars Ashley Tisdale, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Snoop Dogg, Katt Williams, Molly Shannon, Terry Crews, Simon Rex, Jerry O’Connell, Sarah Hyland, Katrina Bowden, Tyler Posey, Shad Moss aka Bow Wow, Kate Walsh, Heather Locklear, Mac Miller and Mike Tyson. READ MORE

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Here’s the Official Poster, New Trailer For the Forgotten ‘Scary Movie 5′

Updated with a second trailer: When I saw that actress Ashley Tisdale tweeted out the official one-sheet for Scary Movie 5 (trailer), it literally blew my mind. Why? I legitimately forgot all about this spoofer, especially in the wake of Open Road’s disastrous A Haunted House, one of the most unfunny movies I’ve ever witnessed.

Well, here’s your reminder! Dimension Films’ Scary Movie sequel open in theaters April 12! It stars Tisdale, as well as Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell, Heather Locklear and Katt Williams.

It’s from the same producer as the third and fourth Scary Movie sequels, thus I think it’s fair to expect another laugh-free hour and a half filled with dated pop culture jokes. SMFH.

In the film from director Malcolm Lee, “Snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody (Tisdale), a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra (Ash) are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry (Shannon), gets cut from the production and goes berserk.

Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours. READ MORE

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Sofia Vergara Has the Most Dangerous Breasts In the West On Latest ‘Machete Kills’ Poster!

There are few things that get me excited…for a movie. Seeing “Modern Family” star Sofia Vergara with a machine gun bra is definitely one of them.

Check out this new poster for Machete Kills, courtesy of EW, which shows Vergara as Desdemona, machin bra rockin’ hottie from the Robert Rodriguez-directed Grindhouse sequel.

In Machete Kills, “Danny Trejo returns as ex-Federale agent Machete, who is recruited by the President of the United States for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man – he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet.

In theaters September 13, the film also stars Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Jessica Alba, Demián Bichir, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding, Jr., William Sadler, Marko Zaror and Mel Gibson. READ MORE

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Hi-Res First Look At Heard, Trejo In ‘Machete Kills’!

In theaters September 13 from Open Road, here’s a hi-res look at the first ever image from Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills featuring sexy starlette Amber Heard atop of Danny Trejo as the film’s title character. Michelle Rodriguez, Mel Gibson, Jessica Alba, Demian Bichir, Sofia Vergara, Zoe Saldana, Edward James Olmos, Charlie Sheen, Elise Avellan, Electra Avellan, William Sadler, Lady Gaga, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, and Marko Zaror also star.

In the film, “Danny Trejo returns as ex-Federale agent Machete, who is recruited by the President of the United States (Charlie Sheen) for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man – he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer (Mel Gibson) who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet.

MTV talked to Rodriguez about the sequel, explaining why Lindsay Lohan didn’t return as the gun-toting April, “We thought to bring her back because we like that character, but it didn’t fit into the story.” He also talks about the next film, Machete Kills Again in Space, “[W]e’ll have to see what happens in this one. There are some cliffhangers. It’s gotta end in a very ‘Empire Strikes Back’ way. You gotta want to know what happens to everybody.

Check out that hi-res still inside. READ MORE

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‘Machete Kills’ Finally Gets A Release Date!

Open Road will release Robert Rodriguez’s Machete Kills on September 13th. In addition to Danny Trejo the film stars Lady Gaga, Vanessa Hudgens, Michelle Rodriguez, Mel Gibson, Jessica Alba, Demian Bichir, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara, Zoe Saldana, William Sadler, Edward James Olmos, Charlie Sheen, Elise Avellan, Electra Avellan and Alexa Vega.

The sequel finds the titular ex-federale (Trejo) recruited by the U.S. government to stop a terrorist named Mendez the Madman, who happens to be Mexico’s leading cartel dealer. Gibson is set to co-star as Luther Voz, a cunning arms dealer and death merchant who aims to spread war across the planet by launching a nuclear missile. Heard will play a manipulative assassin code-named Miss San Antonio. Pic co-stars Demian Bichir and Charlie Sheen as the U.S. president. The first film was based on Rodriguez’ faux trailer included in Dimension Films’ 2007 Grindhouse.

If you just recently got pregnant, you might have to wait for DVD.

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The Trailer For ‘Scary Movie 5′ Makes Me Want To See ‘A Haunted House’ Even More

If you recall, the Wayans brothers are the ones who kick started the Scary Movie franchise with their spoof of Scream back in 2000. After two hilarious films, David Zucker took over and turned it into a pop culture bonanza littered with bad fart jokes. With Dimension’s premiere of the Scary Movie 5 trailer, in theaters April 12, it appears to be more of the same, which is why I’m beyond stoked to see Marlon Wayans’ A Haunted House on January 11. Spring 2013 is going to be a battle of the spoof films, yet I already suspect that A Haunted House got it right. What do you say?

In the film, snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed French dance company director Pierre is putting on a new production. Jody (Tisdale), a Caucasian late-20s mother of two and her late-20s African American friend Kendra (Ash) are both vying for the lead in the production. Jody’s extremely controlling former dancer mother is determined that Jody will have the brilliant career that eluded her. The highly skilled mid-30s Diva veteran dancer with the company, Heather Daltry (Shannon), gets cut from the production and goes berserk.

Ashley Tisdale,Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell, Heather Locklear, Katt Williams all star. READ MORE

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Alexa Vega – Or Whomever’s Body This Is – Gets Risque In ‘Machete Kills’!

Robert Rodriguez wrapped Machete Kills over the summer and, I assume, is now deep in post on the project. In addition to Danny Trejo the film stars Lady Gaga, Vanessa Hudgens, Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Mel Gibson, Jessica Alba, Demian Bichir, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara, Zoe Saldana, William Sadler, Edward James Olmos, Charlie Sheen, Elise Avellan and Electra Avellan. Oh and Alexa Vega. Yeah we posted a somewhat frisky pic of her a few months back and now we’ve got an even more… revealing… look at her character. The pic originally comes from Rolling Stone (via Collider).

The sequel finds the titular ex-federale (Trejo) recruited by the U.S. government to stop a terrorist named Mendez the Madman, who happens to be Mexico’s leading cartel dealer. Gibson is set to co-star as Luther Voz, a cunning arms dealer and death merchant who aims to spread war across the planet by launching a nuclear missile. Heard will play a manipulative assassin code-named Miss San Antonio. Pic co-stars Demian Bichir and Charlie Sheen as the U.S. president. The first film was based on Rodriguez’ faux trailer included in Dimension Films’ 2007 Grindhouse. A release date is still forthcoming.

Head inside for the pic! And answer me this, doesn’t it look sort of like Vega’s head has been photoshopped onto someone else’s (amazing) body? Not to say that Vega herself isn’t fit (and it could definitely be her), but there’s something weird about the light here. READ MORE

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[Casting Bites] Spoof Edition: ‘Scary Movie 5′ and ‘The Starving Games’

Maiara Walsh (above) has nabbed the female lead as the spoof version of Jennifer Lawrence’s Katniss Everdeen in The Starving Games, a comedic take on The Hunger Games, says THR. Spoofmeisters Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the duo behind garbage like Date Movie, Meet the Spartans and Vampires Suck, wrote the script and are directing the parody. The script pokes fun of not just the Suzanne Collins book series but also The Avengers, Sherlock Holmes and the finale of the Harry Potter franchise. Walsh will play the lead, a character named Kantmiss Evershot.

Katt Williams (inside) has landed a starring role in Dimension’s Scary Movie 5, shooting for release on April 12, 2013 (against Evil Dead), the site also reports. The actor, rapper and stand-up comedian will join Lindsay Lohan, Mike Tyson, Heather Locklear and Charlie Sheen in the fifth outing of the popular spoof franchise. Kate Walsh, Ashley Tisdale and Lil Duval also co-star. Malcolm Lee is directing Scary Movie 5 from a script penned by David Zucker. The plot involves Three dancers — one veteran performer and two upstarts who are also best friends — vie for the lead in a new production from a snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed director. It will spoof Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours. READ MORE

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Open Road Kills For ‘Machete’ Sequel!

Open Road is getting into the horror genre, hardcore. With Silent Hill: Revelation primed for theaters next weekend, they’ve now got their next sequel on their hands.

The company behind The Grey has acquired U.S. distribution rights to Machete Kills, The Robert Rodriguez-directed sequel that brings back Danny Trejo as the blade-savvy former Mexican Federale, reports Deadline. Check out the first official image inside!

Michelle Rodriguez is back, and Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, Charlie Sheen, Lady Gaga, Antonio Banderas, Jessica Alba, Demian Bichir, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding, Jr., William Sadler, Marko Zaror and Mel Gibson also star. Open Road CEO Tom Ortenberg sealed the deal. Kyle Ward wrote the script based on a story by Marcel Rodriguez and Rodríguez.

This is the second film in what is meant to be a trilogy. Trejo returns as ex-Federale agent who is recruited by the President of the United States for a mission which would be impossible for any mortal man – he must take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet.

The film is expected to have a wide release in 2013. READ MORE

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‘Scary Move 5′ To Face Down ‘Evil Dead’ This Spring

Dimension Films has shifted Scary Movie 5 away from its original April 19th release date. The new plot has it facing down the Evil Dead remake on April 12th. I’m team Evil Dead.

Directed by Malcom Lee, the sequel also stars Ashley Tisdale,Terry Crews, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell and Heather Locklear.

In theaters January 11, the plot involves Three dancers — one veteran performer and two upstarts who are also best friends — vie for the lead in a new production from a snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed director. Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours.

An official Facebook has also been launched. READ MORE

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Two “Wives” Fight In Lame ‘Scary Movie 5′ Still; New Release Date

Dimension Films has provided us with a second still from Scary Movie 5 that depicts Angela “Big Ang” Raiola and Sherée Whitfield who go to blows in what they call “an unforgettable fight scene.” All I’ve seen are two of the most boring images ever released.

Directed by Malcom Lee, the sequel also stars Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Ashley Tisdale,Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell and Heather Locklear.

Now in theaters April 19, the plot involves Three dancers — one veteran performer and two upstarts who are also best friends — vie for the lead in a new production from a snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed director.

Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours.

An official Facebook has also been launched. READ MORE

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[First Look] Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen Wake In ‘Scary Movie 5′ Fright!

Dimension Films has provided us with the first ever look at Scary Movie 5 that depicts “Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen, the ultimate Hollywood hookup, in their outrageous, sexy and hilarious opening scene.” It looks like Lohan made it to set after all…

Directed by Malcom Lee, the sequel also stars Ashley Tisdale,Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Simon Rex, Molly Shannon, Roland Powell and Heather Locklear.

In theaters January 11, the plot involves Three dancers — one veteran performer and two upstarts who are also best friends — vie for the lead in a new production from a snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed director.

Scary Movie 5, which is said to be a reboot of sorts, will spoof: Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours.

An official Facebook has also been launched. READ MORE

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Heather Locklear To Play ‘Black Swan’ Mom In Sure-To-Be-Groundbreaking ‘Scary Movie 5′

Malcolm Lee and Dimension’s Scary Movie 5 is up and filming in Atlanta, Georgia and now Heather Locklear (LAX) has joined the cast as “the mother of a young dancer in a role that is more than inspired by the nightmare mom Barbara Hershey played in ‘Black Swan’.

She joins Ashley Tisdale (“High School Musical”), Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, and Molly Shannon in the film.

The plot involves Three dancers — one veteran performer and two upstarts who are also best friends — vie for the lead in a new production from a snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed director.” The “reboot” will spoof Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours. There’s nothing like telling your jokes ahead of time in the synopsis.

The Wayans Brothers started the franchise for Dimension Films until David Zucker came over and wrote and directed Scary Movie 3 and 4. Zucker is co-writing and producing Scary Movie 5 for an April 19, 2013 release.

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‘Scary Movie 5′ Begins Production With Full Cast, Synopsis

Production has officially started on Malcolm Lee and Dimension’s Scary Movie 5 in Atlanta, Georgia with some familiar names coming back for more fun.

Besides the casting Ashley Tisdale (“High School Musical”), Terry Crews, Marisa Saks, Erica Ash, and Lindsay Lohan, returning to the franchise are Charlie Sheen, Simon Rex, and Molly Shannon, reports BlackFilm. Despite numerous reports, funnyman Kevin Hart is not included in the film, but added to the mix is comedian Roland ‘Lil Duval’ Powell. Anna Faris, who played Cindy Campbell in all of the previous Scary Movie films, will not be along for this ride.

The plot involves Three dancers — one veteran performer and two upstarts who are also best friends — vie for the lead in a new production from a snooty, aloof, imperious, and oversexed director.” The “reboot” will spoof Black Swan, Paranormal Activity, Rise of the Planet of the Apes and 127 Hours.

The Wayans Brothers started the franchise for Dimension Films until David Zucker came over and wrote and directed Scary Movie 3 and 4. Zucker is co-writing and producing Scary Movie 5 for an April 19, 2013 release.

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Samuel Jackson Tortured In ‘Oldboy,’ While ‘Machete Kills Martial Arts Action Star

Marko Zaror (pictured below), an international martial arts action star, just finished filming Machete Kills, the sequel to Robert Rodriguez’s cult favorite Machete, Twitch was the first to learn. Zaror joins an all-star ensemble cast, including Lady Gaga, Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, Sofia Vergara, and Jessica Alba. Zaror, dubbed the Bruce Lee of Latin America, is cast as Zaror (which happens to be his real last name), henchman to Mel Gibson’s villainous character.

In other brief casting news, the LA Times reports that Samuel Jackson (above) and Bruce Hornsby have joined the cast of the English-language remake of Chan-wook Park’s cult favorite Oldboy. Jackson will play the man who is being tortured by the hero (Josh Brolin) in a key revenge scene. Fans of the original will remember the scene as perhaps the most visceral and disturbing of the film. Protagonist Dae-su Oh exacts vengeance on a man who once guarded him by extracting his teeth one-by-one with the claw end of a hammer. The new film, which begins shooting this fall in Louisiana and New York, won’t go with the tooth removal, instead inflicting a different kind of torture, says the mag.

The duo star alongside Josh Brolin, Elizabeth Olsen, Sharlto Copley in the Spike Lee-directed thriller. In the 2003 Korean original, a man gets kidnapped and held in a shabby cell for 15 years without explanation. Suddenly, he’s released and given money, a cell phone and clothes and is set on a path to discover who destroyed his life so he can take revenge. READ MORE

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THR Spoils ‘Scary Movie 5′ Opening In News Title…

Without any regard for the fans, The Hollywood Reporter ruined the opening sequence in Dimension Films’ forthcoming Scary Movie 5 in their headline.

Giving you fair warning, the title reveals that the “Scary Movie 5 Opener Kills Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan.” Thanks, personally I would have enjoyed being surprised.

Sheen and Lohan will plays what is being described by the studio as “the world’s hottest new couple” and be killed in the opening sequence of the movie.

In an homage to Scream, each Scary Movie has thrust a celebrity or two into its opening just to kill them in over-the-top ways. Sheen and Lohan will join Pamela Anderson, Shaq and Dr. Phil, among others, into the pantheon of the dead.

Terry Crews, who is part of the all-star cast of The Expendables, has also joined the production.

Ashley Tisdale and Erica Ash are starring the latest movie, directed by Malcolm Lee and co-written and produced by comedy legend David Zucker. The movie is due to begin shooting September with an eye towards an April 19, 2013 release.