Try and say that five times fast, spectacular Splatterhouse schwag, spectacular Splatiwejfwfiefhwei. I think I just had an aneurism. Well, before I go to the doctor to see what I just did to break my feeble geeky brain, I’m here to give away some spectac, err, fantastic Splatterhouse schwag. Come one, come all! I have t-shirts, shoes, PS3 and Xbox 360 copies of the game and, get this, foldable speakers. You want to know what they do? They fold. It’s a crazy world we live in, right? Back in my day we had to walk fifteen miles uphill in the freezing snow just for a muffin. But damn, those muffins were delicious.
Before you do whatever I ask of you to earn some of this superb schwag you should know we give you free things because we want you to be ours forever. So in a way, accepting gifts from us is essentially the same thing as strapping on a tight leather suit and maybe even a snazzy red ball gag and letting us make you our love slave. So as long as you’re alright with that, why don’t you throw on your gear and come on a little adventure with me? I promise to make it worth your while. READ MORE