Greetings. I am a film critic from the future. The near future. So near it wouldn’t even impress you. Everything’s the same. It’s depressing. As a future film critic, it’s my task to electronically deliver spoiler-filled reviews of awful films from my present to yours with an aim to keep these cinematic atrocities from existing in the first place through the power of premature bad press. These are my chronicles: The Future Movie Reviews.
Len Wiseman‘s (credited, here as Alan Smithee) update of John Carpenter’s They Live is so bad it may start its own fight clubs. Its cockeyed point of view bravely damns all those who disagree to such an extent, I’m tempted to call it high art. But that would be a mistake. This isn’t an example of artistic expression, it’s class warfare. READ MORE