[BD Review] ‘The Asylum Tapes’ is an Exercise in Patience

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

Having to sit through DTV found footage movies is starting to get painful. What stings even more is when one of America’s greatest filmmakers stamps his approval on one of these pieces of crap. Written, directed, and starring Sean Stone, son of revered director Oliver Stone, The Asylum Tapes (aka Greystone Park) is an exercise in patience. In a world blemished with countless Paranormal Activity and [Rec] biters, Sean Stone’s film offers up nothing remotely fresh for the audience to sink its teeth into. Instead, it’s another throwaway for the bargain bin.

The film begins with a dinner party in which Oliver Stone, his son, and others are smoking from a hookah and telling ghost stories. Mr. Stone seems really chill. He recounts a time in which he was in the woods and a female apparition scared the hell out of him. Alex, a friend of Stone’s, is really into ghost and urban legends and he suggests they all go to Greystone Park Psychiatric Hospital to sneak around and try to catch some juicy supernatural goods on camera. Greystone is an actual former psych hospital located in Hanover Township, New Jersey, which I’m vaguely familiar with from growing up in nearby Sussex County. The funniest part is when Oliver Stone apologizes for not being able to go along, like he would ever really consider it.

Staging it at this infamous hospital sounds interesting, but I couldn’t find any info on whether it was actually filmed there – guerilla style or otherwise. So Alex, Sean, and a woman named Antonella venture into Greystone under cloak of night and start snooping around. Sean is apprehensive and ready to bounce after a few minutes of exploration. Alex, on the other hand, is perversely determined to find this ghost, who sports a gas mask and lugs chains around. The trio then endures a series of cliché found-footage scenarios while becoming gradually possessed by the asylum’s former patients – sometimes with unintentionally comical results.

A number of TV ghost-hunting show tropes also run rampant across the screen. There are quick cuts to doll heads, dark corners, flickering lights – it’s like the title sequence of Are You Afraid of the Dark?. The cinematography is miserable and filled with eye-watering shaky cam, inexplicable cuts, and embarrassingly awkward fade-in, fade-out transitions. The film is painfully unoriginal in content and editing. It’s just a bad film. There are no characters to relate to, no engaging relationship between said characters, nothing. It honestly pains me to say considering Sean Stone’s pedigree, but The Asylum Tapes feels like the work of some teenagers who borrowed their dad’s camera.

Oliver Stone did a few horror films in his early years as a filmmaker: 1974’s Seizure and 1981’s The Hand. I haven’t seen either, but maybe they’re just as bad as Sean Stone’s The Asylum Tapes and he just needs time to blossom into a groundbreaking filmmaker. I sincerely hope that’s the case and this film was just a learning experience and minor stain on his future career.

A/V

The Asylum Tapes is presented in 1.77:1 widescreen with 5.1 audio. There’s lots of night-vision, which never looks particularly good. Overall it’s an average looking and sounding film.

Special Features

Alternate ending with additional robed ghouls.

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[BEST & WORST '12] The Worst Posters Of Year!

Posters, when done right, are an art form. Sure, they’re advertisements, but they’re also such a great artistic challenge. Representing the identity of a movie – and getting people in the door – with a single image? That’s tough.

So tough, in fact, that it’s rarely done properly anymore. And look, I know that studio mandates can wreck a poster (floating heads etc…) just as much as a bad artist can – but a wrecked poster is a wrecked poster. This year our most egregious offender was blandness itself, where a fear of alienating the audience by actually being interesting took an even deeper hold than before and subjected us to some truly boring imagery.

Hit the jump to check out some of the year’s worst posters! Click on the banners to check ‘em out in full! READ MORE

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[BEST & WORST '12] Evan Dickson’s List Of The Worst Horror Movies Of 2012!

Writing for a genre site is funny sometimes. Since we keep things more or less related to horror around here, we wind up examining almost every movie that comes out that could be potentially associated with that genre. This means that I end up watching a lot of movies that are so bad many people are just flat-out unaware of their existence. So when I look around to sites that cover every genre – and therefore have a more mainstream cross-section from which to pull their “best” and “worst” lists – I’m always surprised at what stuff is worthy of the “worst” designation. I think to myself, “this guy named ‘Snow White And The Huntsman’ one of the year’s worst movies. That’s as bad as it got for him.” While I’m sure that film is terrible, I’d bet a major organ that it’s far better than Snow White: A Deadly Summer.

Speaking of, 2012 was a year filled to the brim with lazy, cynical horror movies made by people with no love for the genre – people who see horror as a cheap way to make a buck off a dedicated fanbase. This is a list of those movies (and a few that had their hearts in the right place but got mangled along the way) in no particular order. READ MORE

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Greystone Park

n October 2009, the filmmakers went into an abandoned psychiatric hospital to explore the ‘haunted’ institution, famous for its radical treatment of patients with mental illness. Electroshock, insulin therapy, and lobotomies were commonplace. Once inside, the filmmakers quickly discovered that they were not alone; this story is based on their experiences.

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Get Stuck Inside With This Exclusive Clip From ‘Greystone Park’

Greystone Park is the feature directorial debut by Sean Stone (Oliver Stone’s son) which will be available on VOD on September 13 and on DVD on October 16 through Xlrator Media. Now we have an exclusive clip from the film. Entitled “Stuck Inside”, it features two of our protagonists trapped with a caped figure.

Based on true events, the film follows three aspiring filmmakers trying to document unexplainable events in an abandoned insane asylum known as Greystone Park. Urban legend has it that anyone who ventures into the forsaken hospital will suffer the consequences and face their own horrors. The trio stumble across a mysterious realm of escaped patients, ghosts and demonic shadows, as they try to uncover the truth behind Greystone Park.”

Greystone Park stars Sean Stone, Oliver Stone, Alexander Wraith, Antonella Lentini, John Schramm, Monique Zordan and Monique Van Vooren and written by Stone and Wraith. Head inside to give it a look! READ MORE

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13 New Images, Trailer From Insane Asylum Chiller ‘Greystone Park’!

Updated with official trailer.

Greystone Park is the feature directorial debut by Sean Stone (Oliver Stone’s son) which will be available on VOD on September 13 and on DVD on October 16 through Xlrator Media. And now we have 13 new exclusive stills to share with you! You may even see a familiar face pop up!

Based on true events, the film follows three aspiring filmmakers trying to document unexplainable events in an abandoned insane asylum known as Greystone Park. Urban legend has it that anyone who ventures into the forsaken hospital will suffer the consequences and face their own horrors. The trio stumble across a mysterious realm of escaped patients, ghosts and demonic shadows, as they try to uncover the truth behind Greystone Park.”

Greystone Park stars Sean Stone, Oliver Stone, Alexander Wraith, Antonella Lentini, John Schramm, Monique Zordan and Monique Van Vooren and written by Stone and Wraith. Head inside for the new gallery!

READ MORE

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‘Greystone Park’ Haunts DVD and VOD This Fall

Greystone Park is the feature directorial debut by Sean Stone (Oliver Stone’s son) which will be available on VOD on September 13 and on DVD on October 16 through Xlrator Media, we’re told out of the Comic-Con.

Based on true events, the film follows three aspiring filmmakers trying to document unexplainable events in an abandoned insane asylum known as Greystone Park. Urban legend has it that anyone who ventures into the forsaken hospital will suffer the consequences and face their own horrors. The trio stumble across a mysterious realm of escaped patients, ghosts and demonic shadows, as they try to uncover the truth behind Greystone Park.”

Greystone Park stars Sean Stone, Oliver Stone, Alexander Wraith, Antonella Lentini, John Schramm, Monique Zordan and Monique Van Vooren and written by Stone and Wraith. READ MORE