Lullaby

Carl Streator is a solitary widower and a fortyish newspaper reporter who is assigned to do a series of articles on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. In the course of this investigation he discovers an ominous thread: the presence at the death scenes of the anthology Poems and Rhymes Around the World, all opened to the page where there appears an African chant, or “culling song.” This song turns out to be lethal when spoken or even thought in anyone’s direction -? and once it lodges in Streator’s brain he finds himself becoming an involuntary serial killer. So he teams up with a real estate broker, one Helen Hoover Boyle — who specializes in selling haunted (or “distressed”) houses (wonderfully high turnover), and who lost a child to the culling song years before — for a cross-country odyssey to remove all copies of the book from libraries, lest this deadly verbal virus spread and wipe out human life. Accompanying them on this road trip are Helen’s assistant, Mona Sabbat, an exquisitely earnest Wiccan, and her sardonic ecoterrorist boyfriend Oyster, who is running a scam involving fake liability claims and business blackmail. Welcome to the new nuclear family.

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10 Moments In Songs That I Just Love

We all have those moments in songs that just speak to us. You know what I’m talking about, right? It’s that part of the song that you’re blasting in the car with a several of your friends and you make them all shut up so you can share that one special moment with them. Usually, it ends up with everyone staring at you, wondering what the hell you’re so excited about.

You know what? Screw ‘em. You know what’s so special. You know what’s going on. And you’re gonna scroll back to hear that part again, whether they like it or not.

So, join me below as I share 10 Moments In Songs That I Just Love! READ MORE

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Rock Your Child To Sleep With Dream Theater Lullabies

I’m not the biggest fan of children, especially the ones that are so young you can’t even have a somewhat intelligible conversation with them. To me, they’re just poop factories that cry and leech away your time and life. But it turns out that they’re kinda necessary if we want to continue the human race, so I guess we have to suffer, right?

Well, here’s a way to ease your suffering just a bit: how about laying down those little parasites and helping them fall asleep to some Dream Theater? Now, you obviously can’t play the real deal (I would, but I’m a heartless bastard sometimes) but what about lullaby versions? Turns out that’s exactly what the good folks over at Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star have done!

Now on iTunes, you can download a full album of Dream Theater hits that have been rerecorded as lullabies and are surprisingly calming and peaceful. Some of these hits include “These Walls”, “Pull Me Under”, “As I Am”, and more. Just listening to them is making me feel all relaxed and…..zzzzZZZZZzzzz zzzzZZZZzzzz….

Now, parents, do me a favor and tell me, what music do you play to put your kids to sleep? Let me know in the comments! READ MORE