[B-D Review] ‘The Town That Dreaded Sundown’ is a Hugely Entertaining, Atmospheric Thriller

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

The Town That Dreaded Sundown is a hugely entertaining atmospheric thriller saved from the bowels of obscurity by Scream Factory. It plays out more like a police procedural than a horror film (like Zodiac), with moments of terror and misplaced comedy peppered throughout. The film becomes even more interesting when you realize that, holy shit, it really is based on a true story of one of America’s earliest serial killers. Luckily, the new Blu-ray/DVD release from Scream Factory provides plenty of true crime trivia about the actual “Phantom Killer” that paralyzed the twin cities of Texarkana with fear back in 1946, while also giving the film its best presentation ever. READ MORE

[Blu-ray Review] Slasher Fans Should be Doing Backflips for ‘The Burning’

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

In the ’80s, a lot of horny teenage campers got dismembered on screen. The Burning was released in the wake the massive success of Friday the 13th and added its fair share of corpses to the pile. But what makes the victims in The Burning different than those in the majority slasher films is that these kids are pretty damn likable. Usually you can’t wait for the obnoxious teens to get torn up, but the campers at Camp Stonewater are easy to root for. Besides one rapey scumbag, everyone else is pretty cool and the film itself is very entertaining and fun. READ MORE

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‘Metro: Last Light’ Review: Seek Shelter

In the irradiated wasteland that is the world of Metro: Last Light, your chances of getting your milk money stolen by a prostitute are about as good as your being eaten alive by one of the mutated beasts that wander about the surface as well as the labyrinthine tunnels below.

Metro 2033 may very well be one of the most underrated and, sadly, overlooked games of this generation. It’s too bad, because it excelled in areas that many other first person shooters really don’t. Its story was engrossing, it oozed atmosphere, and it had a beautifully realized world brimming with the little details that make good games great. With Last Light, developer 4A Games has decided they’re going to take it all to the next level — without the aid of a tacked on multiplayer, I might add. Let’s find out if they were successful in this endeavor.
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[BD Review] ‘No One Lives’ is Banal

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

No One Lives, the new film from Midnight Meat Train director Ryuhei Kitamura, is a seek-and-destroy formula slasher film that boasts joyously brutal kills and gallons of blood. Unfortunately, it’s crippled by piss-poor dialogue and a lineup of painfully uninteresting characters. Even the enigmatic, efficient killer is a puddle of banality. READ MORE

[BD Review] ‘Naked Lunch’ HAS to be Experienced

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

Sitting down to write a review of the Criterion Collection’s Naked Lunch Blu-ray, I thought about how I’d probably get nothing done if my laptop had a pulsating sphincter. The film, loosely based on the infamous drug-soaked book by William S. Burroughs, may be David Cronenberg’s most unusual and least accessible film, but it also might be one of his best. I’ve seen it a couple times before and re-watching it again, I was completely sucked in by the effects and audaciousness, but I realized it’s nearly impossible to accurately describe in the words of mere mortals. It’s one of those films that have to be experienced – like Holy Mountain or Robocop. READ MORE

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[Blu-ray Review] ‘Dexter: The Seventh Season’ Blu-ray at Least Looks and Sounds Great

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

Since the Trinity Killer arc wrapped up in season 4, Dexter has gotten progressively worse. Before the announcement of the 8th being the final season, it seemed like the show’s goal was to just stay on the air as long as possible, rather than tell the best story possible. Aside from the gruesome Doomsday Killer story, which was at least bonkers enough to be slightly entertaining, there hasn’t been that much interesting stuff going on. READ MORE

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[Blu-ray Review] ‘Texas Chainsaw 3D’ Feels a bit Undercooked

Reviewed by Michael Erb

You’ve got to admit that Leatherface and his franchise have some serious longevity. They’ve survived four movies in the original series, two in the Platinum Dunes reboot franchise, and now they’re back in the newest reboot (and 7th total) movie. After this many films and just as many creative teams bleeding it for money, you might expect Texas Chainsaw (aka Texas Chainsaw 3D) to feel a bit undercooked. You’d be right. READ MORE

[BD Review] ‘Aftershock’ Is Fun… Until It Isn’t

Aftershock is a weird movie in the sense that I honestly don’t know how I feel about it. There’s a lot to like in the film, but I can’t recommend it as a complete work. It has a lot of great components, but it seems oddly intent on sabotaging itself with elements that just don’t belong within its tonal landscape (though I may be taking a bit of a leap by stating that I even know what the intended tone is).

The film, directed by Nicolas Lopez from a script he wrote with Eli Roth and Guillermo Amoedo, begins firmly in Hostel territory, introducing us to the main characters in an extended first act. I can sort of see what they’re going for in these first 40 or so minutes – they obviously want us to invest in these guys. Gringo (Roth) is reeling from a divorce and misses his daughter, rich horndog (Pollo) is out to get laid, and ineffectual Ariel (Ariel Levy) is always on the verge of texting a recent ex who is no good for him.

While the film certainly does a thorough job establishing these characters and the conflicts/dynamics that fuel their relationship, it’s to the detriment of the overall experience. We’re given reasons to root for their survival that should work on paper, but spending so much time with them almost negates it. I’m not sure if the decision was to take a This Is 40 approach to the Hostel formula, but this section of the film plays more like Sideways sans actual human insight. By the time they meet up with their female counterparts Kylie (Lorenza Izzo), Irina (Natasha Yarovenko) and Monica (Andrea Osvárt) we’re ready for some sh*t to start shaking.

And so it does. A massive earthquake strikes Chile and the underground nightclub in which they’e partying is decimated. Soon enough, the gang (more or less) is out on the streets where it becomes evident that humanity itself is the real threat. It’s here that Aftershock really takes off, and boy does it swing for the fences. Lots of blood, lots of tension, lots of batsh*t decisions that pay off admirably, a cable car sequence that had me on the edge of my seat… it’s all good deal of fun. Until it isn’t.

Even during the roller-coaster ride that is the film’s second half, there are some insurmountable tonal miscalculations. The most severe of these is the repeated rape of a young mother at the hands of a local gang. The first time she’s raped goes by fairly quickly; it’s upsetting and unwelcome but you can almost block it out. Then comes the second rape – which is fairly protracted. In fact, the camera lingers on this event for so long I’m not sure what the aim is. Is it suspense? Maybe? One of our heroes is stalking up on the offender after all, and we’re hoping he’ll put an end to it. But, then again, he stalks up so slowly you begin to suspect that the film is actually disregarding his character’s natural motivations in order to showcase the assault at hand.

It comes down to one thing – this moment (along with several others) just isn’t fun. I’m not making any moral judgements on it. I don’t feel any differently about the filmmakers as people. I just don’t want to watch this scene – not in this movie. You can have your gory/fun Irwin Allen inspired romp. You can have a movie that addresses the horrors of sexual assault. I’m just not sure that they can be the same movie. And it’s not just this scene, there are other moments peppered throughout the film that attach themselves like parasites and leech a good deal of the joy out of it.

That’s not to say that there still aren’t things to enjoy in Aftershock, there are. The last shot in particular made me so giddy I almost forgot why I wanted to stop watching the movie entirely just 20 minutes earlier. Aftershock really is that uneven. If they could bottle the feeling I got from the last 30 seconds of this movie I’d be shouting about it from the rooftops. But they didn’t, and something I wanted to love became something I found myself trying to like.

[BD Review] ‘Jacob’ is Admirable but has Zero Focus

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

Sometimes the sincerity and DIY spirit of an indie horror film can make you like it more than you should. Case in point: Texas filmmaker Larry Wade Carrell’s 2011 shocker Jacob, which just dropped on Blu-ray. I can’t help but admire Carrell’s ambition and his obvious passion for the genre. His southern gothic bloodbath was clearly a work of love and for that reason alone, I think a lot of horror fans will enjoy it. However, the film does buckle under some of the trappings of a DIY production – namely poor acting, an unbalanced tone, and languid pacing.

The titular character is a six-foot tall, 400lb bald-headed behemoth who’s a cross between Lenny from Of Mice and Men and Frankenstein’s monster. In saggy overalls and a blank expression, he sulks around town, listening to the voices in his head that tell him to kill cats or whatever’s handy. He’s a horror cliché in OshKosh B’gosh. His stepdad, Otis (Carrell), is the local rabble-rouser. He gets loaded during the day then beats his wife at night. The only family member who connects with Jacob is his little Sissy, who throws tea parties for him and helps cool his growing hatred of Otis. One night, in a drunken whirlwind, Otis kills Sissy, setting off Jacob’s homicidal berserker rage.

Carrell (who, besides Otis, also plays a bumbling police officer) spends a gross amount of time developing characters and presenting trashy small town stereotypes. He seriously overdoes it in these departments. We don’t need a 10-minute scene of Otis getting trashed in a dive bar with his buddy to know he’s a rowdy alcoholic. During all of these lengthy scenes of character “development,” Carrell’s unable to balance the serious and comedic tones. This lack of focus disallows any actual attachment on the audience’s part, so by the time Jacob’s hillbilly slaughter begins (around the 50 minute mark) all there is to care about is how entertaining the kills are.

The film definitely brings the heat in this department. Once Sissy is killed, Jacob transforms into a battering ram – tearing off limbs and gutting redneck shitkickers with superhuman strength and zero regard for finesse. The townsfolk literally take up torches and pitchforks against Jacob. It’s never clearly explained where he got his abnormal strength, but it’s inferred through a series of flashbacks that Jacob’s real father, played by OG Kyle Reese (Michael Biehn), messed around with some Necronomicon book that infused him with an ancient power. See, this film’s all over the goddamn place. There’s even an old crone with cataracts who’s shown later in the film cackling and stroking the book with her bony fingers. Because why the hell not at this point.

Jacob is a mixed bag of comedy, drama, and gore, but it only pulls off the bloody bits successfully. There’s zero focus and too much time is needlessly spent beating us over the head with unwarranted character development. I admire Carrell’s enthusiasm, but his next films will definitely benefit from more clarity.

A/V

Jacob is presented in 1080p in 2.35:1 widescreen with a DTS Master Audio 5.1 surround track and a 2.0 stereo mix. Detail is very fine in, although it does reveal facial makeup imperfections at times – particularly in close-ups on the older officer Carrell plays. You can clearly see where the wrinkly makeup ends and his natural skin begins. It’s awfully distracting. The 5.1 mix sounds terrible because dialogue comes out of every speaker, so when a character is in the front of the screen, his dialogue can be heard behind you. Stick with the 2.0.

Special Features

Two Audio Commentary Tracks: One track features Carrell and the film’s cinematographer, the other features some of the actors.

Deleted and Extended Scenes: Seven minutes of deleted scenes with optional commentary by Carrell.

“The Journey of Jacob: Behind the Scenes”: this ONE HOUR long feature looks at all of the aspects of the production. Features cast and crew interviews and on-set footage.

From Storyboard to Screen: Montage of storyboard to screen comparisons.

Interview at Montreal Comic Con: An interview with the director and some of the cast members at the Canadian premiere.

Screen Test Featurette: Cast members practice one of their scenes.

Trailers

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[Ghosts Of Gaming Past] A Review Of ‘Doom 3 BFG Edition’

Welcome to Ghosts of Gaming Past — here we’ll be reviewing older horror games, classics and non-classics we missed when they were originally released. Have a game you’d like reviewed? Send us an email.

Written by Ally Doig, @allydoig

It changed everything. In 1993 John Carmack and John Romero revolutionized the way we would view games, play games and make games. The rampaging armies of hellspawn couldn’t be confined to the computer screen – they launched a full out assault on the mainstream. Doom was absolutely everywhere and in the years that followed various versions were ported to almost any system with the backbone to run it.
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[Blu-ray Review] ‘Haunting in Connecticut 2′ is Terrible, Does Not Take Place in Georgia

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

I hope you’re sitting down, readers, because I have some bad news. The Haunting in Connecticut 2: Ghosts of Georgia does not take place in Connecticut at all. Nor is it about ghosts named Georgia. It takes place in the state of Georgia, which is often called the “Connecticut of the south,” I think. The good news is that this will inevitably lead to a 50+ film franchise covering all of the states and the commonwealth of Puerto Rico. QVC could even sell a giant, collector’s map of the U.S., like they did when the state quarters came out. That way fans could display their entire collection of The Haunting in Connecticut films, like Ghosts of North Dakota, which is often called the “Connecticut of the Dakotas,” I think. Unfortunately, the idea of this many Haunting films is scarier than anything you’ll find in Ghosts of Georgia. READ MORE

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[DVD Review] ‘Cold Prey II’ Does Not Disappoint

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

In the first Cold Prey, a burly man slaughtered a group of friends in an abandoned hotel in the mountains of southern Norway with a pickaxe. Cold Prey II kicks in with the lone survivor of the group, Jannicke (Ingrid Boldo Berdal), stunned and nearly frozen to death on the side of the road. She’s taken to a nearby hospital and the nightmare finally seems over as Jannicke begins her quiet recovery. Local authorities travel to the scene of the crime and retrieve the bodies of her friends, as well as the killer’s. All of the corpses are brought to the same hospital Jannicke is resting in and needless to say she flips the fuck out when she sees the killer’s body bag. READ MORE

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‘Dead Island: Riptide’ Review: An Extended Vacation

I really enjoyed the original Dead Island. It wasn’t without its flaws, but the four-player co-op, RPG elements, and buckets of gore and viscera that only the zombie genre can deliver more than made up for many of the small problems I had with it. For the bevy of zombie games we’ve seen over the last couple years, none quite deliver the multiplayer sandbox thrills that this series provides.

With Dead Island: Riptide, Techland isn’t looking to push the envelope. This is decidedly more of the same, and while that can most definitely be a good thing for fans of the first game, it also means if you didn’t enjoy the rough-around-the-edges foundation of the original, there’s really nothing new here to lure you in.
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[B-D Review] ‘A Haunted House’ is Impossible to Find Amusing

Reviewed by Mike Ferraro

Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) and Kisha (Essence Atkins) play a couple about to open a new chapter in their relationship when they decide to move in together. Malcolm, of course, decides to turn a camera on and record his new lifestyle with his significant other. However, it is Kisha who seems to feel the presence of something supernatural as soon as she steps foot in the new house.

A Haunted House, written by Rick Alvarez and Marlon Wayans, directed by newcomer Michael Tiddes, makes no attempts to be an original entry in an otherwise dead spoof genre. It’s full of jokes only a failed stand-up comedian could deliver while performing at a lower-end buffet in Vegas. READ MORE

[B-D Review] ‘Curandero: Dawn of the Demon’ is an A-OK Satanic Cult Flick

Reviewed by Mike Ferraro

Eduardo Rodriguez (the upcoming Fright Night 2) seems to be a dual-personality director who is certainly gifted in some areas of filmmaking, but lacks terribly in many others. Curandero: Dawn of the Demon marks his feature-length debut, which tells the story of Carlos (Carlos Gallardo – El Mariachi), a spiritual healer thrust into an investigation of Castaneda, a local Satanic leader/drug lord.

Carlos’ father was a well-known curandero who helped Magdalena (Gizeht Galatea) overcome a possession of sorts during her childhood. Today, she is a federal agent investigating a man who recently escaped jail as if he disappeared. Since the man who once saved her life has died, Carlos respects his father’s legacy enough to help her. READ MORE

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[TV] Are You Watching “Hemlock Grove”? What Do YOU Think?!

Netflix premiered Hemlock Grove,” from producer Eli Roth (who also directed the pilot) today. As is Netflix’s business model, all 13 episodes are now available. I imagine some of you are working your way through the show right now. I haven’t had time to watch it yet (I’m hoping to check out at least a few episodes later today) but I want to know what you think. Is it any good? Also, how do you feel about the entire series becoming available at once? Is this how you want to consume your television?

“Hemlock Grove is a riveting one-hour murder mystery that revolves around the residents of a former Pennsylvania steel town. When 17-year-old Brooke Bluebell is brutally murdered, any of Hemlock’s peculiar inhabitants – or killer creatures – could be suspects. Through the investigation, the town’s seamier side is exposed, revealing nothing is what it seems. Beautiful, terrifying and graphic, Hemlock Grove is unlike anything else in its genre.” From Hostel and Cabin Fever director Eli Roth, the series stars Famke Janssen, Dougray Scott, Bill Skarsgård, Landon Liboiron, Penelope Mitchell and Freya Tingley.

Be sure to write YOUR review here!!! READ MORE

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[DVD Review] ‘The Collection’ Is An Insane Array Of Creative Ways To Kill People

The Collection starts like a music video, glorifying party sluts at angles only an art student would use – all while untiss untiss. Dig it? However, it’s not 1999 anymore. If you go to raves, you deserve to die.

Such is the case in this sequel to 2009’s The Collector. Again directed by Marcus Dunstan, we take a seemingly innocent party atmosphere and turn it into a crazy epic bloodbath.The film then continues in this format, with such mannerisms, so much that the over the top torture porn looks choreographed. And really, the torture porn isn’t really over the top. It’s bareable. The Collection is simply yet another insane array of creative ways to kill people. It’s absolutely ridiculous, but for what it is, it works. READ MORE

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[BD Review] ‘Frankenstein’s Army’ Screens In Amsterdam!

Having just played at the IMAGINE film festival in Amsterdam, Bloody Disgusting’s Netherlands stringer Joris Westerdaal was on hand for the premiere of Richard Raaphorst’s Frankenstein’s Army, whcih will have its U.S. premiere at this month’s Tribeca Film Festival.

In the waning days of World War II, a battalion of Russian soldiers find themselves lost in enemy territory. Stumbling upon a village decimated by an unseen terror, they discover that a mad scientist (Hellboy’s Karel Roden) conducts experiments to fuse flesh and steel, creating an unstoppable army of undead soldiers. Leaderless and faced with dissention amongst their dwindling ranks, they must find the courage to face down an altogether new menace – or die trying.

Check out Joris’ thoughts on the film by reading on. READ MORE

[BD Review] ‘The Battery’ is Damn Good

The Battery written, directed and starring Jeremy Gardner is an emotional 100 minutes and 23 seconds of a zombie film. Like most zombie films, the story revolves around the humans involved. In this case it’s baseball players Ben (Gardner) and Mickey (Adam Cronheim). The two have been on the run from zombies for some time, and are surviving well. While Ben has to kill any of the undead that cross their path, it’s ok, because he is happy to do so as he has Mickey as a companion in the desolate world, which they now live. However, everything changes when the two find a set of walkie talkies. Soon they hear a radio transmission and the voice of a woman, Annie. Mickey becomes obsessed with Annie, which literally leads the friends down a path they shouldn’t travel.

I’ve reviewed a lot of movies for Bloody-Disgusting. I’ve reviewed a lot of bad movies, at that. And I’ve reviewed a lot of movies made on huge budgets, over a long period of time, that are just awful.

Check out these specs:

Shot On: DSLR (Canon 5D Mark ii) with Zeiss Lenses

Edited With: Adobe Premiere on a Windows PC

Budget: $6,000

Shoot Length: 16 days

The Battery is good. It’s damn good. For everything listed above, this movie is outrageously, insanely good. I went into this movie not reading the press kit info and watched it for what it was. Afterwards, I literally clapped and yelled “Brav-f***ing-O!” when I saw the specs. Jeremy Gardner, make more movies.

It isn’t just the above information that makes The Battery good. It’s the attention to detail. Ben and Mickey have been wandering, scavenging, living life the best way they can. Mickey has been longing for that normality they once had. The moment he hears Annie, you see that click inside him. The horrid longing for a woman and he’s hooked. You feel for Mickey in that moment. He just wants what he once had. While he is dreaming of that world, Ben has resigned to their apocalyptic reality. He ensures that Annie is not the gorgeous image inside Mickey’s head.

Mickey’s anguish is perfectly summed up not much later in the film. While taking a nap in the car – and with Ben nowhere around – Mickey is attacked by a female zombie. For a moment he thinks to call for help, but as the zombie girl presses her breasts against the car window, Mickey’s instincts turn on. And you can’t blame him. With Annie’s voice in his head, there is no reason he wouldn’t immediately do what he does. Gardner sets up a completely plausible situation in a completely realistic vision of an apocalyptic world.

Even better, earlier in the film, the two friends find toothbrushes and toothpaste. For a minute we see their ecstasy in the act of simply brushing their teeth. At first I felt the use of music and somewhat montage-like episodes were long running, however, after rethinking it – everything that happens in those long scenes is exactly what survivors would be doing. Whether it be brushing their teeth, or draining the juice from canned chicken to later use for hydration, the little details within The Battery are spot on.

The Battery proves something about the depths of the horror genre. There is very little gore, there is very little action – however the cinematic quality and the emotionally charged atmosphere are sculpted in the right manor to make it an excellent example of what can truly be considered horror. The film is set to premiere with a worldwide digital release in June. I eagerly await its debut. It is deserving of all the positive publicity it will receive.

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[DVD Review] Found Footage ‘The Bay’ Lacks Thrills

The Bay is completely unconventional in the way it tells its tale of an ecological disaster. Through iPhone footage, webcams, surveillance video – you name it – the movie tells the story of Claridge, Maryland and the tainted water that brings on a plague of sorts. Ultimately, it’s just not very scary.

The Bay tries. Directed by Academy Award winner Barry Levinson, who won for Rain Man back in 1988, the film has been compared to the likes of Cloverfield in its style. I personally didn’t like Cloverfield, but it was far more thrilling than The Bay. What holds together this conundrum of footage is the parasitic culprit that is causing boils and death amongst the residents of a Claridge. It’s vile. The effects are there, gross and disturbing – but they aren’t scary. Unsettling, maybe, but not terrifying. READ MORE

[BD Review] ‘Bad Meat’ is Rotten

Bad Meat is just bad. The 2011 movie was originally supposed to be directed by Rob Schmidt (Wrong Turn) back when it was announced in 2007. Then, in 2008, production was halted with the movie about 75% done. After the actors in the movie had received some credibility for their TV roles, the movie resumed production and was finished. Schmidt then pulled an Alan Smithee and slapped the name Lulu Jarmen on the film.

If you actually attempt to watch Bad Meat, you’ll see exactly why.

A group of troubled teens are sent to a boot camp of sorts. However, those running the camp are ridiculous, badly written caricatures – which could work in the right set up. These counselors, however, just make little sense. They’re porking each other left and right, yelling and harassing the kids and there really is no point for anything they do. Speaking of pork, the cook at the camp ends up making a stew with whatever Jeffrey Corbin may have guessed was for dinner (Meatballs reference, folks) and this infected meat of sorts ends up turning the counselors into crazed cannibals.

The story is full of plot holes. It seems as though there may have once been a logical thought behind it, but it must have been lost in the years this film was in limbo. In the end it really has few, if any, redeeming qualities. I could make a list everything wrong with the movie, like how are these people even allowed to be in charge of kids? But really, the time and effort to do so is not worth it.

That being said, if you are into Troma type films, where there is tons of puke and gore, this movie may be up your alley. There are scenes of a camp counselor played by Mark Pellegrino where he is doused in his own spew. There is a scene where one of the ferocious dogs that has eaten the tainted meat is dissected. If you could care less about a story and just want to be grossed out, Bad Meat will deliver. Sort of.

The characters are under developed and unlikeable. The storyline is pointless. The movie just abruptly ends without explanation. Bad Meat is just bad; avoid it at all costs.

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[Ghosts Of Gaming Past] A Review Of ‘Condemned 2: Bloodshot’

Welcome to Ghosts of Gaming Past — here we’ll be reviewing older horror games, classics and non-classics we missed when they were originally released. Have a game you’d like reviewed? Send us an email.

Written by Ally Doig, @allydoig

When Ethan Thomas stares drunkenly into the cracked remains of the latest mirror he’s punched, just for a second, he might see Max Payne scowling right back at him. It turns out that he and Condemned 2: Bloodshot’s liquor soaked lead have a fair bit in common. Both are former – and subsequently disgraced – law enforcement officers caught in a downward spiral of dependence. Binge drinking is one thing, but these guys knock back hallucinatory amounts of the hard stuff.
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[B-D Review] ‘Iron Doors’ is a Well-crafted, Claustrophobic Blast

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

“Trapped in a box” movies are inherently fun. Even if the characters aren’t all that interesting, it’s still entertaining to try to figure a way out before they can. Then we feel stupid when that “oh shit” curveball hits us in the face. Sometimes the ending doesn’t satisfy (I love Cube but hate the end), but at least the ride there was nice. One recent example that a lot of people seemed to like was Buried, which I thought was a 90-minute wank-a-thon. Being trapped in a coffin with Ryan Reynolds for an entire movie is not cool.

Stephen Manuel’s Iron Doors is a thoroughly enjoyable addition to the genre. Like most of its kind, the premise is simple: A man (Axel Wedekind) wakes up alone in a room. The only way out seems to be a huge, iron vault door. Inside the room is a dead rat infested with maggots, a locker, a blowtorch, and a chisel and hammer. He has no idea how he got there – his first impression is that it’s his work buddies playing an elaborate prank on him. The last thing he remembers is going out drinking with his boys – then he blacked out and woke up in this room. I’ve been there, bro.

We spend every second with Axel as he curses (a lot), drinks urine, eats maggots, and gradually deteriorates physically and mentally. Luckily, nearly every second is compelling and Axel is a strong enough actor to carry the entire thing. At first he comes off as some kind of douchebag investment banker type, but as the movie progressed I grew to like him. He talks to himself a lot and through this continuous one-way conversation he reveals himself to be a regular, foul-mouthed everyman.

A lot of focus is put on the whole piss drinking and maggot eating parts. It’s gross the first time Axel does it, then every other time is just plain gratuitous. It happens maybe three times in the movie and forces the suspense to come to a screeching halt. The entire film takes place in essentially three connected rooms. The filmmakers made the most of it – filming from every angle you can imagine and using minimal lighting with precision.

The mystery of why he’s there isn’t revealed until the final seconds of the film. Even then, it’s not really explained. It’s an ambiguous shot that leaves it up to the audience to fill in the blanks. I found the ending pretty damn weak and somewhat corny. Axel, who by the end is on the cusp of dying of starvation, definitely earned this ending, but I felt like the audience deserved something meatier.

But like I said earlier, endings are allowed to suck in this subgenre as long as the ride there was fun. Iron Doors is definitely an enjoyable, psychologically thrilling trip. Axel Wedekind is a capable actor, so you won’t mind being locked in a room with him for 90 minutes. Although the ending probably won’t blow anyone’s mind, it’s a well-crafted, claustrophobic blast up to that point.

A/V

Iron Doors is presented by Jing Films in 1.78:1 widescreen. It looks fine for a DVD; the only problem was that the audio didn’t match up. I tried both audio tracks and neither did, which was horribly distracting. I saw online that other people had this problem, so someone made a major goof at the factory.

Special Features

Just a trailer.

[B-D Review] ‘Badlands’ is Pretty Flawless in its Execution

Reviewed by Patrick Cooper

With the exception of Blood Simple and Mean Streets, few debut features in modern film are as impressive as Terrence Malick’s Badlands. Released in 1973 while the Vietnam War was still raging, Badlands is a visually stunning, amoral meditation on loneliness, media image, and a bunch of that transcendent nature-related philosophy junk that Malick compulsively puts in his pictures. While the other two debuts I mentioned are a little rough around the edges, Malick’s Badlands is pretty flawless in its execution. And most people don’t touch on this, but I also think it’s hysterical. There’s no doubt the enigmatic Malick had a clear vision and now, thanks to the Criterion Collection, you can absorb yourself in this hilarious Montana nightmare in brilliant HD.

The story is based on the real-life murder spree committed by James Dean-wannabe Charles Starkweather and his adolescent girlfriend Caril Ann Fugate in 1958. Martin Sheen and Sissy Spacek (who had never had starring roles before) play Kit and Holly. When we first meet Kit, he’s collecting garbage, offering a fellow garbage man $1 if he’ll eat a dead dog. Then he tries selling some old boots he found in the trash for $1. It’s clear from the get-go that Kit’s a charlatan who’s constantly trying to convince everyone around him how smart he is.

Like some kind of fairy tale encounter, he meets teenage Holly as she’s practicing her baton outside. It takes little convincing to have her wrapped around his finger. She’s instantly charmed on her ass by this strikingly handsome young man who seems so knowledgeable about the world. Through her narration, Holly spends most of the film trying to figure out what’s going on in Kit’s head – including why he pursued her when he could “have any girl he wanted.” After shooting Holly’s dad, played by the late, great Warren Oates (Cockfighter, Race With the Devil), she accompanies Kit on a murder spree through the badlands of Montana.

The killings, of which there are many, are presented in a dry, remorseless manner. Malick provides no explanation for Kit’s homicidal tendencies – although Kit does exhibit some of the characteristics of a textbook psychopath, such as irresistible charm and zero conscious. There’s an obvious element of celebrity involved too. After he’s caught, he relishes the attention paid to him by the police. He gleefully hands out his zippo and comb as souvenirs and lights up when a cop says he resembles James Dean. I don’t think Kit’s a total fame-whore, but once he realizes the public is fascinated by him, he really starts hamming it up.

Badlands is easily Malick’s most hilarious film. I can’t believe more critics don’t talk about how funny this damn movie is. Martin Sheen’s Kit provides loads of eccentric humor – from emotionlessly shooting at a football to building his own rock monument while waiting for the cops to catch up with him, this guy’s a real card. One of my favorite scenes is when Kit and Holly are fleeing a rich guy’s house where they were shacked up. As they’re running, Kit won’t shutup about how much effort it must be to care of such a big lawn. If Malick’s visual philosophizing doesn’t do anything for you (or if you found Tree of Life a major snooze-fest), just read Badlands as a comedy and I promise you’ll have a good time.

Criterion drops about six or seven releases a month and they aint cheap. If you only buy a few every year, make Badlands one of them.

* One of Bruce Springsteen’s greatest songs, “Nebraska”, is heavily based on Badlands. This is important, I swear.

A/V

The Criterion Collection presents Badlands in a beautifully restored 4K digital 1080p transfer, in its original aspect ratio of 1.85:1 with uncompressed monaural audio. The transfer looks like your standard Criterion Blu-ray, meaning pretty damn flawless. Dirt, scratches, and other imperfections are obsolete and the amount of detail is stunning. The scenes of nature sound clear and crisp, as does the rest of the film. The car chase near the end sounds particularly strong.

Special Features

“Making Badlands”: This 42-minute documentary features Martin Sheen, Sissy Spacek, and art director Jack Fisk. Spacek discusses her acting roots and how her and Malick’s shared experiences growing up in 1950s Texas helped get her cast. Sheen presents some really heavy insight. When he got the call from Malick, it was nearly a religious experience for him. He explains how it was the first time a director “saw something” in him. Fisk details how he researched the film and the philosophical questions presented in Malick’s work. Like most of Criterion’s original documentaries, this one’s totally worth a watch.

Interview with executive producer Edward Pressman: Pressman, who’s produced some seriously kick ass films (Sisters, Conan, Phantom of the Paradise), discusses how he used his family’s toy business as a credit line to produce Badlands, his first thoughts on the script, and basically what a goddamn leap of faith producing this film was.

Interview with associate editor Billy Weber: During this 20-minute interview with editor Billy Weber, he talks about growing up during the Starkweather murder spree, what he believes Malick wanted to understand about the real killer, and how difficult the 15-month editing process was. To put it into perspective: Badlands was 60,000 feet of film, Days of Heaven was 120,000 feet, and Thin Red Line was over a million. Pressman edited them all – what a soldier.

1993 episode of American Justice about Charles Starkweather: This 20-minute episode of the real-crime TV program profiles Starkweather, placing the murders in the context of the time. The real guy was way more ruthless than Kit – he stabbed Caril Fugate’s two-year-old sister (which he claimed was self-defense), as well as her mother. He also sexually assaulted a young girl and killed two dogs. Not cool.

Trailer