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The Horrifying Truth About Comcast!!

Yeah yeah yeah, you may say this “isn’t horror.” You’re wrong. Nothing is scarier than the vertical integration of corporations who don’t have your best interests at heart. This Funny Or Die video sums up that attitude perfectly.

You can yell, “but it’s just Comcast!” Go ahead. It doesn’t mean this video doesn’t apply to every single corporation on the planet. Fewer and fewer people are at the controls of our society, and that’s not a good thing.

Sometimes the truth is the scariest thing of all.

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Gotta Burn 'Em All: Introducing Nightmare Pikachu

In news that is shit-out-your-spine terrifying to look at, one horrible individual has decided to gift the Internet with this, a nightmare creature that looks like the unwanted offspring of a Pikachu and a Caterpie. If there was genetic splicing in the Pokemon series, I’m sure it’d result in something like this.

If you’re brave enough, you can see it in all its horrifying glory after the jump. Just don’t look at it too long, lest you give it time to devour your soul.
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Edgar Wright Working On A "Scary" Horror Movie With Mark Protosevich!

I really loved The World’s End (as you can probably tell from my 9/10 review) and as excited as I am for Edgar Wright to take on Ant Man, I’m more of a casual Marvel fan. Horror aside, I’m more of a fan of writers and directors than I am of any specific genre. Shane Black and Joss Whedon ensured that I loved Iron Man 3 and Avengers, and I could take or leave most of the prior stuff (though I’m totally in the bag for James Gunn’s Guardians Of The Galaxy). That probably leaves me more curious about what Wright is up to AFTER Ant Man more than anything.

So how excited am I to see one my favorite genres collide with a director whose work transcends genre? Very. Shaun Of The Dead and The World’s End both had strong horror and sci-fi elements (and they’re both amazing), but they’re not really the stuff nightmares are made of. But Oldboy and I Am Legend writer Mark Protosevich might be working to add something scarier to Wright’s filmography. He certainly drops a few hints in this great interview with Jeremy Smith over at AICN where he discusses a project he’s working on with Wright by saying, “The one thing I’ll say is that Edgar’s movies have a certain tone, and this one might be a little unexpected because the main thing we’re going for is scary. Smart and scary.” Smith clarifies that this means a film that’s “not-winking” at its audience and Protosevich replies, “Right. The real deal.

You may have noticed that the reviews coming out for Oldboy today are mixed-to-negative (mine being mixed) and you may be tempted to jump to conclusions about Protosevich. Don’t. He’s a great writer whose work hasn’t yet been fully realized onscreen. Remember what a lot of people thought about Francis Lawrence before Catching Fire? Same thing here. I’ll refer you to Smith’s interview again so you can educate yourselves before heading into the comments section.

If this project ever gets made, I’d guess that it won’t be out until 2016 at the earliest. Still, it’s nice to have stuff to look forward to.

8 Terrifying Places Horror Games Should Visit

Unless you’re new to the world you’re probably fully aware of just how insanely fucked up this lovely place we all call home really is. Murder, war, poverty and Justin Bieber are only a few of the things that plague us every single day and the sad thing about it is there’s a very good chance everything will continue to get far worse before they get any better (or before a meteor or nuclear holocaust wipes us all out).

1 8 Terrifying Places Horror Games Should Visit

I feel we should celebrate this horrifying revelation by naming off eight of the most shit-out-your-spine terrifying places in the world that horror games should visit. If anything I hope this list will make the place you live in a little more bearable. After scouring this vast and knowledgeable bundle of tubes we call the Internet I feel I’ve compiled a satisfyingly terrifying list of locations that makes this world a scary goddamned place to live. So if you think you can stomach it, I suggest you head past the jump so you can better realize just how twisted and depraved this world can get. READ MORE

13 Days of Horror, Day 4: The Four Scariest Kids in Gaming

Have you ever locked eyes with a child and instantly decided that kid is the Devil’s spawn? The kid stares back at you with its wee beady eyes, soulless and black, as if it’s peering deep into your soul? I’m sure I’m not the only one that looks at stranger’s offspring this way, but I’ll admit my opinion on the mini-people is a little skewed.

13DaysBanner 13 Days of Horror, Day 4: The Four Scariest Kids in Gaming

But whether you like children or not, kids in video games are usually a twisted bunch. Can you name a single normal child in a game? I can’t. They all seem to have ulterior motives, they may act happy and innocent but they’re really just making sure you let your guard down so they can quickly strike you down and consume your soul. So yeah, here are some kids in video games that freak me the fuck out. Enjoy. READ MORE