Movies
Lost Boys The Thirst (V)
“While there is a lot to like about this sequel, it adds nothing new to the genre. The Thirst is a basic horror comedy vampire procedural.”
The Frog brothers are back together for the first time since 1987 in the third installment of the Lost Boys franchise. After the abortion of a film that is The Tribe, many horror fans (myself included) were decidedly cautious about The Thirst. Is it even worth another go? Should fans stick with the original? Pretend the sequels weren’t made? Well, surprisingly The Thirst is a lot of bloody goofy fun.
Edgar Frog is down on his luck. With most of his close friends dead or turned, his rent past due, and little to no discernable skills outside of a grufftastic voice, it’s safe to say the Edgar has seen better days. Enter Stephanie Meyer, err, Gwen Lieber, a writer of crappy romantic vampire novels, whose brother was kidnapped by real vampires. The kind that don’t sparkle. Gwen recruits the old vampire hunter and a rag-tag crew including a douchebag reality actor and a comic book clerk to help save her little brother.
While the vampires aren’t as worthless as they are in Twilight books, they are by no means frightening or badass. The lead vampire is a big-time DJ who is still into raves. In fact, it’s his big rave in San Cazador that serves as climax of the film. Hey, 1999 called and it wants it glow sticks back. The vampires are also into skydiving, some of them do this while wearing 5-inch heels. As grandpa would say (if he was still around), “If there’s one thing I hate about San Cazador, it’s all the damn skydiving vampires.”
The best moments come from Feldman’s over-the-top cheesy dialogue. The film is presented with much less gravitas than the prior sequel. And that’s a good thing. Feldman’s character in the first film was mostly comic relief. It only makes sense that the film should have plenty of fun with him in the lead role. And the Feldster does deliver several great lines. One of my personal favorites being, “Vampires are like ten times stronger than grizzly bears.” His comedic timing is spot on and his random grunts are sure to please.
If you are looking for gore and boobs, The Thirst delivers both in spades. Plenty of blood flows, squirts, and oozes all over the screen. The deaths are pretty decent and feature everything from live heart removal to weird spikey grenade thing. Yes, Edgar brings plenty of new “toys” to play with at the vampire killing party. And as mentioned, several sets of breasts are freed from the tyranny of the shirt.
While there is a lot to like about this sequel, it adds nothing new to the genre. The Thirst is a basic horror comedy vampire procedural. Some of the acting is lame as well as almost the entire plot. But, unlike the abomination that was The Tribe, this film recaptures some of what made the The Lost Boys such an enjoyable watch. Not a whole lot of it, mind you, but just enough to make it worthy of a view.
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Movies
R-Rated ‘The X-Files: I Want to Believe’ Director’s Cut Gets New Title and Streaming Premiere Date
After a slight delay, Disney has finally announced a new streaming date for the R-Rated director’s cut of The X-Files: I Want to Believe. According to Gizmodo, it’ll also come with a new title.
The X-Files: I Want to Believe Vrach Frankenshteyn begins streaming on Hulu on August 14.
The new cut was first teased in an interview with director Chris Carter on the Fail Better With David Duchovny podcast from last year, where he teased a much scarier movie he intended.
“Now I have a chance to go back and make the scary movie that I always intended to make,” Carter explained last year. “It’s not just doing a Director’s Cut to do a Director’s Cut. It’s really kind of bringing to life something that for me was on the page and never got to the screen.“
The director’s cut of the film was initially set to arrive on Disney+ in June, but quietly disappeared from the schedule without a word. Polygon reported the delay was “due to some last-minute adjustments being made to the film.”
The release’s new “Vrach Frankenshteyn” title certainly suggests those adjustments have been made, likely referring to a Frankensteining of bonus footage.
In the film, Mulder (David Duchovny) and Scully (Gillian Anderson) have been out of the FBI for several years, with Mulder living in isolation and Scully having become a doctor at a Catholic hospital, where she has formed a bond with a critically ill child patient.
When an FBI agent is mysteriously kidnapped, and a former Catholic priest who has been convicted of pedophilia claims to be experiencing psychic visions of the endangered agent, Scully is asked to bring Mulder back to the bureau to consult on the case because of his work with psychics.
The brand new R-rated cut will “faithfully restore the filmmaker’s original vision.”
Look for it on Hulu next month.