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Ask Beefcake: Advice For Forlorn Lovers Volume 4

Published

15 years ago

on

Alright Bloody-Disgusting readers, check it out. It’s been a while since GWAR bassist Beefcake The Mighty has been able to grace us with his knowledge and answer your questions regarding love and relationships. What’s that? You want to know why? You dare ask? He’s been to busy raping the penguins outside of the GWAR Antarctic home base, that’s why! The man can’t be disturbed when his schlong is wreaking havoc amongst the indigenous population. I tried it once. I barely escaped with my life, not to mention the cherished virginity of my eye socket (who does that???). But now the love guru is back to answer your questions!

askbeefcake
Photo Courtesy: Adam Dodd

1) Hey Beefcake, I’m an 18 year old girl that is about to go to senior prom with my boyfriend of four years. We’ve never gone all the way, but I’m thinking that prom night will be the night! How can I make sure that it’s special and something I’ll remember and cherish for the rest of my life?
 
Ahh, yes! Young love, your first time, and all that bullshit! The point where you go from a sweet and  innocent young lady with her whole life ahead of her, to a shameless filthy slut overnight! The time when a sweet caring boyfriend changes into a bragging retard, high fiving his buddies and snickering along with them at the story of how he took your virginity and never called you again! Oh, the fumbling, awkward poking and prodding. The premature ejaculation. The unwanted teen pregnancy. Yes, it is a wonderful time! There are many ways to make this Hallmark moment last forever. Here are just a few suggestions. 
 
1) Get really really drunk and throw up all over your boyfriend before he reaches climax. This will assure you a place in history as the dumb drunken slut who threw up on her boyfriend while getting plowed in the boys room stall.
2) Let him take pictures. He’ll surely post them on the internet and ruin your life!
3) Get pregnant.
4) Find out the hard way that you’re not his first, and get a raging case of herpes!
5) Whatever you do, let him bang you. Otherwise, he won’t love you and you’ll die alone, fat, and ugly.
 
2) Yo Beefcake, I’m in a sticky situation. I’m seeing two girls at once that don’t know about each other and they’re starting to figure shit out. What should I do?
 
That’s easy! Introduce them to each other, drop some pills into their drinks, and when they get really horny, have an epic 3-way with them. They’ll totally be into it and you’ll be the coolest kid at the mall! This is a no lose situation! Chicks love it when you cheat on them and can’t wait to reward you with a Penthouse Forum fantasy 3-way with lots of girl on girl action! Hats off to you, Stud!
I want to try something new this time. If you want to submit a question, but are ashamed, leave a comment saying so and I’ll open up a dedicated email account to receive questions where they will be sent anonymously. If you have no shame, post your question below!
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Music

Marco Beltrami’s ‘Scream’ Score Gets Deluxe Reissue For 30th Anniversary

Published

2 days ago

on

July 9, 2026

By

Seminal slasher Scream rewrote the rules in 1996, and for its 30th anniversary,  Varèse Sarabande and Craft Recordings are celebrating with a new anniversary reissue of Marco Beltrami’s landmark score.

The original 14-track album returns to vinyl in a collectible “blood-soaked” sleeve on August 28.

If blood red isn’t your color, there’s good news: the reissue will also be available in many different limited-edition exclusive pressings.

In addition to the wide “Woodsboro Bloodbath” red vinyl pictured below, look for the following exclusives:

An Extended Cut Edition of the Scream (Original Motion Picture Score), featuring all 40 of the film’s cues from the 2022 Scream boxset, will also be available on CD. All formats are available to pre-order or pre-save today.

Top L-R: “Knife’s Edge” silver vinyl with poster (Target), “Surprise, Sidney” metallic blend vinyl (Barnes & Noble), “Don’t Hang Up” clear vinyl (Books-A-Million),
Bottom L-R: “I’ll Be Right Back” blue vinyl (Urban Outfitters), “Final Girl” splatter vinyl (Hot Topic), “Wrong Answer” Blood Red Splatter vinyl (Varèse Sarabande/Craft Recordings), and “Final Phone Call” blue vinyl (Indie Retail)

Marco Beltrami composed the iconic score as a then young, up-and-coming composer—one who, ironically, had never scored or even seen a horror film.

Yet just three years after he completed the University of Southern California’s rigorous scoring program, Beltrami submitted 13 minutes of music for Scream’s opening sequence and his future was forever changed. “We knew in half a minute that we had found our composer,” Craven told Variety in 2012. “The music was haunting, beautiful and totally original. Marco turned out to be shy and soft-spoken, but a fountain of ideas and innovation. I never looked back.”

Scream (Original Motion Picture Score) (30th Anniversary Deluxe Edition)

CD Tracklist

1. Dimension Logo (0:19)

2. The Cue from Hell (10:33)

3. Trouble in Woodsboro (1:52)

4. Sid’s House (1:12)

5. Red Herring (2:13)

6. Killer Calls Sydney (2:52)

7. Chasing Sidney (1:29)

8. Cell Phone (1:00)

9. Backdoor Gale (0:49)

10. Schoolyard 2 (1:17)

11. Sid’s Doubt (1:23)

12. Bathroom (2:58)

13. Mr. Himbry Gets It (2:11)

14. Sherriff and Dewey (1:21)

15. Tatum’s Torture (2:46)

16. Sidney Wants It (3:09)

17. Dewey and Gale (1:57)

18. Off to See Himbry (0:41)

19. Killer Stabs Billy (2:50)

20. Randy Almost Gets It (2:33)

21. Gale Crashes the Van (1:33)

22. They’re Crazy (9:42)

23. Sid Stabs Billy (4:24)

24. Billy’s Back (0:52)

25. End Credits (1:40)

26. Sid’s Window (0:26)

27. Gut Someone (0:13)

28. Sid Looks (0:16)

29. Billy Looks (0:24)

30. Billy to Cell (0:34)

31. Killer Calls Again (0:35)

32. Bang Into Billy (0:12)

33. Girl Talk (0:54)

34. Video Store (0:45)

35. Why She’s Here (0:16)

36. Billy Sting (0:13)

37. Prescott’s Car (0:29)

38. Hairbrush (0:38)

39. The Cue from Hell (Orchestra Only) (6:28)

40. I Don’t Care (Vocals Performed by Dillon Dixon) (3:01)

Scream – Original Motion Picture Score

Vinyl Tracklist

Side A:

1. Dimension Logo (0:19)

2. The Cue from Hell (10:33)

3. Trouble in Woodsboro (1:52)

4. Red Herring (2:13)

5. Chasing Sidney (1:29)

6. Backdoor Gale (0:49)

7. Schoolyard 2 (1:17)

8. Bathroom (2:58)

Side B:

1. Sherriff and Dewey (1:21)

2. Tatum’s Torture (2:46)

3. Sidney Wants It (3:09)

4. Killer Stabs Billy (2:50)

5. They’re Crazy (9:42)

6. End Credits (1:40)

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