Junkies, man. Junkies…and chicks.

Rarely does one come across a horror film so terrible that it is incredible. In my first review for the glorious Bloody-Disgusting.com, I was blessed with such a gem.

Blood Junkie is the first feature by filmmaker Drew Rosas. Shot for apparently only $7000 in 2010, this release from Troma packs in what some million dollar movies can’t. Starring Nick Sommer as Craig Wilson – a character that so badly wants to hone the charisma of Damone from Fast Times at Ridgemont High – yet fails incredibly – Blood Junkie takes the audience on a ride through a classic 1980’s style horror comedy.

Craig tries to work his womanizing skills on everyone, including his best friend’s (Teddy Bender) mother. Craig and Teddy celebrate in a homoerotic, slo-mo montage (complete with cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon) after they convince local chicks, Rachel and Laura, to go camping. Undoubtedly, they had to ask when they saw the two girls buying large amounts of alcohol at the local convenience store.

They set off in the family truckster, which is close enough to ‘metallic pea’ to name it so, for Rocky Trails campground.

Of course, there is a catch to this weekend adventure when Laura’s eight year-old brother, Andy, who has a thing for baiting ants with melted ice cream bars and then burning them with a magnifying glass, has to tag along.

While sitting around the campfire, drinking and smoking pot in excess, Teddy tells the tale his grandfather told him. He explains how an accident occurred at the old chemical plant in the woods. A pressure valve was not maintained, exploded and the plant was shut down. The night operator’s body was never found. Later, Teddy says, he found a journal in which his grandfather rambled about mutilated livestock – blaming it all on the manbeast that lived in the woods.

Is there truly a deranged madman living in the abandoned chemical plant – or could it be far worse? As Craig states, it could be ‘Junkies, man. Junkies.’

As it should, the 72 minute film relies on “the rules”. If you show your tits, you die. If you booze it up, you die. If you remain innocent, you live.

The set and costume designers deserve major praise as I remember wearing clothes donned by the cast as an 80’s child and playing in wood paneled basements much like at the Bender household. Everything is almost complete as one does have to forgive the 5 Hour Energy drinks and modern cigarette prices left in the convenience store scenes.

The atmosphere is heightened by everything from a moog synth version of what could be the ripoff of the Predator theme to the climax that gets under your skin with the use of a steady heartbeat. Deaths, and the entire film for that matter, are accentuated with the great use of excessive foley.

Extras include the standard commentary, trailers, production photos, a stream of Troma propaganda, and some deleted scenes that I believe could have added to the continuity. Also included is the Tropical Buns workout video that we see Rachel using early on in the film, starring Bobby Ciraldo as Billy “The Butt”. With the sunset beach chroma key background, and the addition of vhs tape tracking static, watching this bit was quite enjoyable for the too many minutes it lasted.

There is also a short film from director, writer and producer Drew Rosas, titled “Plastic Fangs.” The mood is much more art school project, which is most likely the case with the credit of “Andrew” Rosas and a copyright date of 2005.

All in all, the beauty of Blood Junkie definitely lies in the respect that it never takes itself seriously – which is unbelievably refreshing in an age where mainstream horror, that lacks any sort of charm, does.

The campy tongue- in-cheek humor, combined with over the top elements of horror, make it a future classic on any Troma collector’s shelf.