Movies
Best & Worst of 2009: Mr. Disgusting’s Bottom 5 of 2009!
A typical year consists of ten bad horror films to one good one. The quality of 2009 was quite impressive, although there were still a fair share of dookies floating in the pot. Beyond the break you’ll find a list of the worst 5 films of the year, with a bunch of dishonorable mentions. Get your debate hat on, it’s time to go to war.
David Harley (Best/Worst) | Ryan Daley (Best/Worst)
MR. DISGUSTING’S BOTTOM 5 OF 2009
I’m a huge fan of Alex Proyas, but the constant delays and the casting of Nicolas Cage (what happened man?) made me hyper-aware of what was coming. Even with those lowered expectations I still found this to be one of the most disappointing movies in years. Sure, it has incredible F/X work (the plane crash is astounding), but the left-field ending is beyond mindboggling. Did M. Night Shyamalan write this?
Even before Universal attempted to make the film look like it lived in the same universe as TWILIGHT, I thought this adaptation looked horrendous. Still, it’s always nice to have a new franchise to get into, so I gave it a go. Unfortunately, CIRQUE is a heartless, cold and intensely boring movie that doesn’t appeal to anyone, let alone children. A complete failure.
Talk about the most moronic and idiotic human beings on the entire planet. “Hey, if I climb this mountain and hang off a cliff, maybe I’ll get reception?” Beyond the horrid characters, the screenplay is an abysmal mess. When I say nothing happens, I mean NOTHING happens.
An incredibly incoherent movie with illogical characters doing jackassy things. The first half is promising, but by the time serious poltergeist occurrences begin, it falls apart quicker than you can say “Boo!” In fact, the finale is so ridiculous it made my brain hurt. Ghost cures cancer. Yeah.
Is there a word that transcends abysmal? BLOOD is the lowest form of cinematic garbage that carries not a single shred of redeemable screen time. It’s shocking to me that the movie even got the “go ahead”, as the core of the problem is the screenplay penned by Chris Chow. Hoping for a little blood? If you enjoy video game gore in your feature films then maybe you’ll enjoy this?
As much as I hated George A. Romero’s heartless SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD, I couldn’t help but have some fun watching it, which is why I opted to keep it off the actual list. I desperately wanted to include SOLOMON KANE but it unfortunately took the #6 slot. The movie was such an epic disappointment considering how cool all of the images, clips and trailer were. It blows my mind that people like CARRIERS. I have a little trick I pull on everyone that works like a charm every single time. I ask, “Did you also see THE ROAD?” Thus far the answer has always been “Yes.” So my follow-up question is, “Did you love THE ROAD?” The answer thus far, “No.” So my final question to them is, “If CARRIERS is a cheap, crappy version of THE ROAD, why do you love it so much?” Think on that. As for JENNIFER’S BODY, I can understand why people enjoy it. The satire has its merits, but I simply couldn’t stand the dialogue — err “Jen Speak” as I call it. A PERFECT GETAWAY carries one of the most obvious twists of the decade, and is fairly weak in its story structure. Beautifully shot, but who cares when there’s nothing all that enjoyable happening on screen? I’m one of the few who actually enjoy watching HALLOWEEN II, but much like SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD, it’s a terrible, terrible movie. Fun does not always equal good. The same goes for H2’s rival THE FINAL DESTINATION; fun movie, but what a piece of crap. Jesus.
A contemporary reimagining of H.P. Lovecraft’s short story Herbert West: Reanimator is on the way, and Deadline has unveiled the first look at the new Herbert West and the pathologist drawn to his orbit.
Adam Simon (The Haunting in Connecticut, “Salem”) and Tim Metcalfe (The Haunting in Connecticut, Kalifornia) penned the script. The original screenplay and storyline come from Jade Sandberg Wallace.
Michael Grossman (“The Originals”, “Pretty Little Liars”) directs.
The new images introduce star Joseph Morgan (“Vampire Diaries“), who plays “brilliant surgeon and scientist Herbert West, who is obsessed with creating a serum to reanimate the dead.” Katie Cassidy (Speed Demon) stars opposite as the pathologist with a troubled past who joins his efforts.
Together, they prove that conquering death may be the ultimate sin against life itself.
The film’s official synopsis: “As a child, Herbert West watches his father Peter reanimate his dead mother Judith in a secret basement lab — only for Judith to mortally wound Peter and nearly kill Herbert before Peter shoots her. The trauma leaves its mark on Herbert, but so does one final image: his mother’s finger, twitching after death. Thirty years later, Herbert West is a brilliant, secretive surgeon still chasing his father’s obsession.
“Pathologist Kate Locke arrives in town and is drawn into his orbit — first through a spark at a hospital fundraiser, then through his secret lab, where he reveals a serum capable of reanimating severed tissue. Kate, hiding a dark past of her own, is thrilled rather than horrified, and moves into West’s mansion to work alongside him. Their early experiments on a cadaver succeed only briefly. West concludes that dead tissue is the problem — they need something fresher.”
Supporting cast includes Scott Aiello, Ira J Amyx, Randall Newsome, Emma Reinagal, James D. Bryce, Kathryn A Bentley, Jack Lancaster, Amy Holland Pennell, John Pierson, Mindy Shaw, Eric Dean White, Tristan Wilder Hallet, Adrienne Lamping, Aaron Crippen, and Drew Patterson.
Makeup artist Jeff Lewis (“Star Trek: Voyager,” “Star Trek: Enterprise”) and cousin Roger Lewis are heading the production via their newly established Woodlake Entertainment.
Lovecraft’s short story, first serialized in Home Brew magazine in 1922, is the first among his works to mention the fictional Miskatonic University. It was most famously adapted into a 1985 horror movie from Stuart Gordon, starring Jeffrey Combs as Herbert West.
Herbert West: Reanimator is set in Alton, Illinois, where production is now underway.
Herbert West: Reanimator. Photo credit: Matt Lief Anderson
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