Editorials
The Top 21 Most Kick-Ass Giant Monsters in Movie History!
With the Kraken soon to be released once more in theaters everywhere thanks to the imminent remake of Clash of the Titans, it’s high time I took a long, hard look at the many awe-inspiring behemoths that have stomped their way across motion picture screens over the years. You can have your little vampires, werewolves, zombies and mummies–when you’re looking for wholesale destruction and unbridled terror, nothing serves it up quite like a massive irradiated monstrosity. We’re taking a look at the big boys this time out, so strap in and make sure you’re wearing your helmet! Oh, and aren’t you glad I completely avoided saying, “Size matters”?
The Top 21 Most Kick-Ass Giant Monsters in Movie History!
Decidedly less sexy than his female counterpart, the 50-foot Woman, Colossal Man nevertheless was deemed awesomely cheesy enough to be the brunt of one of Mystery Science Theater 3000’s most memorable episodes.
Wanna know how dangerous this massive arachnid from the 1955 movie of the same name was? They actually had to call on Clint Eastwood to stop the thing. That’s right, the future Dirty Harry plays a fighter pilot who makes an appearance at the end of this seminal monster movie.
San Francisco is the city of choice in Harryhausen’s It Came from Beneath the Sea, and what comes from beneath the sea is this gigantic octopus, a beastie who threatens to tear down the Golden Gate Bridge if it isn’t stopped. If only it had swung by Haight-Ashberry, this might have all been avoided…
Smaller and not as fierce as his cinematic cousin Kong, you still can’t help but have a soft spot for Joe. After all, he does manage to win a tug of war with a bunch of wrestlers, and his theme song is Stephen Foster’s “Beautiful Dreamer”, which shows a discerning musical taste.
Starting out very small in 20 Million Miles to Earth, this alien/reptilian Harryhausen creation gradually grows to mammoth proportions, threatening the Eternal City of Rome in the process. Proving to be the most cultured of movie monsters, he chooses the Collosseum as his target.
Godzilla meets Blair Witch as this hardly seen amphibious terror emerges from New York Harbor and turns the city upside down. As we’re made privy to the detailed doings of a gang of whiny twenty-somethings, we can’t help but pray for a better look at the giant thing that’s causing all the mayhem. And hope that it eats them all.
So many possibilities here, and if you’re a guy and you say they’ve never occurred to you, you’re lying. Not only is she one of the most unforgettable giant “monsters”, she also has one of the most famous movie poster of all time.
First appearing in the pages of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, the Balrog of Khazad-dum was perhaps the one monster LOTR fans were most anxious to see translated to the screen–and Peter Jackson certainly didn’t disappoint with his hellish interpretation of Morgoth’s minion.
Rounding out Toho’s Holy Kaiju Trinity is everyone’s favorite enormous irradiated pterodactyl. This dude is so huge that he can level skyscrapers just by flapping his wings, and also makes the coolest noise this side of Big G himself.
A kaiju flick for the 21st century, The Host is a tour-de-force of giant monster action, and the titular creature is a brilliant and terrifying reinvention of the classic archetype. Plus, he’s also a giant fish with legs, which rules.
Before Jurassic Park, even before Godzilla, there was this dinosaur run amok, one of Harryhausen’s first giant monster creations. An ambitious son of a gun, he runs rampant through the Big Apple itself, making his last stand in Brooklyn’s own Coney Island amusement park.
The three-headed arch-nemesis of Godzilla, this alien hydra spits lightning in every direction, destroying everything in its path. It also resembles the Chinese dragon, leading some to see it as Japan’s criticism of its Communist neighbor. Nothing like a little political commentary in a giant monster flick!
My personal favorite Harryhausen creation, this giant bronze statue is cold-blooded murder in physical form, coming after Jason and his Argonauts with relentless fury. An ancient giant robot of sorts, he is undone when Jason “unplugs” him, pouring out the black, oil-like substance he seems to run on.
The creation of Toho Studios’ chief Japanese rival company Daiei, the beloved giant turtle became a national institution perhaps second only to Godzilla himself. The invincible Guardian of the Universe, Gamera is nothing short of a cult icon.
Perhaps the most instantly recognizable of all of Ray Harryhausen’s creations, the giant Cyclops appears in The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, giving the fabled sailor a little more giant monster mayhem than he bargained for.
Toho’s second most famous monster, the world’s biggest flying insect is actually a god, worshipped by a bunch of Pacific natives with spray-on tans and accompanied by his own tiny twin fairies who sing to him. Not a bad gig for a creature whose main weapon is silk.
A gelatinous red mass of all-consuming alien gunk, the Blob gets larger the more it absorbs, until it threatens to swallow up an entire town. Fortunately, Steve McQueen is able to prove that even as a teenager, he was already a consummate badass.
From the dark recesses of the mind of Dr. Raymond Stantz came this titanic walking mountain of fluff. The corporeal embodiment of Gozer the Traveller, Sta-Puft wreaks havoc through mid-town Manhattan before getting roasted by the boys in gray.
It may look absolutely nothing like the traditional mythological representation of a Kraken (they’re more like giant squid), but Harryhausen’s beloved brainchild remains 1,000 tons of awesome in a 500-ton bag.
They don’t call the big guy “King of the Monsters” for nothing. Four hundred feet tall. Breathes nuclear fire. Star of about 749 movies. He’s battled everyone from Baragon to Bambi, and has perhaps the most rabid fan base of any monster on the planet.
And the number-one most kick-ass giant monster in movie history…(naturally)…
All due respect to the rest, but there is only one true King Kong. No matter what Peter Jackson has to say about it. The first, and still the most memorable giant movie monster, the Eighth Wonder of the World is awesome incarnate. Brought to life by the legendary Willis O’Brien, Kong is the last word in massive movie behemoths. Plus, he has excellent taste in chicks, even if there’s not much he can do with them.
For more horror news, opinions and other fun crap, including info on Dracula casting rumors, the Top 10 Most Overrated Horror Movies, and a boatload of classic Godzilla trailers, check out Brian’s daily blog, The Vault of Horror, at thevaultofhorror.net.
No conversation about cartoons based on live-action movies is ever complete without mentioning The Real Ghostbusters.
This animated continuation is, warts and all, a notable example of turning a hit movie into a hit series. And although the new target demographic skewed a little younger, even kids-at-heart could partake in the further adventures of Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Winston Zeddemore and Egon Spengler.
For a good part of its run, the show required fans to wait at least a week for more Ghostbustin’. That’s torture for a kiddo. Luckily, though, the entire series, or at least most of it, is now available for streaming.
So, as you revisit The Real Ghostbusters on Tubi—for now it’s just the first five seasons there—use this guide to help prioritize some must-see episodes.
The Boogieman Cometh
“The Boogieman Cometh” (Season 1)
Season One’s “The Boogieman Cometh” is a classic episode featuring one of the show’s more iconic villains. It’s hard to forget the unique character design used for the Boogieman (whose creepy voice was provided by Ray and Slimer’s actor, Frank Welker). In this story, Egon is reunited with that bump-in-the-night entity who haunted his own childhood, all while trying to keep him away from his latest targets: the brother and sister claiming to have the Boogieman in their closet. Although the Ghostbusters do save the day here, the Boogieman eventually returns (“The Bogeyman Is Back“). That same episode also features the love-’em-or-hate-’em Junior Ghostbusters.
Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream
“Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream” (Season 1)
You could say the namesake of “Mr. Sandman, Dream Me a Dream” had good intentions for putting mankind to sleep for the next few centuries—he wanted to end war and keep everyone dreaming. Sounds nice until you remember that whole free will business. But when it seems like the Ghostbusters have lost to their latest foe, the last one standing, Winston, gains a sudden ally. Janine’s dream of becoming a Ghostbuster is manifested, and she helps put this rogue spirit to bed.
When Halloween Was Forever
“When Halloween Was Forever” (Season 1)
Before the show’s execs capitalized on Slimer’s popularity by making him the focus of later episodes, early stories like “When Halloween Was Forever” better utilized that gooey ghost. Here, the spirit of Halloween itself, Samhain, hopes to make the holiday a permanent thing by stopping time. And who does the embodiment of All Hallows’ Eve use in his nefarious plot? Slimer, of course. Thankfully, the lil’ green bud knows where he really belongs, and Samhain is banished (at least until Season 3’s “Halloween II 1/2“).
Night Game
“Night Game” (Season 2)
Because Season Two was rather long, in comparison to other seasons, it accumulated quite a few solid episodes. One of the most beloved, though, is that ultimate good-versus-evil story, “Night Game“. Winston gets to shine here as he participates in a battle that was 500 years in the making. Except this time, the fighting is done on the baseball field. The other-dimensional settings in The Real Ghostbusters are always great, but the one here is particularly memorable.
Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin
“Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin” (Season 2)
Not all ghosts and whatnot were bad in The Real Ghostbusters. As “Drool, the Dog-Faced Goblin” showed, some were actually benevolent. Sadly, it took a lot of convincing, and one very heroic act, for Peter and the others to see past this goblin’s grotesque appearance. The heroes find more than one shapeshifter at a sideshow carnival in the Poconos; a sinister Class-4er called the Metamorph does a swell job of menacing the Ghostbusters before they finally realize Drool’s not their culprit. The good guys indeed win here, but that victory is a bittersweet one.
The Collect Call of Cathulhu
“The Collect Call of Cathulhu” (Season 2)
While “The Collect Call of Cathulhu” does misspell “Cthulhu” in the title (probably to avoid legal issues), it is clearly the Old One in this Lovecraft-inspired episode. The story kicks off with the Necronomicon being stolen by the deity’s modern-day cult, who then raise their ancient god at Coney Island. From there, the Ghostbusters’ typical methods don’t work on the big guy, so they seek advice from an old issue of Weird Tales (or “Wierd Tales”, as it’s spelled on screen). That build-up to the finale comes with a decent amount of dread before the Ghostbusters, as well as a scholar named Alice, face off with one of the show’s most powerful entities.
Knock, Knock
“Knock, Knock” (Season 2)
A number of Real Ghostbusters episodes could be reworked into big-screen features, but perhaps “Knock, Knock” is the most hopeful. It helps that this story feels in step with the first two movies. Here, some ignorant construction workers accidentally uncover and open an ancient door in the subway. What’s behind said door is none other than those unspeakable evils that only the Ghostbusters can quell. A good deal of the imagery here is prime for adaptation.
The Grundel
“The Grundel” (Season 3)
One of the darker episodes, which was written by the prominent J. Michael Straczynski, is “The Grundel“. Here, a boy is being influenced by the titular entity, a type of ghost who ultimately turns his targets into new Grundels. The episode does have something of an after-school special quality to it, but that doesn’t take away from the eerier moments. For more Grundel lore, be sure to check out the episode “Grundelesque” from the sequel series, Extreme Ghostbusters.
Standing Room Only
“Standing Room Only” (Season 4)
It’s no secret that The Real Ghostbusters experienced multiple changes after the second season. Out of all of them, though, retooling the show so that Slimer would get more of the spotlight is maybe the most egregious. Thankfully, Season Four (the first to be called Slimer! and the Real Ghostbusters) didn’t completely obey that new directive; episodes like “Standing Room Only” felt more like the old days. The focus here was on the well-being of the city and its people, rather than on the series’ green mascot (or the Junior Ghostbusters). In the episode, Peter’s new ghost attractor isn’t to blame for the ensuing chaos; the ghost-eating Mee-Krah is what’s really imperiling everyone. And the Ghostbusters must dish out everything they have to avoid a doomsday situation.
The Halloween Door
“The Halloween Door” (Season 5)
While many fans will skip the later seasons in their rewatches, episodes like “The Halloween Door” are still worth checking out. This colorful helping of Halloween pandemonium premiered on primetime, so the animation is better than usual. And save for a random musical moment, it’s an enjoyable event. Here, a group of anti-Halloweeners tries to cancel the holiday, but they only end up making things worse by unleashing a baddie named Boogaloo.
The first five seasons of The Real Ghostbusters are available on Tubi, starting on July 15.
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