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Top 10 Kills in the ‘Hostel’ Franchise!

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Hostel
Image courtesy of Sony Screen Gems

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the release of Eli Roth’s now infamous film Hostel. Lately, Hostel seems to have lost the respect it once received in the public eye. When it was released in 2005, it was highly regarded, especially in the horror community. Now when people mention it, they seem to only be able to recall the “torture porn” trend that it started. Personally, I think the first Hostel is alright, but I absolutely love Hostel: Part II. As for Hostel: Part III, the less said about that one the better, but I digress. To celebrate the occasion (and in addition to Jonathan’s post from earlier today), we thought we would rank the top ten kills in the trilogy!

***Everything that follows is NSFW. ESPECIALLY #2***

10. Natalya, Svetlana, and Alexei (Hostel) – Hit by Car

It’s not that this set of deaths is particularly memorable, it was just so cathartic to see all of these characters get what was coming to them. Granted, it would have been a little bit nicer had they suffered some kind of torture like poor Josh (more on him in a bit).

Top 10 Hostel Kills

9. Paxton (Hostel: Part II) – Decapitated

Paxton’s (Jay Hernandez) death may happen off-screen, but that doesn’t mean it’s not brutal when you finally see it. We get to briefly revisit Paxton in Roth’s clever homage to Friday the 13th Part 2. It’s not long before his girlfriend (Jordan Ladd) discovers her cat licking the neck wound on his headless corpse though. Nice touch!

Top 10 Deaths in Hostel Franchise

8. Axelle (Hostel: Part II) – Decapitated

This is just your standard, everyday decapitation, but the real kicker (no pun intended) here is that the kids in the “Bubblegum Gang” play soccer with her head. It doesn’t hurt matters that Beth (Lauren German) was finally able to get her revenge on her after she helped get all of her friends killed.

Top 10 Hostel Deaths

7. Kana (Hostel) – Hit by Train

I’ve written about how difficult it is to watch Kana’s scenes in Hostel because of the eye pus, but her death is nearly as disturbing as she chooses to commit suicide by jumping in front of a train. The fact that she would rather die than live life with a facial deformity is the real disturbing thing about this death. At least she saved a lot of money on therapy this way.

Top 10 Hostel Deaths

6. Josh (Hostel) – Throat Slashed

The first major kill in the Hostel franchise (though not the first major death, that would be Oli’s off-screen decapitation) is a brutal one, if only for the fact that it was implied that Josh (Derek Richardson) would be the “Final Girl” of the film. His death introduced us to the madness that would play out over the course of the rest of the series. After having a few holes drilled into his leg, his killer slits his Achilles tendons and allows him to attempt to walk out. The shot of his heel when he takes a step is enough to make anyone turn away. The throat slashing seems tame by comparison.

Top 10 Hostel Deaths

5. Whitney (Hostel: Part II) – Saw Blade to the Face

Poor Whitney (Bijou Phillips). All she wanted to do was get laid. Of course, this is a cardinal sin for any character in a horror movie, so she was destined to die. The manner of her death was particularly shocking though, when Todd (Richard Burgi) is showing off with his power saw and accidentally slices off part of her scalp. In a sick twist, she doesn’t actually die from this and has to be pawned of to other Elite Hunting Club members (at a discounted rate) when Todd backs out.

Top 10 Hostel Deaths

4. Mike (Hostel: Part III) – Face Sliced Off

Hostel: Part III didn’t have that many great deaths (one girl gets suffocated by cockroaches, if that gives you any idea), but Mike’s is arguably the best one in the film. The poor bastard gets his face sliced off which supposedly kills him, though technically we don’t see him die. He does die though, which qualifies him for placement on this list.

Top 10 Hostel Deaths

3. Guard (Hostel) – Head Bashed in by Children

This guy doesn’t even have a name, but the fact that he gets murdered by a group of kids is pretty awesome. The cherry on top of his much-deserved death is the shot of his head being crushed by one of the children.

Top 10 Hostel Deaths

2. Stuart (Hostel: Part II) – Castrated **GRAPHIC NUDITY**

Roth subverted audience expectations in Hostel: Part II by pulling a switcheroo with his two lead villains Todd and Stuart (Roger Bart). Todd had spent the whole movie playing the “tough guy” role, with Stuart acting more shy and reserved. Lo and behold, Stuart is actually the psychotic one, and his betrayal of Beth makes it all the more satisfying when she finally castrates him and feeds his severed member to the dogs.

Top 10 Hostel Kills

1. Lorna (Hostel: Part II) – Throat Slashed

Lorna’s (Heather Matarazzo) death is the most brutal death in the entire Hostel trilogy. There is no argument about it. The poor girl just wanted to have a nice vacation, and instead she got sliced up by a Mrs. Bathory, a woman with hematomania. What makes this death so difficult to watch is that once Bathory cuts off Lorna’s gag, we must spend over a minute listening to her pleas for help as Bathory cuts into her back with a scythe. When she finally slits Lorna’s throat (in a spectacularly bloody effect), it’s a mercy on her and the audience.

Top 10 Hostel Kills

Do you agree with my rankings? What are your favorite kills in the Hostel franchise? Do you, like me, think that Hostel: Part II is an underrated gem? Let me know in the comments below or shoot me a Tweet and celebrate the 10th anniversary of Eli Roth’s Hostel!

A journalist for Bloody Disgusting since 2015, Trace writes film reviews and editorials, as well as co-hosts Bloody Disgusting's Horror Queers podcast, which looks at horror films through a queer lens. He has since become dedicated to amplifying queer voices in the horror community, while also injecting his own personal flair into film discourse. Trace lives in Austin, TX with his husband and their two dogs. Find him on Twitter @TracedThurman

Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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