As in most movies, children can play an important part in horror movies. Sometimes though, those children can hamper your enjoyment of the film you’re watching. Be they bratty, evil, murderous, or just plain stupid, children in horror movies have the worst track record when it comes to being likable. Here are five of the worst offenders!
***SPOILERS BELOW***
Mara Chaffee – Village of the Damned
Village of the Damned may not be one of John Carpenter’s best movies, but it features one of his most memorable and brattiest villains. Mara (Lindsey Haun, True Blood) is a bitch of the highest order. The leader of a group of telepathic and mind-controlling children, her mere presence is enough to make you want to jump through the screen and give her a good slap across her face.
Lex Murphy – Jurassic Park
First of all: yes I’m qualifying Jurassic Park as a horror film. Many people group Lex and Tim together when talking about how annoying they are, but I maintain that Lex is the true obnoxious child of this duo. At least Tim snaps out of his fear and get shit done. Lex, with the exception of her restoring power to the control room, is just a whiny, cloying pre-teen. Some slack must be given to her since it is understandable for a child to be so freaked out while being attacked by dinosaurs, but she took it just a smidgen too far.
Charlie Sandin – The Purge
It’s not that Charlie is consistently annoying throughout the course of The Purge, it’s just that he makes one really stupid decision. On Purge night, when everything is supposed to be locked down, he opts to raise the security walls in his house to let in a stranger (Edwin Hodge) being stalked by a group of Purgers, thereby setting up the main conflict of the film. Of course, without that stupid decision, there would be no film, so you can’t complain about it too much. Actor Max Burkholder is no stranger to playing obnoxious children (anyone who watched him play Max Braverman on NBC’s Parenthood knows this better than anyone), so he gave it his all in The Purge.
Esther Coleman – Orphan
If you know the twist in Orphan, then you know that her inclusion on this list may be a bit of a cheat, but until that twist is made public, Esther is a demon child straight out of your nightmares. She’s also such a self-entitled little brat that even her quick death by neck-breaking doesn’t seem like it’s harsh enough.
Samuel Vanek – The Babadook
You didn’t think I would make a list about obnoxious children in horror movies and not include this little douchebag, did you? While he was played to perfection by actor Noah Wiseman, Samuel is hands down one of the most annoying children put in a film, horror or otherwise. It got to the point where you were practically begging for the titular bogeyman to eat him (or whatever it is the Babadook does, since he doesn’t actually kill anyone in the film). I get that the film is about a mother trying to get over the grief of losing her husband (with the Babadook as a personification of that grief), but this kid was too much. I wouldn’t have spent a single second saving him.
What are some other children in horror movies that bugged the crap out of you? Let us know in the comments below!