Connect with us

Editorials

5 Times Cereal Gave Us Kick-Ass Horror Toys!

Published

on

Until my sixth-grade Health class, I always just figured Count Chocula was considered one of the five main food groups.

I can fondly remember the days when I would awake before everyone else in my house at the tender age of nine (yeah I’m an early birdie) on a gorgeous Saturday morning to catch the first wave of the ABC Saturday Morning lineup. I would hop out of my TMNT bedsheets, wander down the shagged rug hallway into the kitchen where the breakfast of Saturday morning splendor would commence, consisting of a bowl of my favorite cereal- Apple Jacks… or if we’re talking the Halloween season, duh Monster Cereals.

More often than not, when a glorious unopened box of cereal sat on the shelf with that eye-popping picture on the bottom left corner announcing to the world it held a treasure from the General Mills Gods inside, your morning breakfast turned into a goddamn win for the rest of the day.

Hey, when you’re a kid in the fourth grade, it’s the dumb little things like worthless plastic surprises in your sugary bowl of goodness that make life that much better.

Pulling out your mystery toy from the breakfast treat you valued as much as air felt like a victory of sorts; especially if you had siblings who always tried to beat you to the cereal prizes. Admit it. We all know that one person who dumped the entire box out into a giant bowl in an attempt to fetch the wonder toy, and hell maybe you’re guilty of it. However, in the case when a cereal brand would offer a horror-themed toy inside its four cardboard walls, all bets were off, and you bet your sweet ass I was getting that tiny Halloween treasure before anyone else.

Eh, call it selfish. But I have no regrets.

In honor of the recent release of our beloved Monster Cereals, let’s take a look back at five times digging towards the bottom of the cereal box for plastic horror valuables paid off big time. From plastic FrankenBerry premiums to Monster Mitts, let’s stroll down horror cereal paragon memory lane…


5. Monster Mitts – HoneyComb

Image via Flickriver

Back in the early ‘70s, Post Honeycomb cereal packaged these fabulous cheap plastic gloves marketed as Monster Mitts. Four different and colorful designs were placed at random inside select boxes consisting of a ghoulish hand unzipping to expose a skeleton, a bloody veiny mitt with the inclusion of a spider, a sea-monster type mitt, and a blue veiny mitt with an all-seeing eyeball. SWEET.


4.Monster in My Pocket- Frosted Flakes

Image via Retro-Daze

The toy-line released by Matchbox in 1989 found their way into Tony the Tiger’s den in the early ‘90s with one of the little buggers hiding inside along the sugary cornflakes as a promo. I remember my cousin buying eight boxes of these in the hopes of collecting a few figures at once. Is it wrong that I laughed at the fact he ended up with the same two out of the eight?


3. Addams Family Flashlights-Addams Family Cereal

Image via Terapeak

1991 was Addams Family madness and were even invading your morning breakfast ritual thanks to Ralston cereals. I don’t remember the cereal being anything great but the flashlights promptly displayed in front of the box rather than inside in the form of members of the Addams clan reeled us in. Lurch, Thing, Cousin ITT, and Uncle Fester mini flashlights were up for grabs in this little diddy, and while the cereal itself didn’t last long, the flashlights themselves are highly sought after by vintage cereal toy fanatics. I still have my Cousin ITT blinker, and it remains a treasured childhood relic.


2. Spooky Speedsters- Monster Cereal

Image via WordPress

Oh man, the only thing the Church of Boo Berry could make me love it anymore is the inclusion of cereal box prizes once more. The Monster Cereal brand released various spooky treasures inside the marshmallow box of splendor for years, however, the Spooky Speedsters were one of the coolest. Back in 1981, Count Chocula had the coffin-shaped Midnight Creeper, FrankenBerry rode the Silly Stretcher, and Sir Boo of Berry cradled the Crazy Cloud Car. Good stuff guys.


1. Monster Cereal Mascot figurines- Monster Cereal

Image via Pinterest

Yeah I’m obviously a sucker for these guys but come on, can you really blame me? As far as Monster Cereal treasures, the 1970’s figurines that included Sir Fruit Brute, are by far my favorite and the gold at the end of the rainbow-sorry Lucky Charms. The 8” tall, soft and squeezable vinyl figures are considered the treasure trove of monster cereal collectibles and if you have all four of these beasts, I envy you, kind sir or madam, more than a rabbit who watches in sadness as some selfish kids eat his damn cereal.

Any rad horror inspired cereal treasures you want to reminisce about? Let’s chat below!

Editorials

‘Leprechaun Returns’ – The Charm of the Franchise’s Legacy Sequel

Published

on

leprechaun returns

The erratic Leprechaun franchise is not known for sticking with a single concept for too long. The namesake (originally played by Warwick Davis) has gone to L.A., Las Vegas, space, and the ‘hood (not once but twice). And after an eleven-year holiday since the Davis era ended, the character received a drastic makeover in a now-unmentionable reboot. The critical failure of said film would have implied it was time to pack away the green top hat and shillelagh, and say goodbye to the nefarious imp. Instead, the Leprechaun series tried its luck again.

The general consensus for the Leprechaun films was never positive, and the darker yet blander Leprechaun: Origins certainly did not sway opinions. Just because the 2014 installment took itself seriously did not mean viewers would. After all, creator Mark Jones conceived a gruesome horror-comedy back in the early nineties, and that format is what was expected of any future ventures. So as horror legacy sequels (“legacyquels”) became more common in the 2010s, Leprechaun Returns followed suit while also going back to what made the ‘93 film work. This eighth entry echoed Halloween (2018) by ignoring all the previous sequels as well as being a direct continuation of the original. Even ardent fans can surely understand the decision to wipe the slate clean, so to speak.

Leprechaun Returns “continued the [franchise’s] trend of not being consistent by deciding to be consistent.” The retconning of Steven Kostanski and Suzanne Keilly’s film was met with little to no pushback from the fandom, who had already become accustomed to seeing something new and different with every chapter. Only now the “new and different” was familiar. With the severe route of Origins a mere speck in the rearview mirror, director Kotanski implemented a “back to basics” approach that garnered better reception than Zach Lipovsky’s own undertaking. The one-two punch of preposterous humor and grisly horror was in full force again.

LEPRECHAUN

Pictured: Linden Porco as The Leprechaun in Leprechaun Returns.

With Warwick Davis sitting this film out — his own choice — there was the foremost challenge of finding his replacement. Returns found Davis’ successor in Linden Porco, who admirably filled those blood-stained, buckled shoes. And what would a legacy sequel be without a returning character? Jennifer Aniston obviously did not reprise her final girl role of Tory Redding. So, the film did the next best thing and fetched another of Lubdan’s past victims: Ozzie, the likable oaf played by Mark Holton. Returns also created an extension of Tory’s character by giving her a teenage daughter, Lila (Taylor Spreitler).

It has been twenty-five years since the events of the ‘93 film. The incident is unknown to all but its survivors. Interested in her late mother’s history there in Devil’s Lake, North Dakota, Lila transferred to the local university and pledged a sorority — really the only one on campus — whose few members now reside in Tory Redding’s old home. The farmhouse-turned-sorority-house is still a work in progress; Lila’s fellow Alpha Epsilon sisters were in the midst of renovating the place when a ghost of the past found its way into the present.

The Psycho Goreman and The Void director’s penchant for visceral special effects is noted early on as the Leprechaun tears not only into the modern age, but also through poor Ozzie’s abdomen. The portal from 1993 to 2018 is soaked with blood and guts as the Leprechaun forces his way into the story. Davis’ iconic depiction of the wee antagonist is missed, however, Linden Porco is not simply keeping the seat warm in case his predecessor ever resumes the part. His enthusiastic performance is accentuated by a rotten-looking mug that adds to his innate menace.

LEPRECHAUN RETURNS sequel

Pictured: Taylor Spreitler, Pepi Sonuga, and Sai Bennett as Lila, Katie and Rose in Leprechaun Returns.

The obligatory fodder is mostly young this time around. Apart from one luckless postman and Ozzie — the premature passing of the latter character removed the chance of caring about anyone in the film — the Leprechaun’s potential prey are all college aged. Lila is this story’s token trauma kid with caregiver baggage; her mother thought “monsters were always trying to get her.” Lila’s habit of mentioning Tory’s mental health problem does not make a good first impression with the resident mean girl and apparent alcoholic of the sorority, Meredith (Emily Reid). Then there are the nicer but no less cursorily written of the Alpha Epsilon gals: eco-conscious and ex-obsessive Katie (Pepi Sonuga), and uptight overachiever Rose (Sai Bennett). Rounding out the main cast are a pair of destined-to-die bros (Oliver Llewellyn Jenkins, Ben McGregor). Lila and her peers range from disposable to plain irritating, so rooting for any one of them is next to impossible. Even so, their overstated personalities make their inevitable fates more satisfying.

Where Returns excels is its death sequences. Unlike Jones’ film, this one is not afraid of killing off members of the main cast. Lila, admittedly, wears too much plot armor, yet with her mother’s spirit looming over her and the whole story — comedian Heather McDonald put her bang-on Aniston impersonation to good use as well as provided a surprisingly emotional moment in the film — her immunity can be overlooked. Still, the other characters’ brutal demises make up for Lila’s imperviousness. The Leprechaun’s killer set-pieces also happen to demonstrate the time period, seeing as he uses solar panels and a drone in several supporting characters’ executions. A premortem selfie and the antagonist’s snarky mention of global warming additionally add to this film’s particular timestamp.

Critics were quick to say Leprechaun Returns did not break new ground. Sure, there is no one jetting off to space, or the wacky notion of Lubdan becoming a record producer. This reset, however, is still quite charming and entertaining despite its lack of risk-taking. And with yet another reboot in the works, who knows where the most wicked Leprechaun ever to exist will end up next.


Horror contemplates in great detail how young people handle inordinate situations and all of life’s unexpected challenges. While the genre forces characters of every age to face their fears, it is especially interested in how youths might fare in life-or-death scenarios.

The column Young Blood is dedicated to horror stories for and about teenagers, as well as other young folks on the brink of terror.

Leprechaun Returns movie

Pictured: Linden Porco as The Leprechaun in Leprechaun Returns.

Continue Reading