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We Are So Ready for a Super Violent ‘Dinosaurs Attack!’ Movie

We Are So Ready for a Super Violent ‘Dinosaurs Attack!’ Movie

This may very well be the most insanely cool movie *never* made.

In the wake of Jurassic World‘s massive box office success back in 2015, my one big hope was that the film would lead to a Hollywood studio acquiring and giving the green light to a movie I’ve been waiting my whole life for: a feature film adaptation of the Topps trading card line, Dinosaurs Attack!.

It still hasn’t happened yet. But I’m not giving up hope.

Created by Gary Gerani and released in 1988, Dinosaurs Attack! was inspired by the Mars Attacks! line of the early ’60s – somewhat ironically, Tim Burton was planning on making a Dinosaurs Attack! movie back in the ’90s, but ultimately left it behind to make Mars Attacks! instead. But I digress.

Throughout 55 base cards and 11 stickers, the line told the story of dinosaurs transported through time to the present day, all thanks to a scientific experiment gone horribly wrong. Each card told part of the story, tracking the prehistoric beasts’ path of destruction across literally the entire world.

The most notable thing about the Dinosaurs Attack! cards, and what made them so awesome to me as a kid, was that they were INCREDIBLY violent, pulling absolutely no punches in the gore department. On one card, a grandma blasts the eyeball of a giant reptile clean off with a shotgun, while another depicts an open-mouthed T-Rex devouring the human passengers on a roller coaster.

Blood, guts, and pure insanity was the name of the game here.

The final cards saw the remaining dinosaurs ripped apart as the time travel effect is reversed after the lead scientist sacrifices himself to the six-eyed ‘Supreme Monstrosity’ – a massive, Devil-like dinosaur that fans often refer to as ‘Dinosaur Satan.’

From there, survivors of the brutal attacks begin to rebuild the world, left in a state of post-apocalyptic ruin.

Looking back on the cards, one thing is immediately clear: the Dinosaurs Attack! line was, and still is, just BEGGING to be turned into a movie. As Gerani himself once noted, The scenario was designed for a movie, with strong main characters, juicy set pieces, a mystery structure, and an apocalyptic finaleThe card images are like storyboards. [Scientist] Elias Thorne is a great role for an actor, and the dinosaurs can be outrageous and literally larger-than-life, given the anomalies of time-warping.”

I recently reminded Topps that, with the astonishing success of Jurassic World, the time is right to set this project up,” Gerani noted on social media back in 2015. “I submitted a proposal and treatment for the big movie version, which they are now shopping around. Are you listening, Warner Bros?

With giant monster movies on the rise – Kong: Skull Island smashed up the big screen this year, with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, Rampage, Pacific Rim Uprising and Godzilla: King of the Monsters all on the horizon – now would seem to be the perfect time for a Dinosaurs Attack! movie, which would also tap into the nostalgia that’s currently driving people into their local theaters perhaps more than ever before. It’d require a big budget and a big risk from a major studio, but a gory, “R” rated giant monster movie may be precisely the escapism we need right now.

For now, the exceedingly (and wonderfully) cruel Pterosaur attack scene from Jurassic World gives us the best idea of what a Dinosaurs Attack! film could be like. The scene, the most terrifying in the entire movie, pretty well captured the pure insanity of Gerani’s cards, even if it was nowhere near as visually graphic as that ’80s artwork was.

Now just imagine that scene… with blood, guts and 100x the mayhem!

Yes. Please.



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COMMENTS

10 Comments
  • zombie84_41

    dude this needs to happen so badly. seems hollywood is losing up lately and been doing some cool ideas like we gettin an R rated star trek like wtf i never would of expected that.

  • biff

    It would be great if the Jurassic Turnpike went off the deep end and such a project could happen. It’d even be better going retro with some killer stop-motion dinosaurs and practical effects.

  • Baron Von Marlon

    I would LOVE a movie like this.
    And those card images are feckin’ sweet!

  • Nahuel Benvenuto

    something like that with practical effects would be great, there is just not enough dinosaur related movies and videogames

  • Trioxin83

    yes! i still have all of these in an album somewhere in a box! Now i’ll have to find them!

  • EvilHead1981

    That cover picture of the purple dinosaur in the classroom, grabbing the teacher and chomping on students…. THAT’S more like Rampage the game than the new The Rock movie looks to be.

  • James

    Ahh I still have the full set from when I was a kid. Awesome set.

  • Green Jello

    I remember collecting these cards back in the late 80s. I still have about 6 unopened boxes. There were plans to do this film back in the 90s after WB got the rights from Topps, but after the box office failure of Mars Attacks! it was called off. Lets hope they give it another chance.

    I always loved this pic here of the Giant Behemoth and the Beast From 20,000 Fathoms destroying the leaning tower of Pisa..
    https://c1.staticflickr.com/4/3495/4060995192_7336e0c9be.jpg

  • Necro

    You know John upon reading that article, very good idea by the way, I was thinking that the whole point behind your suggestion is that it would absolutely have to get a hard R rating. For a minute there I thought you weren’t going to say it specifically, cuz you know you can’t leave anything to assumption. But you did and THANK YOU! With Marvel and mainly all of their films being Pussy-13 and finally here comes ‘Deadpool’ & ‘Logan’ proving it can be done and successful. You gotta think the folks behind ‘Jurassic’ have toyed with the idea of possibly releasing at least one of these films in a rated R setting. I honestly think it would be more successful. They wouldn’t have to have abusive language, just some gory deaths. Parents would get behind that I’m sure, or at least most probably would. Yeah John I honestly think we’re heading down this path soon and what you mentioned in this article seems like the perfect candidate. You’ve definitely got my vote on this one!

  • MrX13

    This would be a badass movie to see! Most definitely would need to be a hard R rating with practical effects mixed in with CG, just like with Jurassic Park. Will need to have a lot of gore and blood, bodies being ripped apart and so much. Let’s get this made people!!

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