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Spoilers for Ready Player One below.

Ernest Cline’s novel Ready Player One is full of references to ‘80s pop culture: video games, board games, music, movies – and that includes horror. So we were eager to see how many horror references director Steven Spielberg could scatter throughout his adaptation of Cline’s book (read my SXSW review here).

The answer is: plenty! Inside The Oasis, the virtual reality world of the future created by an ‘80s pop culture-obsessed billionaire genius, we see lightning-fast glimpses of or references to some iconic horror characters, like Freddy Krueger and Stephen King’s Christine (both of which made their way into the trailer and/or San Diego Comic-Con footage), Beetlejuice (he counts, right?), Michael Jackson in Thriller, the chestburster from Alien, Madballs, The Fly and Chucky. (Of all of these, Chucky was the biggest crowd-pleaser.) And if you counts kaijus and mechas, we’ve also got King Kong, the Iron Giant, Mecha Godzilla and Gundam.

None of these, save King Kong and Iron Giant, are onscreen for more than a few seconds; they’re each just a blip in a long series of blips. Ready Player One is stuffed to the gills with references, and most of them are just shoved onscreen for a hot minute in one of the many crowded action sequences. As Spielberg himself said in his intro, the “side windows” are the references and the “windshield” is the story. In other words, you could spend the entire movie watching the outer frames of the screen for allusions to the dozens of other pop culture properties that are nodded to in Ready Player One, and in doing so most likely miss a big chunk of the main action.

But there’s one horror movie that gets much more than a nod. And it just so happens to be one of the greatest horror movies of all time: Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining.

For the second of three quests our protagonist Parzival (Tye Sheridan) must accomplish to win control of The Oasis and keep it out of the hands of the evil corporation IOI, he’s given a clue that mentions “the creator who hates his creation.” Coupled with a few other hints, this clue leads Parzival to The Shining, because author Stephen King notoriously despised Kubrick’s adaptation. (As a lifelong King stan, please allow me to say that he’s wrong.)

Parzival, along with his friends Aech (Lena Waithe) and Art3mis (Olivia Cooke), make their way to the virtual Overlook Theatre, with an old-fashioned marquee trumpeting The Shining. As they walk inside, they find the lobby of the Overlook hotel, the rustic southwest design we all know so well. They wander into Jack’s office off of the lobby, and there they find his trusty typewriter, with pages upon pages of “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy,” of course, only this time the words form the shape of keys on the page, in honor of Ready Player One’s key quests.

The kids get separated, because that’s what happens in horror movies. Aech follows a ball that bounces through the lobby and takes him to the second floor, at which point the audience started giggling in nervous anticipation. He walks past a framed photo of Overlook guests of the past, then sees the twins in their blue dresses in front of the red elevator. The elevator does what that elevator does, which is to say it opens and floods the hallway with an ocean of blood that sweeps Aech off his feet and to – you guessed it!- room 237.

He meets the young/old naked woman from the bathtub, before an axe – Jack’s axe, presumably, although we never see the wielder – breaks through the door, and suddenly Aech is running through a tiny model of the icy labyrinth while a giant axe chops after him. The scene culminates with a ghostly ballroom scene that looks like nothing so much as the ball in Disney’s Haunted Mansion ride, before everything dissolves into a zombie fight, because Ready Player One can never be just one thing.

It’s a really fun scene, and it’s pretty insane watching Spielberg riff on Kubrick by way of Cline. AND it turns out that the black and white photo of previous Overlook guests isn’t just a visual high-five to Kubrick’s film, but also another crucial clue in Parzival’s quest. But if you’re wondering if any of the main characters of The Shining show up, I’ve got bad news for you: Danny’s not here, Mrs. Torrance.

Meredith Borders is the Managing Editor of FANGORIA and a freelance writer and editor living in Houston, where she owns a brewery and restaurant with her husband.

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‘Amityville Karen’ Is a Weak Update on ‘Serial Mom’ [Amityville IP]

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Amityville Karen horror

Twice a month Joe Lipsett will dissect a new Amityville Horror film to explore how the “franchise” has evolved in increasingly ludicrous directions. This is “The Amityville IP.”

A bizarre recurring issue with the Amityville “franchise” is that the films tend to be needlessly complicated. Back in the day, the first sequels moved away from the original film’s religious-themed haunted house storyline in favor of streamlined, easily digestible concepts such as “haunted lamp” or “haunted mirror.”

As the budgets plummeted and indie filmmakers capitalized on the brand’s notoriety, it seems the wrong lessons were learned. Runtimes have ballooned past the 90-minute mark and the narratives are often saggy and unfocused.

Both issues are clearly on display in Amityville Karen (2022), a film that starts off rough, but promising, and ends with a confused whimper.

The promise is embodied by the tinge of self-awareness in Julie Anne Prescott (The Amityville Harvest)’s screenplay, namely the nods to John Waters’ classic 1994 satire, Serial Mom. In that film, Beverly Sutphin (an iconic Kathleen Turner) is a bored, white suburban woman who punished individuals who didn’t adhere to her rigid definition of social norms. What is “Karen” but a contemporary equivalent?

In director/actor Shawn C. Phillips’ film, Karen (Lauren Francesca) is perpetually outraged. In her introductory scenes, she makes derogatory comments about immigrants, calls a female neighbor a whore, and nearly runs over a family blocking her driveway. She’s a broad, albeit familiar persona; in many ways, she’s less of a character than a caricature (the living embodiment of the name/meme).

These early scenes also establish a fairly straightforward plot. Karen is a code enforcement officer with plans to shut down a local winery she has deemed disgusting. They’re preparing for a big wine tasting event, which Karen plans to ruin, but when she steals a bottle of cursed Amityville wine, it activates her murderous rage and goes on a killing spree.

Simple enough, right?

Unfortunately, Amityville Karen spins out of control almost immediately. At nearly every opportunity, Prescott’s screenplay eschews narrative cohesion and simplicity in favour of overly complicated developments and extraneous characters.

Take, for example, the wine tasting event. The film spends an entire day at the winery: first during the day as a band plays, then at a beer tasting (???) that night. Neither of these events are the much touted wine-tasting, however; that is actually a private party happening later at server Troy (James Duval)’s house.

Weirdly though, following Troy’s death, the party’s location is inexplicably moved to Karen’s house for the climax of the film, but the whole event plays like an afterthought and features a litany of characters we have never met before.

This is a recurring issue throughout Amityville Karen, which frequently introduces random characters for a scene or two. Karen is typically absent from these scenes, which makes them feel superfluous and unimportant. When the actress is on screen, the film has an anchor and a narrative drive. The scenes without her, on the other hand, feel bloated and directionless (blame editor Will Collazo Jr., who allows these moments to play out interminably).

Compounding the issue is that the majority of the actors are non-professionals and these scenes play like poorly performed improv. The result is long, dull stretches that features bad actors talking over each other, repeating the same dialogue, and generally doing nothing to advance the narrative or develop the characters.

While Karen is one-note and histrionic throughout the film, at least there’s a game willingness to Francesca’s performance. It feels appropriately campy, though as the film progresses, it becomes less and less clear if Amityville Karen is actually in on the joke.

Like Amityville Cop before it, there are legit moments of self-awareness (the Serial Mom references), but it’s never certain how much of this is intentional. Take, for example, Karen’s glaringly obvious wig: it unconvincingly fails to conceal Francesca’s dark hair in the back, but is that on purpose or is it a technical error?

Ultimately there’s very little to recommend about Amityville Karen. Despite the game performance by its lead and the gentle homages to Serial Mom’s prank call and white shoes after Labor Day jokes, the never-ending improv scenes by non-professional actors, the bloated screenplay, and the jittery direction by Phillips doom the production.

Clocking in at an insufferable 100 minutes, Amityville Karen ranks among the worst of the “franchise,” coming in just above Phillips’ other entry, Amityville Hex.

Amityville Karen

The Amityville IP Awards go to…

  • Favorite Subplot: In the afternoon event, there’s a self-proclaimed “hot boy summer” band consisting of burly, bare-chested men who play instruments that don’t make sound (for real, there’s no audio of their music). There’s also a scheming manager who is skimming money off the top, but that’s not as funny.
  • Least Favorite Subplot: For reasons that don’t make any sense, the winery is also hosting a beer tasting which means there are multiple scenes of bartender Alex (Phillips) hoping to bring in women, mistakenly conflating a pint of beer with a “flight,” and goading never before seen characters to chug. One of them describes the beer as such: “It looks like a vampire menstruating in a cup” (it’s a gold-colored IPA for the record, so…no).
  • Amityville Connection: The rationale for Karen’s killing spree is attributed to Amityville wine, whose crop was planted on cursed land. This is explained by vino groupie Annie (Jennifer Nangle) to band groupie Bianca (Lilith Stabs). It’s a lot of nonsense, but it is kind of fun when Annie claims to “taste the damnation in every sip.”
  • Neverending Story: The film ends with an exhaustive FIVE MINUTE montage of Phillips’ friends posing as reporters in front of terrible green screen discussing the “killer Karen” story. My kingdom for Amityville’s regular reporter Peter Sommers (John R. Walker) to return!
  • Best Line 1: Winery owner Dallas (Derek K. Long), describing Karen: “She’s like a walking constipation with a hemorrhoid”
  • Best Line 2: Karen, when a half-naked, bleeding woman emerges from her closet: “Is this a dream? This dream is offensive! Stop being naked!”
  • Best Line 3: Troy, upset that Karen may cancel the wine tasting at his house: “I sanded that deck for days. You don’t just sand a deck for days and then let someone shit on it!”
  • Worst Death: Karen kills a Pool Boy (Dustin Clingan) after pushing his head under water for literally 1 second, then screeches “This is for putting leaves on my plants!”
  • Least Clear Death(s): The bodies of a phone salesman and a barista are seen in Karen’s closet and bathroom, though how she killed them are completely unclear
  • Best Death: Troy is stabbed in the back of the neck with a bottle opener, which Karen proceeds to crank
  • Wannabe Lynch: After drinking the wine, Karen is confronted in her home by Barnaby (Carl Solomon) who makes her sign a crude, hand drawn blood contract and informs her that her belly is “pregnant from the juices of his grapes.” Phillips films Barnaby like a cross between the unhoused man in Mulholland Drive and the Mystery Man in Lost Highway. It’s interesting, even if the character makes absolutely no sense.
  • Single Image Summary: At one point, a random man emerges from the shower in a towel and excitedly poops himself. This sequence perfectly encapsulates the experience of watching Amityville Karen.
  • Pray for Joe: Many of these folks will be back in Amityville Shark House and Amityville Webcam, so we’re not out of the woods yet…

Next time: let’s hope Christmas comes early with 2022’s Amityville Christmas Vacation. It was the winner of Fangoria’s Best Amityville award, after all!

Amityville Karen movie

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