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Necronos: Tower Of Doom (V)

“As said before, NECRONOS is by far not a flawless movie, but that doesn’t change the fact at all that it’s still helluva good fun from start to finish. If you’re a fan of no-holds-barred indie massacres, which literally drown the screen in a flood of crimson juice, you’ll sure as hell get exactly what you’re looking for when you put this movie into your player and watch Necronos and Goran torture, maim, dissect and brutalize one helpless victim after the other…”

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The gore-lovin’ brothers Marc and Lars Rohnstock have already gained some recognition among German splatter fans for their previous slaughter fests DUNGEON OF EVIL and GRAVEYARD OF THE LIVING DEAD. And now they’re back with another wicked-as-hell blood bath called NECRONOS – TOWER OF DOOM, which is by far their freakiest and goriest movie so far.

Blending over-the-top gore with a fair amount of medieval fantasy, NECRONOS tells the story of a powerful black wizard—the eponymous villain of the movie—who is about to create an undefeatable army of the undead for the Horned One himself (Mike Weishaupt). However, to fulfil his purpose and to build an invincible force of hell, Necronos (Thomas Sender) not only needs to team up with an evil sorceress (Manoush) in order to find a virgin witch known as The Chosen One (Saskia Neumueller), whose blood bears powers far beyond anything the human mind can grasp, but he also needs to create a so-called Berserker (Lars Rohnstock)—a superhuman warlord of the underworld, who will lead the Devil’s troops to victory and enslave mankind once and for all. Unfortunately, the creation of such a Berserker ain’t exactly a walk in the park and hence he sends his minion Goran, the Blood Demon (Timo Fuchs), down to Earth to kill all kinds of innocent people and collect a whole lot of bizarre ingredients that are needed for the creation of the hellish warmaster.

And well, that’s about it. From now on we hardly get to see anything else than the obedient Goran bashing in faces, cutting off limbs and ripping out intestines like a maniac until finally all components are gathered and the creation of the Berserker—whose rising is one of the most kick-ass effects in the whole movie—can begin. As you can see, the story of NECRONOS – TOWER OF DOOM is far from being profound and personally I’m pretty sure that it could easily have been told in 90 minutes as well (instead of two hours), but hey, in the end we shouldn’t forget that this is an over-the-top micro-budget splatter fest, so I guess we can turn a blind eye on most of the flick’s little short comings and just enjoy it for what it is: one of the goriest and bloodiest movies that have evolved from the German underground in 2011! And let’s be honest, if a movie like this flickers across your TV screen, I’m pretty sure that deep inside you’d even be a little disappointed, if you wouldn’t see any blatant overacting, stupid character decisions and crude effects at all. Ultimately, these are exactly the things that turned so many grindhouse films of yesteryear into timeless cult ‘n party flicks and in case of NECRONOS these lil’ flaws totally add to the movie’s entertainment value as well.

Nevertheless, one should not make the mistake and think of this film as a cheaply-made home movie, because that would surely not do it any justice at all. The Rohnstock brothers and the rest of the Infernal Films gang put a helluva lot of blood, sweat and tears into the making of this splatter epic and hence they’re able to present us lots ‘n lots of killer locations, costumes, props, sets and effects that are far above the average low-budget gore movie standards. And, to round the total trash flick armageddon off, NECRONOS is also jam-packed with nudity on the one hand and entertaining cameos by the who-is-who of Euro sleaze, trash and splatter on the other. The list of guest stars includes, among others, Andreas Schnass (DON’T WAKE THE DEAD), Marc Trinkholz (VIOLENT SH*T III), Timo Rose (BARRICADE), Marcel Walz (LA PETITE MORT), Magey Kalley (UNRATED – THE MOVIE), Annika Strauss (AVANTGARDE), Kim Sonderholm (TOUR DE FORCE), Martin Hentschel (GHOSTS OF SHERWOOD), Andreas Pape (LEGEND OF HELL) and even the infamous Jochen Taubert (DAS PIRATENMASSAKER)… and, of course, none of ‘em will still be alive when the film’s kick-ass theme song (arranged by Marc Trinkholz and sung by Andy Schnaas) rocks the speakers to shreds and the end credits roll across the screen!

As said before, NECRONOS is by far not a flawless movie, but that doesn’t change the fact at all that it’s still helluva good fun from start to finish. If you’re a fan of no-holds-barred indie massacres, which literally drown the screen in a flood of crimson juice, you’ll sure as hell get exactly what you’re looking for when you put this movie into your player and watch Necronos and Goran torture, maim, dissect and brutalize one helpless victim after the other. Sure, this film is as far from being for the easily offended as it can get, but then again, it’s a flick that’s been made by die-hard fans of over-the-top gore fests such as CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST and ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS, so I guess it’s no wonder that you’d rather see a Twisted Sister pin on Tipper Gore’s blouse than a PG-13 rating on NECRONOS’ cover. This being said, whatcha waiting for, Goran? Wield the axe of death and let the blood run red!

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Editorials

‘A Haunted House’ and the Death of the Horror Spoof Movie

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Due to a complex series of anthropological mishaps, the Wayans Brothers are a huge deal in Brazil. Around these parts, White Chicks is considered a national treasure by a lot of people, so it stands to reason that Brazilian audiences would continue to accompany the Wayans’ comedic output long after North America had stopped taking them seriously as comedic titans.

This is the only reason why I originally watched Michael Tiddes and Marlon Wayans’ 2013 horror spoof A Haunted House – appropriately known as “Paranormal Inactivity” in South America – despite having abandoned this kind of movie shortly after the excellent Scary Movie 3. However, to my complete and utter amazement, I found myself mostly enjoying this unhinged parody of Found Footage films almost as much as the iconic spoofs that spear-headed the genre during the 2000s. And with Paramount having recently announced a reboot of the Scary Movie franchise, I think this is the perfect time to revisit the divisive humor of A Haunted House and maybe figure out why this kind of film hasn’t been popular in a long time.

Before we had memes and internet personalities to make fun of movie tropes for free on the internet, parody movies had been entertaining audiences with meta-humor since the very dawn of cinema. And since the genre attracted large audiences without the need for a serious budget, it made sense for studios to encourage parodies of their own productions – which is precisely what happened with Miramax when they commissioned a parody of the Scream franchise, the original Scary Movie.

The unprecedented success of the spoof (especially overseas) led to a series of sequels, spin-offs and rip-offs that came along throughout the 2000s. While some of these were still quite funny (I have a soft spot for 2008’s Superhero Movie), they ended up flooding the market much like the Guitar Hero games that plagued video game stores during that same timeframe.

You could really confuse someone by editing this scene into Paranormal Activity.

Of course, that didn’t stop Tiddes and Marlon Wayans from wanting to make another spoof meant to lampoon a sub-genre that had been mostly overlooked by the Scary Movie series – namely the second wave of Found Footage films inspired by Paranormal Activity. Wayans actually had an easier time than usual funding the picture due to the project’s Found Footage presentation, with the format allowing for a lower budget without compromising box office appeal.

In the finished film, we’re presented with supposedly real footage recovered from the home of Malcom Johnson (Wayans). The recordings themselves depict a series of unexplainable events that begin to plague his home when Kisha Davis (Essence Atkins) decides to move in, with the couple slowly realizing that the difficulties of a shared life are no match for demonic shenanigans.

In practice, this means that viewers are subjected to a series of familiar scares subverted by wacky hijinks, with the flick featuring everything from a humorous recreation of the iconic fan-camera from Paranormal Activity 3 to bizarre dance numbers replacing Katy’s late-night trances from Oren Peli’s original movie.

Your enjoyment of these antics will obviously depend on how accepting you are of Wayans’ patented brand of crass comedy. From advanced potty humor to some exaggerated racial commentary – including a clever moment where Malcom actually attempts to move out of the titular haunted house because he’s not white enough to deal with the haunting – it’s not all that surprising that the flick wound up with a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes despite making a killing at the box office.

However, while this isn’t my preferred kind of humor, I think the inherent limitations of Found Footage ended up curtailing the usual excesses present in this kind of parody, with the filmmakers being forced to focus on character-based comedy and a smaller scale story. This is why I mostly appreciate the love-hate rapport between Kisha and Malcom even if it wouldn’t translate to a healthy relationship in real life.

Of course, the jokes themselves can also be pretty entertaining on their own, with cartoony gags like the ghost getting high with the protagonists (complete with smoke-filled invisible lungs) and a series of silly The Exorcist homages towards the end of the movie. The major issue here is that these legitimately funny and genre-specific jokes are often accompanied by repetitive attempts at low-brow humor that you could find in any other cheap comedy.

Not a good idea.

Not only are some of these painfully drawn out “jokes” incredibly unfunny, but they can also be remarkably offensive in some cases. There are some pretty insensitive allusions to sexual assault here, as well as a collection of secondary characters defined by negative racial stereotypes (even though I chuckled heartily when the Latina maid was revealed to have been faking her poor English the entire time).

Cinephiles often claim that increasingly sloppy writing led to audiences giving up on spoof movies, but the fact is that many of the more beloved examples of the genre contain some of the same issues as later films like A Haunted House – it’s just that we as an audience have (mostly) grown up and are now demanding more from our comedy. However, this isn’t the case everywhere, as – much like the Elves from Lord of the Rings – spoof movies never really died, they simply diminished.

A Haunted House made so much money that they immediately started working on a second one that released the following year (to even worse reviews), and the same team would later collaborate once again on yet another spoof, 50 Shades of Black. This kind of film clearly still exists and still makes a lot of money (especially here in Brazil), they just don’t have the same cultural impact that they used to in a pre-social-media-humor world.

At the end of the day, A Haunted House is no comedic masterpiece, failing to live up to the laugh-out-loud thrills of films like Scary Movie 3, but it’s also not the trainwreck that most critics made it out to be back in 2013. Comedy is extremely subjective, and while the raunchy humor behind this flick definitely isn’t for everyone, I still think that this satirical romp is mostly harmless fun that might entertain Found Footage fans that don’t take themselves too seriously.

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