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[Review] ‘The Great Wall’ – Big Dopey Monster Fun

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If The Great Wall had been made 20-some years ago, it probably would have starred Brian Bosworth, Antonio Banderas, and Rufus Sewell. My then 13 year old self would have eaten up every last minute of it with a huge grin on my face. After all, it’s basically a lighthearted, more fantastical version of The 13th Warrior. So how did it fair with 30-something Daniel?

Yep, I still grinned the whole way through.

This is a big, fun period piece adventure movie about an army of monsters trying to invade China. The film hits the ground running and doesn’t stop to give either the viewers or their surrogate characters, a pair of mercenaries played by Matt Damon and Pedro Pascal, a chance to catch breath. All too often genre pictures give the audience more information than the characters, which generally saps the tension out of the proceedings. Not so here. We learn things as William (Damon) and Tovar (Pascal) do.

It seems that, in addition to keeping out human threats, China erected its Great Wall to keep out a massive, possibly otherworldly horde of ravenous creatures at bay. The inhuman fiends show up to feed every 60 years and wouldn’t you know it, William and Tovar picked the absolute worst time to come to China. Talk about horrible luck.

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Outside of a couple of characters that aren’t long for this cinematic world, the only non-Asian members of the cast are the aforementioned Damon and Pascal, plus a super weaselly Willem Dafoe. They are all are playing greedy, self-centered garbage people. Coming on the heels of what our country has been through over the past year, it’s hard to argue against such a blanket judgement of our culture.

JING TIAN is Commander Lin Mae.

The rest of the players are comprised of Asian actors and actress, all but two of whom do not speak their dialogue in English. As a result, over half the film’s dialogue is subtitled. This is likely to be off-putting to at least a small chunk of American audiences, but as I’ll get into in a bit, this film wasn’t made for us.

While Damon and Pascal play well off of one another and dish out a healthy amount of comedic banter, the film really belongs to actress Zhang Hanyu (as General Shao) and Andy Lau (as Strategist Wang). These two, along with a few others, are front and center throughout the entire film and are very much the real heroes of the piece. In many ways, this plays like a project that was wholly made overseas and simply tossed in a few Hollywood actors to have North American release appeal.

Taking that particular feel even further is Matt Damon’s performance. A lot of critics are probably going to call his turn here “wooden” and they would necessarily be wrong. His character, William, is a mercenary who has spent his entire life on battlefields around the globe. Anyone who has seen even a single preview for this picture will know that Damon is brandishing a supremely odd accent in it. I have little doubt that his decision to do so stemmed from William growing up all around the globe, giving him an odd, but nondescript accent.

That’s not how it actually plays out in the film at hand, however. As someone who has grown up watching countless Japanese monster movies and Asian action films, it plays like the actor hired to play William was secured because he had a semi-recognizable name and was promptly dubbed. That might sound like a slam, and it is to a degree, but it gives the film an added slice of fun for me. Long story short? It feels like we’re watching a performance that amounts to “Matt Damon is Buff Fitwell as William the Mercenary”. Now you get my Brian Bosworth comparison above, because Damon absolutely feels like he’s giving an athlete-turned-action star performance here. Many will rightly hate this, but I kind of love it.

Global superstar MATT DAMON is William Garin.

I could probably ramble on about this film for another ten paragraphs. After all, I haven’t even touched on the monsters themselves, which are pretty cool. I also haven’t touched on the fact that this was directed by Zhang Yimou. Probably best known for his period piece martial arts films like Hero and House of Flying Daggers, Yimou knows how to make beautiful action films. He has done so again here. No big budget monster movie full of this much pulpy, dopey fun should look this good, but by god, it does!

This film shouldn’t exist in this day and age. It shouldn’t exist because Hollywood does not make these kinds of movies anymore. What sane studio hands a foreign director $150 million to go make a big, often lavish, period piece monster movie FX extravaganza? It’s sheer insanity, but the best kind. So why does it exist? Because it wasn’t made for us. This film has China written all over it and that is exactly where it will make its fortune. In fact, it already has. To date, The Great Wall has already racked up almost $225 million overseas, with over $170 million of that coming from China. Its release here is an afterthought. This too makes me smile.

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Hollywood movie-making is becoming an international affair moreso than it ever has before. Warcraft faceplanted here, but soared overseas. Pacific Rim made enough money abroad to get a sequel off the ground. Even this year’s xXx: Return of Xander Cage is poised to probably get a follow-up based on its overseas grosses. America is no longer the primary driving force behind moneymaking blockbusters and this is a good thing. With international interests now something that the studios are paying attention to, we’re going to start seeing a wider variety of tentpoles coming our way. Sometimes their U.S. releases will lead the pack. Sometimes their debut over here will simply be an after dinner mint, as with this film. Either way, as long as I keep getting handed triple digit-budgeted movies that are this fun, I don’t care. Keep them coming!

The Great Wall is no masterpiece. It’s not even a particularly great film. That said, boy oh boy is it a lot of fun. It’s a film about how greed tunnels its way in and destroys all that is good. It’s film about honor, loyalty, and self-sacrifice. It’s all of these things, while still also being a big adventurous monster flick. Give it a chance. If this sounds like your kind of jam, you’ll probably walk out of the theater smiling like an excited little kid again.

THE GREAT WALL

For more reviews, both for horror and non-horror films, be sure to check out our sister site, Cinema Runner!

Devourer of film and disciple of all things horror. Freelance writer at Bloody Disgusting, DVD Active, Cult Spark, AndersonVision, Forbes, Blumhouse, etc. Owner/operator at The Schlocketeer.

Editorials

Five Serial Killer Horror Movies to Watch Before ‘Longlegs’

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Pictured: 'Fallen'

Here’s what we know about Longlegs so far. It’s coming in July of 2024, it’s directed by Osgood Perkins (The Blackcoat’s Daughter), and it features Maika Monroe (It Follows) as an FBI agent who discovers a personal connection between her and a serial killer who has ties to the occult. We know that the serial killer is going to be played by none other than Nicolas Cage and that the marketing has been nothing short of cryptic excellence up to this point.

At the very least, we can assume NEON’s upcoming film is going to be a dark, horror-fueled hunt for a serial killer. With that in mind, let’s take a look at five disturbing serial killers-versus-law-enforcement stories to get us even more jacked up for Longlegs.


MEMORIES OF MURDER (2003)

This South Korean film directed by Oscar-winning director Bong Joon-ho (Parasite) is a wild ride. The film features a handful of cops who seem like total goofs investigating a serial killer who brutally murders women who are out and wearing red on rainy evenings. The cops are tired, unorganized, and border on stoner comedy levels of idiocy. The movie at first seems to have a strange level of forgiveness for these characters as they try to pin the murders on a mentally handicapped person at one point, beating him and trying to coerce him into a confession for crimes he didn’t commit. A serious cop from the big city comes down to help with the case and is able to instill order.

But still, the killer evades and provokes not only the police but an entire country as everyone becomes more unstable and paranoid with each grizzly murder and sex crime.

I’ve never seen a film with a stranger tone than Memories of Murder. A movie that deals with such serious issues but has such fallible, seemingly nonserious people at its core. As the film rolls on and more women are murdered, you realize that a lot of these faults come from men who are hopeless and desperate to catch a killer in a country that – much like in another great serial killer story, Citizen X – is doing more harm to their plight than good.

Major spoiler warning: What makes Memories of Murder somehow more haunting is that it’s loosely based on a true story. It is a story where the real-life killer hadn’t been caught at the time of the film’s release. It ends with our main character Detective Park (Song Kang-ho), now a salesman, looking hopelessly at the audience (or judgingly) as the credits roll. Over sixteen years later the killer, Lee Choon Jae, was found using DNA evidence. He was already serving a life sentence for another murder. Choon Jae even admitted to watching the film during his court case saying, “I just watched it as a movie, I had no feeling or emotion towards the movie.”

In the end, Memories of Murder is a must-see for fans of the subgenre. The film juggles an almost slapstick tone with that of a dark murder mystery and yet, in the end, works like a charm.


CURE (1997)

Longlegs serial killer Cure

If you watched 2023’s Hypnotic and thought to yourself, “A killer who hypnotizes his victims to get them to do his bidding is a pretty cool idea. I only wish it were a better movie!” Boy, do I have great news for you.

In Cure (spoilers ahead), a detective (Koji Yakusho) and forensic psychologist (Tsuyoshi Ujiki) team up to find a serial killer who’s brutally marking their victims by cutting a large “X” into their throats and chests. Not just a little “X” mind you but a big, gross, flappy one.

At each crime scene, the murderer is there and is coherent and willing to cooperate. They can remember committing the crimes but can’t remember why. Each of these murders is creepy on a cellular level because we watch the killers act out these crimes with zero emotion. They feel different than your average movie murder. Colder….meaner.

What’s going on here is that a man named Mamiya (Masato Hagiwara) is walking around and somehow manipulating people’s minds using the flame of a lighter and a strange conversational cadence to hypnotize them and convince them to murder. The detectives eventually catch him but are unable to understand the scope of what’s happening before it’s too late.

If you thought dealing with a psychopathic murderer was hard, imagine dealing with one who could convince you to go home and murder your wife. Not only is Cure amazingly filmed and edited but it has more horror elements than your average serial killer film.


MANHUNTER (1986)

Longlegs serial killer manhunter

In the first-ever Hannibal Lecter story brought in front of the cameras, Detective Will Graham (William Petersen) finds his serial killers by stepping into their headspace. This is how he caught Hannibal Lecter (played here by Brian Cox), but not without paying a price. Graham became so obsessed with his cases that he ended up having a mental breakdown.

In Manhunter, Graham not only has to deal with Lecter playing psychological games with him from behind bars but a new serial killer in Francis Dolarhyde (in a legendary performance by Tom Noonan). One who likes to wear pantyhose on his head and murder entire families so that he can feel “seen” and “accepted” in their dead eyes. At one point Lecter even finds a way to gift Graham’s home address to the new killer via personal ads in a newspaper.

Michael Mann (Heat, Thief) directed a film that was far too stylish for its time but that fans and critics both would have loved today in the same way we appreciate movies like Nightcrawler or Drive. From the soundtrack to the visuals to the in-depth psychoanalysis of an insanely disturbed protagonist and the man trying to catch him. We watch Graham completely lose his shit and unravel as he takes us through the psyche of our killer. Which is as fascinating as it is fucked.

Manhunter is a classic case of a serial killer-versus-detective story where each side of the coin is tarnished in their own way when it’s all said and done. As Detective Park put it in Memories of Murder, “What kind of detective sleeps at night?”


INSOMNIA (2002)

Insomnia Nolan

Maybe it’s because of the foggy atmosphere. Maybe it’s because it’s the only film in Christopher Nolan’s filmography he didn’t write as well as direct. But for some reason, Insomnia always feels forgotten about whenever we give Nolan his flowers for whatever his latest cinematic achievement is.

Whatever the case, I know it’s no fault of the quality of the film, because Insomnia is a certified serial killer classic that adds several unique layers to the detective/killer dynamic. One way to create an extreme sense of unease with a movie villain is to cast someone you’d never expect in the role, which is exactly what Nolan did by casting the hilarious and sweet Robin Williams as a manipulative child murderer. He capped that off by casting Al Pacino as the embattled detective hunting him down.

This dynamic was fascinating as Williams was creepy and clever in the role. He was subdued in a way that was never boring but believable. On the other side of it, Al Pacino felt as if he’d walked straight off the set of 1995’s Heat and onto this one. A broken and imperfect man trying to stop a far worse one.

Aside from the stellar acting, Insomnia stands out because of its unique setting and plot. Both working against the detective. The investigation is taking place in a part of Alaska where the sun never goes down. This creates a beautiful, nightmare atmosphere where by the end of it, Pacino’s character is like a Freddy Krueger victim in the leadup to their eventual, exhausted death as he runs around town trying to catch a serial killer while dealing with the debilitating effects of insomnia. Meanwhile, he’s under an internal affairs investigation for planting evidence to catch another child killer and accidentally shoots his partner who he just found out is about to testify against him. The kicker here is that the killer knows what happened that fateful day and is using it to blackmail Pacino’s character into letting him get away with his own crimes.

If this is the kind of “what would you do?” intrigue we get with the story from Longlegs? We’ll be in for a treat. Hoo-ah.


FALLEN (1998)

Longlegs serial killer fallen

Fallen may not be nearly as obscure as Memories of Murder or Cure. Hell, it boasts an all-star cast of Denzel Washington, John Goodman, Donald Sutherland, James Gandolfini, and Elias Koteas. But when you bring it up around anyone who has seen it, their ears perk up, and the word “underrated” usually follows. And when it comes to the occult tie-ins that Longlegs will allegedly have? Fallen may be the most appropriate film on this entire list.

In the movie, Detective Hobbs (Washington) catches vicious serial killer Edgar Reese (Koteas) who seems to place some sort of curse on him during Hobbs’ victory lap. After Reese is put to death via electric chair, dead bodies start popping up all over town with his M.O., eventually pointing towards Hobbs as the culprit. After all, Reese is dead. As Hobbs investigates he realizes that a fallen angel named Azazel is possessing human body after human body and using them to commit occult murders. It has its eyes fixated on him, his co-workers, and family members; wrecking their lives or flat-out murdering them one by one until the whole world is damned.

Mixing a demonic entity into a detective/serial killer story is fascinating because it puts our detective in the unsettling position of being the one who is hunted. How the hell do you stop a demon who can inhabit anyone they want with a mere touch?!

Fallen is a great mix of detective story and supernatural horror tale. Not only are we treated to Denzel Washington as the lead in a grim noir (complete with narration) as he uncovers this occult storyline, but we’re left with a pretty great “what would you do?” situation in a movie that isn’t afraid to take the story to some dark places. Especially when it comes to the way the film ends. It’s a great horror thriller in the same vein as Frailty but with a little more detective work mixed in.


Look for Longlegs in theaters on July 12, 2024.

Longlegs serial killer

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