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[Review] ‘The Mummy’ – Big Blockbusters Work When Studios Put Faith in Female Leads

If you’ve ever seen the “Inca Mummy Girl” episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, you might have an idea of what to expect from Alex Kurtzman’s The Mummy. In the fourth episode of the second season, Sunnydale High School participates in a cultural exchange program, and students from all over the world fly into sunny California to stay as a guest at the homes of various SHS students, including, of course, Buffy Summers. Buffy is assigned a boy named Ampata, but little does she know, an ancient Inca mummy princess has other plans. The princess, who was recently freed from her five-hundred-year-old tomb, takes on the identity of Ampata and begins picking off the boys of Sunnydale High, one by one. In order to survive, she lures the boys in with a kiss, then literally sucks the life out of them, growing stronger and more human with each victim she sucks down. Eventually, the “Ampata” sets her sights on sweet little Xander, Buffy’s best friend, but when it comes time to drain Xander of his youth, she hesitates – she can’t overcome her romantic feelings for Xander long enough to take his life away. Luckily, in Alex Kurtzman’s movie, his fierce female mummy has no problem preying on vulnerable men.

It all starts – surprisingly – in England in 1125 A.D. A group of priests bury the body of one of their dead in an old sarcophagus, but not before laying a glowing red crystal on his chest to be sealed in with his remains. Flash forward to present day England, and a group of construction workers accidentally burrow into this old room, finding dozens of ancient remains, leaving them to decipher what step to take next. That’s where Dr. Henry Jekyll comes in.

Played by Russell Crowe, Dr. Jekyll begins a voiceover as he tours the tombs, handing out a lot of information very quickly as he does – this is mainly how the movie goes. A ton of information, which is relatively easy to understand if you’re paying attention, is handed out to the audience all at once, very early on.

Apparently, in ancient Egypt, there once lived a beautiful warrior princess named Ahmanet. She was heir to the throne, and, as was evident by her unfathomable beauty, her quick skills on the battlefield, her sharp decision-making skills, and her seductive nature, nothing could stand in her way to officially become the most powerful person in the world. However, when her mother and father brought a new baby boy into the world, Ahmanet was shoved aside, and it was the little child who would become the next to rule because although he was technically younger, he was the male and she was the female. Ahmanet wasn’t about to let that stand.

Ahmanet called on the forces of darkness and asked them to aid her in her fight for power. Taking the darkness within her, Ahmanet was gifted a special sharp blade with a bright red ruby at the hilt, and reborn as a monster, using her newfound power and madness to end the lives of her father, mother, and baby brother in the quiet of the night while they slept soundly in their beds. In order for her ritual to become the greatest ruler of all could become complete, she had to create a male companion to serve alongside her, in her honor. She was to take her new sword, stab it through the chest of her chosen male, and take her rightful place on the throne, for now, and for always. Unfortunately, before she could complete her task, she was attacked, mummified while she was still breathing, and thrown in the cold earth to rot for centuries to come. Soldiers carried her body far away from Egypt, burying her instead in Mesopotamia, where mercury was dumped on her body for hundreds of years to keep her weak, and where hopefully, no one would ever find her. Cue Tom Cruise wrecking all of the ancient’s plans.

In modern day Mesopotamia, a.k.a. Iraq, Nick Morton (Tom Cruise) and his buddy Chris Vail (Jake Johnson) use their places in the military to travel around the world, steal ancient artifacts and sell them on the black market for profit. Their latest endeavor involves stealing a map from Nick’s recent romantic interest Jenny Halsey (Annabelle Wallis) in order to hunt down the treasure she seeks and pawn it off before she can ever get her hands on it. Much to their dismay, she catches up to them, but not before they accidentally uncover the burial ground for an Egyptian sarcophagus – a strange thing to find in the middle of Iraq. Out of curiosity by all parties involved, they bring the structure up the surface to see what’s inside, but what they don’t realize is that they’ve already played into the mummy’s hands – they have freed the primeval from her prison, the mummy has eyed Nick, and anointed him her “chosen one”. Can you feel the Buffy vibes?

Once all of the background is out of the way, the action can finally begin, and there are quite a few noteworthy moments – especially the plane crash. Before she can even be broken out of her tomb, Ahmanet begins controlling and tormenting those around her, getting into Nick’s head and bringing him under her thrall, and placing a spell on his best buddy Chris which turns him into an updated rendition of An American Werewolf in London’s Jack Goodman, as he appears throughout the film as an undead guide, poking fun at Nick’s misfortune and telling him which step to take next. Through her power, Ahmanet escapes the confines of her tomb, begins sucking down men’s lives left and right, and eventually gains human flesh again, so she can finally begin the hunt for her sword and stab Nick through the chest with the blade in order to welcome the undead spirit of Sepi into his body, making him undead as well, in order complete her ritual, and once and for all, become the most powerful being on the planet.

For the most part, The Mummy is admittedly a pretty goofy movie. If you’re looking for a film that honors the past black and white Universal Monster Movies with vigor, intelligence, and respect, you probably won’t find it here, but what it does have to offer is still very enjoyable. Tom Cruise plays such an absent-minded chauvinistic pig that it’s actually pretty hilarious and honestly, even empowering to watch Ahmanet use him and control him in order to get what she wants. She has the power. She is the destructor. She is warrior princess coming to claim her crown, he is just the means to end, and there’s nothing he can do about it. If that’s not a wickedly cool modern day fierce female character, then I don’t know what is. This is the kind of film where you wind up rooting for the villain, partially because Sofia Boutella is a strong sexy unstoppable priestess, and partially because it’s just nice to see the men run and hide for once, while the women are the ones hunting down their prey in order to attain and keep their powerful positions.

Sure, there are questionable moments within The Mummy. Why didn’t Dr. Jekyll morph into a terrifying monster instead of simply turning a shade of blue when his evil side took over? Why are we left with such a cliffhanger ending, other than to set up the eventual sequel and continue the universe? Why the second half of the movie seemingly slow down so much, trading in much of the action for more dialogue? However, despite these issues, it’s still a movie that has turned out to be much better than expected, and set up quite an exciting start to the Dark Universe, which, according to the lab they walk through at Dr. Jekyll’s will definitely include the Creature from the Black Lagoon and perhaps at some point, Dracula as well. 2017 is the year of the woman, and from Wonder Woman to The Mummy, it’s clear that females are becoming the character to revolve the story around; the actresses are the ones that we should be putting our trust in to lead our big blockbuster movies. What a time to be alive. What a time for a new and exciting Universal monster movie.

(L to R) Chris Vail (JAKE JOHNSON), Jenny Halsey (ANNABELLE WALLIS) and Nick Morton (TOM CRUISE) in The Mummy.



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COMMENTS

147 Comments
  • Vesuvian Villain

    I fell asleep. Did she say the movie fuckin sucks? That’s the only opinion I will accept. Negative and vulgar.

  • Ocelot006 .

    Pretty sure genitals don’t determine quality.

    But you know….girl power!!!! 😛

    • Vesuvian Villain

      Seems to be riding off a Wonder Woman high. Maybe got a little too excited, she forgot about Cruise, the biggest, wettest vagina in the movie.

      • Ocelot006 .

        It’s definitely that Wonder Woman high. I’m just enjoying the hilarity of seeing the same people that call bullshit on Catwoman and Electra failing because it starred women then go ‘Wonder Woman was a success because it starred a woman!’ It’s the same thought process. And it’s stupid.

        ‘Oh Hidden Figures was big because black!’ Well then why wasn’t Red Tails big?

        ‘Get Out was big because black!’ yeah remember how big Snoop Dog’s Bones was all those years ago? Meanwhile everyone pretends Screen Gems doesn’t have their factory producing always successful thrillers aimed at an ‘urban audience’.

        It’s a real insult to the actual filmmaking.

        They’re good movies. Thats the secret.

        • Cappy Tally

          “same people that call bullshit on Catwoman and Electra failing because it starred women then go ‘Wonder Woman was a success because it starred a woman!”

          Pretty sure it’s not the same people saying those two things.

          • Ocelot006 .

            How sure is pretty sure?

      • Creepshow

        This film appears to have a lot of sand in it. That’s not a good combo for moist whoopsie-daisies.

        • J Jett

          LOL! 🙂

      • J Jett

        WONDER WOMAN was a great movie though! just sayin’. 🙂

        • Vesuvian Villain

          That’s what I mean though. Haven’t seen Wonder Woman yet but it’s less about gender and more about it being a great movie, like the other guy said. One great movie with a female lead does not make every other one awesome. Mummy may have a strong female who can out-act Cruise, but so can most females. And humans in general. It’s a low bar, and Mummy is a shit movie. If Boutella comes out a star, that’s a positive, but the point is Wonder Woman actually IS a good movie, whereas Mummy is a garbage Tom Cruise movie with a possibly solid female performance.

    • Creepshow

      Porn begs to differ, sir.

  • Creepshow

    Allow me to read through the babbling bullshit for you…It’s crap. Your welcome.

    • Vesuvian Villain

      Thanks man, knew I could count on you.

      • moebius2249

        lol

  • Vesuvian Villain

    You are getting too old, but that doesn’t mean you have to waste your few remaining years watching shit films like this in a theater. Not even worth a Redbox. This is MAYBE torrent-worthy? Free still seems a bit much. What we need to do is figure out how to get someone to pay us to watch this.

    • The Fucked Up

      Easy, become a full time critic

      • Jessica_L_Byard

        Haha it’s funny that you think all critics get paid a bunch of money.

  • Is it a movie you want to root for the villain because he/she is an interesting, well written character or a movie you want to root for the villain solely because she’s female?

    • The Fucked Up

      Apparently the “hero” is a chauvinistic pig being wrangled by the villain. That pretty much sums up why I generally root voor the villains.

    • Ocelot006 .

      I think the answer is the latter.

    • ChampionOfLight

      Neither are characters you want to root for when you first meet them – they show the female Mummy do something horrible early on but you do feel somewhat sympathetic for her at around the middle point (which I could see as being a result of her using her sexuality to make you care) whereas Cruise starts out like a real piece of garbage early on but part of his story in this film is determining whether he is that type of person or if he actually has any good in him. Still neither are really ones you root for during the majority of the film.

    • Nahuel Benvenuto

      i think the reviewer is trying to say is that any movie is good if it has a female as protagonist, as senseless as it sounds

  • Christopher Nickerson

    Other reviews I am seeing are pretty negative (0 character building for either the heroes of monster in order to keep action scenes coming, Tom Cruise character boring, no horror…)

  • dukeblues

    I’ll pass. I prefer the black and white ones to this ultra modern action fest.

  • moebius2249

    Everything the media touches (including sports) now has a political angle.

    • HarryWarden

      Hell yes! It’s so fucking ridiculous and tiresome.

  • The Drucifer

    Any review that begins with a comparison to one of my least favorite Buffy episodes tells me everything I need to know.

  • The Mummy has less than 30% on Rotten Tomatoes and 38 on Metacritic.
    Shame on you Universal Studious, The Mummy would be a good horror movie instead this cheesy action film.

    • MODOK

      I’d qualify that by saying it could have been a good action film rather than a cheesy action film. It’s not the genre that’s a problem as much as the execution according to most of the reviews.

      But I’m still going to see The Mummy because I so desperately want those reviewers to be wrong, and for it to do well enough that Universal proceeds with its grand plans for the Dark Universe.

      Even if The Mummy is not a model of success, Universal can always tweak the formula to improve subsequent movies. But if the Dark Universe crashes and burns right out of the gate, that’s it. They may still make a couple more movies, but after that we might not see Universal return to these characters for a generation.

      • HarryWarden

        Didn’t it already crash and burn once? Dracula Untold was supposed to be the start of the Universe at one point. If this crashes, who is to say they won’t start over again with Bride of Frankenstein or The Invisible Man?

  • Ocelot006 .

    I need to know what in the hell Tom Cruise’s character does in this movie to deserve the label ‘chauvinistic pig’. Is the reason ‘he has a penis’?

    • ChampionOfLight

      No. He is a complete piece of shit when we are introduced to him. He develops as the film goes on but it is actually central to his character that he is a “soulless” prick when we first meet him and it’s not “just because he’s a guy”.

      • Ocelot006 .

        After seeing it, I still think ‘chauvinistic pig’ is a bit much. Sorry he didn’t marry Jenny after sleeping with her

        • ChampionOfLight

          No one suggested they are married or in a real relationship but he is a complete piece of trash for sleeping with her to steal from her and then attempting to pretend like he didn’t know her to discredit her claim believing she would be too ashamed to admit she had a one night stand with him. Yeah, he’s kind of the worst type of guy at the start of the film.

          • Ocelot006 .

            Sleeping with someone and pretending it didn’t happen? Yeah….not everyone does that….

          • ChampionOfLight

            I mean people that do are kind of garbage to begin with but this isn’t all he did nor is he doing it for any reason other then trying to dismiss her accurate claims. You are simplifying what he did as if it is common but it’s not. They intentionally made him a piece of trash at the start of this film.

          • Ocelot006 .

            It is very common. If you don’t believe so you need to get out more. Certainly none of us can relate to the treasure seeking aspect and stealing a map but yeah the sleeping with someone and pretending they hopefully don’t wanna talk about it too and yada yada…..as common as sand in the Sahara.

          • ChampionOfLight

            If it is very common to you then you have issues you need to work out because, no, that isn’t that common for adults and the whole doing it just to steal and attempting to shame her into denying her claim with it is kind of the part that makes the character a complete piece of shit at the start.

            No one is saying he is shit because he had a one-night stand. His actions around in and the attempt to manipulate the situation was what makes him an incredibly horrible person and none of that is common from respectable/normal non-shitbags.

          • Ocelot006 .

            Factoring in the uncommon factors of stealing a treasure map and not wanting to get in trouble with the military for blowing up a small town, can you blame the man? What else should the treasure hunting scoundrel have done?

          • ChampionOfLight

            What?

            Like – seriously? You understand this is a fictional character that is intentionally written to be unlikeable at the beginning of the film, right? And that is what this review called out.

            You arguing that the reviewer calling out the character for being a piece of shit and replying with nonsense like “they weren’t married!”, “this is really common!”, and now “what else should the treasure hunting scoundrel have done?” is absurd.

            You know Nathan Drake and Indiana Jones were never written like this, right? Like they never abandoned their post to loot ancient treasures for their own profit nor did they find out about these treasures by stealing the information from a woman they had a sexual relationship with and then attempt to shame them in order to keep their theft a secret. That’s the issue with the main character at the start – he is not the love-able rogue bandit or anything like that. He’s just a piece of garbage that occasionally does the right thing (sometimes by his own admission on accident).

            Yes, I can blame the fictional character for the decisions that they make and stand by through the beginning of the film because I have seen countless films that had characters that broke the rules and were out for themselves but written in a manner that was both more realistic to the idea that they weren’t actually a piece of garbage and could develop/change and that were simply charismatic. Nick Morton, at the start of this film, is not written that way. For plot reasons I understand why he was written the way he was but that doesn’t change that he is a complete piece of trash when the film begins and he didn’t NEED to be written that way to begin with.

          • Ocelot006 .

            Indiana Jones wasn’t written that way? Yeah I’m sure that that was a love punch Marion threw across Indy’s face in their first scene together.

          • ChampionOfLight

            You constantly try and argue something no one said. Who called it a “love punch”?

            YES – Indiana Jones WASN’T written that way. Show me where they reveal he had a one night stand with Marion just to steal a map so he can sell the item she was after for twice the value after abandoning his post and when called on all of this pretends he doesn’t even know her as an attempt to discredit her statement because he believes she’d be too embarrassed to reveal she had a sexual relationship with him.

            Oh? That never happened? Yeah, because Indiana Jones wasn’t written that way.

          • Ocelot006 .

            Then please tell me what the punch was for.

          • ChampionOfLight

            That’s not how this works. You are trying to argue Indiana Jones was written the same but you aren’t providing a shred of proof. You simply said “Marion punched Indy!”….okay…. and? Do you know what it was for? It’s starting to seem like you may not remember the film that well… and that would be especially true if you think it was because Indy did the exact same thing Nick did in this film… you know that he didn’t do any of that, right? Like they didn’t take Indy’s backstory and just apply it to a new character.

          • Ocelot006 .

            I mean yeah, Nick didn’t do exactly what Indy did. What Indy did was much fucking worse.

          • ChampionOfLight

            You don’t even know what you’re talking about. Indy was in a relationship with her until one day he split. That is the backstory presented in that film. That is not “much fucking worse” then the backstory of Nick in this film.

          • Ocelot006 .

            ‘I was a child. I was in love. It was wrong and you knew it.’

            What’s worse? Statutory rape or two consenting adults having screwball comedy bickering?

          • ChampionOfLight

            You’re an idiot.

            1. We are never given ages of either character in the film at the time they were in a relationship.

            2. You are writing off Nick’s choices as simply “screwball comedy bickering” and excusing his actions as “common”.

            3. You’re an idiot. We don’t know the context of Indy’s relationship with Marion but Nick and Jenny’s is explained right away AND it comes immediately after Nick abandons his post to steal for profit.

            You keep making failed comparisons for no purpose. Indiana Jones did NOT do the same things that Nick Morton did.

          • Ocelot006 .

            Oh gee I’m sorry we don’t have the exact ages but Marion referring to herself as ‘child’ and the two obviously not being the same age seems good enough confirmation of some good old statutory rape.

            I know Indy didn’t do the same thing. He did a worse thing.

            And I’m sorry. It is screwball comedy bickering. Deal with it.

          • ChampionOfLight

            The only one bent out of shape is you. We’re also discussing two fictional movies and your example is idiotically flawed as the actual ages of both matter in that scenario. You are making an assumptions pertaining to a single line of dialogue that isn’t clear while dismissing a very clear one as something it clearly wasn’t.

            Also ignoring that you don’t know the character ages – you also don’t know what year or location they were in and this both actually factor into whether what Indy did would be statutory rape.

            Seriously you are incredibly arrogant and only arguing to defend the actions of a different fictional character that was designed to be “a thief, physically capable, with a lack of soul” as described by the film.

            If you are going to make a valid counter you need some valid facts presented rather then making assumptions.

          • Ocelot006 .

            It is comical bickering. It’s comedic. It’s bickering. Therefore comical bickering.

            Yeah it’s an implication of statutory rape and yeah an implication of statutory rape is definitely not as much adventurous fun as two consenting adults bickering about some sex they had.

            ‘I was a child. I was in love. It was wrong and you knew it’ a young lady says to a man ten years older than she that she hasn’t seen in ten years. What the fuck more do you need?

          • ChampionOfLight

            No – that wasn’t comical bickering. The characters weren’t bickering about those events nor did the film make it comical. The comical bickering was in relation to the 15 seconds.

            If Marion was 18 and Indy was 24 it wouldn’t be statutory rape but she would still be “a child” that doesn’t understand her feelings. So, you know what I need – it to actually be clearly defined before you use it as an argument otherwise you sound idiotic.

            Again -NONE of that changes the Mummy situation so the flawed defense you have gone to doesn’t change ANYTHING.

          • Ocelot006 .

            It doesn’t change anything to you because you obviously refuse to budge on the massive statutory rape implication. Indy is ten years older than Marion. Indy was born in 1899. Marion in 1909.

          • ChampionOfLight

            No it doesn’t change anything because it has nothing to do with The Mummy.

            You are attempting to argue that the actions of one character are okay BECAUSE the actions of a DIFFERENT character in a DIFFERENT film EXCEPT as even you noted in your reply it is an IMPLICATION versus a fact.

            You’re still being a moron by dismissing facts from one film with your interpretation of events from another film entirely.

          • Ocelot006 .

            You are the one that originally brought up comparisons to Indiana Jones. Not me.

            And what a crazy defense of Jones’ actions. “Well at the time there where places in the world where the age of consent was as low 12.” There’s fucking places today where the age of consent is as low as 12. You are one sick puppy. ‘If it’s okay to fuck a 12 year old in Mexico, it’s okay for motherfuckering Indiana Jones to do it.’ Boy you are one with some major issues.

          • ChampionOfLight

            I said Indiana Jones wasn’t written like Nick Morton. And he wasn’t. We did not meet Indy when he was abandoning his post, forcing his ally to assist him with attempted theft of an item he discovered after stealing a map for a one night stand. Your comparison as an argument that they were the same is flawed for all the reasons I already listed and even from the fact that the Indy in a relationship with Marion was ten years before we meet the character. Not in the moment. You have continued to stick to your Indy defense but it makes no sense and doesn’t actually impact my original statement. Indy, as we met him, was in no way written like Nick as we met him.

            No – I never said that. You are projecting again rather then looking at facts. You are claiming that something you admit is simply an interpretation is factually “statutory rape”. I am not defend statutory rape, idiot, I am pointing out that you have no fact to back up your argument of it even being that as, factually, it is never called that and without knowing more details you couldn’t say it legally was at that time. That is a fact, not an opinion.

            You are the one that has brought up and tried to argue towards it being statutory rape despite no proof of that so if you think it is sick then why are you continuing to try and use it as an argument?

            I notice how you even gave up on the original discussion to begin with. You really haven’t made a SINGLE valid point in any discussion. You’re just so insecure over this reviewer calling a fictional character a name… it’s crazy… you’re crazy.

            Next time try to actually have a point or counter point or factual based defense otherwise there is really no point in you replying further as I’ll ignore it.

          • Ocelot006 .

            Indy slept with an underage girl. How is that not statutory rape?

            You gave up on the original argument when you couldn’t tell me why he wasn’t a chauvinistic pig.

          • ChampionOfLight

            I did tell you why. You argued it was “common” when it wasn’t and then completely changed your argument to this Indy nonsense. I never “gave up”. You, like now, never offered a counter point. Only bullshit.

            And I already answered without any additional details – you can’t say it actually is. As YOU also noted – the age of consent is different in different areas and at different times in History. This isn’t about agreeing with history – this is about a definition and by definition you can’t say what he did is actually statutory rape without details that you DON’T have.

            I appreciate your attempt at a real reply (sort of) but you actually just showed me how clueless you are and I’ve blocked you after this reply because your absurdly dumb. You’ve failed to make one point and continue to talk in circles ignoring actual facts.

            Sorry you’re butt hurt over how people feel Nick was portrayed at the start of the film but if you think his behavior was “common” or “comedic” then you have issues yourself and aren’t going to listen to reason or facts clearly.

            Later!

  • J Jett

    Kalyn, did you just spoil that Jake Johnson’s character dies and presumably early-ish in the film (for him to be the “undead guide”)? just a SPOILER WARNING would have been nice.

    • Ivan Camacho

      it does not count as a spoiler cause the movie spoils it for you in the first trailer when there is a plane crash in wich the mummy comes back to life and tom cruises character dies in that plane crash and comes back to life by the mummy…

      • ChampionOfLight

        That trailer did not show Jake’s character in the plane and shots in that trailer post the plane scene are missing the special effects that would indicate what happened to his character.

  • Ocelot006 .

    Just imagine the headline had it been a black lesbian woman.

  • J Jett

    just how big a cliffhanger ending are we talking about? i’m so fucking pissed with movies/tv shows ending or being cancelled with cliffhangers. SENSE 8 season 2 ended on a huge cliffhanger and Netflix cancelled it so fans of the show (like me!) will never get a resolution for the show. does anyone know how big the cliffhanger is in THE MUMMY?

    • ChampionOfLight

      I didn’t consider it a cliffhanger at all…. not everything is resolved but that is clearly because they are building towards an Avengers style movie in the future. It’s hard to be specific without crossing into possible spoiler territory. The best I can do is – main events are resolved but part of the resolution is clearly setting up something for a different story.

      • J Jett

        ChampionOfLight, thanx for the info/clarification! 🙂

  • NoGutzNoGory

    Great, I’ve just seen a good chunk of the movie perusing through this. Thanks.

    • Nahuel Benvenuto

      i dont get why they keep doing and allowing this stuff in this site, is SO amateur, just tell me if the movie is good or bad, dotn tell me the WHOLE story of the movie, i stopped reviews of movies i didnt watched already in this site because of that

  • Hank_Scorpio

    So in other words, “This movie rocks because of vagina!”

    Although that didn’t help the Ghostbusters reboot….

    • HarryWarden

      LMAO, pretty much. Critics are idiots who hold too much power nowadays. I wish we could go back to the days when critics really didn’t matter, the days pre-RottenTomatoes.

      • Nahuel Benvenuto

        imdb and rt are crap and irrelevant, if it makes you feel better

      • Ocelot006 .

        I’m trying to figure out what the purpose of critics is and I still barely have an answer. There’s always an article ‘Why Critics Aren’t Responsible For The Failure Of (Insert Movie)’. The question remains then: what the hell are they responsible for then? In this day and age where anyone can be a critic, what even does this title hold? Written film criticism has been fucking destroyed.

      • Jessica_L_Byard

        Film criticism has existed much longer than the internet has.

    • Ocelot006 .

      Don’t forget about Ghost In The Shell. Boy. Wasn’t that a hit…..oh…..oh no.

      Please keep identity politics out of film criticism beyond if that’s actually a theme of the film being spoken.

      We’ve already reached the deep end on SlashFilm where there was an article accusing people of racism for not having a parade for the black female director of that Silver Sable movie.

  • Weresmurf

    This is the first positive review I’ve read all morning. Every other ones slamming it as a bad movie.

    • ChampionOfLight

      I thought it was enjoyable enough. I had a few issues but none that would make me write it off as bad. Not what I was expecting on a certain level but I’m down to see where this all goes…

      • Weresmurf

        I’m not prejudging it myself. I intend to take my kid to see it. I’ve seen plenty of films slammed as bad that I enjoyed.

  • dduuurrrr dddduuuurrrr

    Good horror is dying because people so desperate for their resurgence are soft-balling bad movies.

    I’ll wait for It Comes At night, no one should see this crap.

    • Creepshow

      That’s what I’ll be spending my paper route money on this weekend.

      • The Drucifer

        I hate it when people are mowing their lawns and the monster tries to get me
        From the sewers. I usually hop a ramp and toss the paper in a mailbox to avoid said monsters. Running a paper route is hard.

    • Jada Maes

      Horror never dies, it just moulders in its coffin for a while. Independent horror is where the real talent is right now.

      • Nahuel Benvenuto

        this also happens in the video game industry, because everything costs so much now, they just play it safe, and is souless, instead, the independent developers with real talent and passion make way better things just because they want to tell a good story, and they do it a lot cheaper

      • Meisha’s Taint

        Totally! Let’s get Mickey Keating to make a better The Mummy reboot for like 800 bucks! He could do it in like a week and it would be amazing

        • Jada Maes

          Exactly, studios need to stop throwing away billions trying to be Marvel and embrace creativity again. Want a terrifying movie about the Mummy? Give 2 million to David Robert Mitchell or Jennifer Kent. Want an action movie? Ok, give 10 million to Ilya Naishuller. Those would be insanely high budgets for them, and low costs means better profit.

  • thedragon803

    I think I’ll just stay home and watch the Karloff original. In my theater, alcohol is served, smoking is most definitely allowed, and anyone caught texting gets punched in the dick until they pass out.

  • Shay Lauderdale

    This is one of the few positive reviews that I have found for this so far. I was disappointed from the beginning. We had 3 action Mummy movies already. Did we need another one?
    I guess Universal is in desperate need of a franchise since the Avengers/DC/X-Men/Star Wars movies are racking in all the dough…..That’s all this movie was released for, to make money with 3 or 4 future movies.
    But with horror movies being on top as well & more popular than ever, I would have loved a Classic Horror Characters franchise that stuck with it’s horror roots. Or at least shown some kind of appreciation of the original other than to just make money…..I have said my piece lol.

    • Grither 57

      Is “The Universal Monsters” the only franchise Universal owns? Couldn’t they reboot something else instead? Too late for that, I guess.

      • DarkBree

        Jurassic World and Fast and Furious.

    • DarkBree

      Universal has Fast and Furious and Jurassic World (they are big franchises now), but they are desperate in having a shared universe.

  • Nahuel Benvenuto

    stopped reading at the title which is like some kind of PC BS

    • Nahuel Benvenuto

      also, BD reviews spoil the whole movie

      • Jessica_L_Byard

        So you didn’t stop reading then?

        • Nahuel Benvenuto

          I dont care about this crap movie so i dont care about the spoilers of it

    • Nahuel Benvenuto

      also, the review is TOO long, probably because is telling the whole story of the movie

  • Mike

    This review was fucking awful. Reads like the blog of a 14 year old girl. As for Jekyll, contrary to what the League of Extraordinary Gentleman would have you believe, he isn’t Victorian era Hulk.

    • poopsadaisy

      Yep. When I read the “Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde” as a kid, I imagined Hyde just looked like a crazy savage, almost like a cave man. Definitely not a musclebound hulk.

  • sTikInsEkT

    its just top gun

  • Jack Derwent

    If they had to make a Universal Monsters extended universe they should take a page from ‘Penny Dreadful’ which makes the concept work of having different classic monsters in the same story.

  • Derek

    So zero skulls? Got it.

    • Grither 57

      Yeah, you noticed that too?

      • Jessica_L_Byard

        Do you need skulls to know what this review’s stance is?

        • Grither 57

          No, but it’s a traditional part of the reviews on this site, and the skulls are missing from this review. Also, for people who aren’t necessarily interested enough to read the post but are still curious to know what the reviewer thought, the skulls can be useful.

  • Trisha Tachanawa

    I know reviews can potentially carry spoilers but sheesh I feel like I don’t need to see the entire first act at all. Hopefully some day we can actual get a scary mummy film instead of an action adventure .

    • zombie84_41

      Hey watch the trailer for the movie. it spoils everything. And read this and I saved you 13$ that you can spend on whatever. Thank me whenever.

  • Chris Risdal

    The reviewer states that this film has strength in its females like ‘Wonder Woman’ but they must have not noticed that Tom Cruise’s side kick spends the majority of the film knocked out or as useless to the plot as possible. Also, the mummy being a female really doesn’t factor into anything, other than Tom Cruise didn’t want his gay thoughts to catch up to him this time.

    • zombie84_41

      LOL but wonder woman was fuckin amazing and even if you are a male can related too. This movie had some freaky looking egypitan lady who is even more freaky in real life.

  • Flu-Like Symptoms

    Sony would certainly beg to differ. Refer to Ghostbusters for more.

  • Meisha’s Taint

    “The Mummy suggests a speedy unraveling for the Dark Universe.” – Rotten Tomatoes

    These reboots were doomed from the second they started. We want HORROR movies. Not adventure movies. EVERYONE AT UNIVERSAL SHOULD BE FIRED. Maybe it’s time to reboot the entire board room first…….

    Don’t take your beloved horror movie franchises and turn them into adventure movies or buddy comedies or chase recent trends. MAKE A GOOD HORROR MOVIE. You people at Universal are tarnishing your once beloved movie icons

    • Grither 57

      They’ll figure it out eventually. I hope. It’s true that everything goes around and comes around, so at some point there statistically HAS TO be a backlash significant enough for them to take notice stop remaking and rebooting everything.

      • zombie84_41

        WTF is there to figure out LOL. Its not hard and they fucked it up what like 3 times now LOL. I think they had their chance.

  • quantumbleep

    LOL. SJWs are almost always HACK writers.
    This is just a review of Buffy with a detailed plot summary of The Mummy and a bit of “womansplaining” sprinkled throughout. Who do you think the majority of your readership is, self loathing male-feminists?
    Go back to tumblr, HACK.

    • Mike

      Right? Just awful.

  • Golic

    When did Anita Sarkeesian start writing reviews for BD?

  • Munchie

    I’ll be getting my horror news elsewhere if this reviewer continues writing for this site. What a joke.

    • Jessica_L_Byard

      You could just not read this specific writer. There’s a myriad of choices here.

  • Ghoulfather88

    Heavily biased gender politics and over-detailing the plot points of the film in one review?!? How ever did you manage to write such schlock? It’s almost impressive.

  • Court

    Wow. Worst review ever. Somebody please tell this writer how to do a proper movie review without spoiling the film and forcing politics into it.

  • WOLF

    I guess one reviewer had to like it…

    • zombie84_41

      Maybe they got paid a decent amount of money to like it cus I was falling the fuck to sleep. I saw it at work actually glad I only paid 6$ to see it too. So I can’t complain to much but still.

  • Matt P

    What the hell happened to this site? One of the stupidest and most poorly written reviews I’ve ever seen. Just downright embarrassing.

    • dirtysteve

      Whedon fangirls.

  • Tanner of Josh

    I’m a half glass full kinda guy, usually… but this glass was full of shit…

    • zombie84_41

      This movie sucked ass.

  • aFriendlyAgenda

    “Big Blockbusters Work When Studios Put Faith in Female Leads”

    If a female lead makes sense, not just pushing or trying to appeal to some kind of sympathy I’m supposed to have for feminism, thats what works for me.

    Thats what worked in Alien.
    There was nothing “feminist” about Alien, Ripley was just female and the last survivor.

    Maybe thats the kind of faith hollywood needs more of,
    instead of superficial propaganda like female Rambo’s or gender swapping.

  • Piesmagicos

    Kinda agree…was a alright movie…Was fairly fun adventure flick, felt alot like the last Dracula movie and Wolfman. Plenty of work needs to be done in the inevitable sequels to make it more fun or more horror driven. I hope they choose a path and stick with it. I dont think you can do both…at least it seems to be a hard mark to hit when you try. Also when did BD comment section become so viciously misogynistic…the mere mention of female empowerment leads to such a backlash now its really embarrassing. Nobody wants to comment on the actual movie or elements they dislike/like…nope…instead lets all ride the “rabble rabble rabble PC! rabble rabble ghostbusters rabble rabble women suck rabble rabble SJW rabble “….that being said i will say this review did really spell out a decent chunk of the movie heh. Here’s hoping they get it right for the next movies.

    • MODOK

      I know, it’s creepy. Horrorella gets the same treatment at AICN. I think there’s some people who are automatically a lot nastier and less forgiving when there’s a woman’s name on the byline. It’s like it’s reeeeally important to reaffirm one’s masculinity in the comment section of some random internet article.

  • Alex Harbie

    That headline is a load of horse crap This movie didn’t sell because the female mummy lead was what Universal was going for, it sold because of Tom Cruise, despite people hating his guts for his personal beliefs, this guy can sell a movie with his eyes closed. If Tom Cruise wasn’t in it, not many people would have given this a chance, and by the way, Wonder Woman, which is most likely where you had inspiration for that headline, sold because of the name alone, Gal Gadot didn’t sell that movie. If movies are going to be sold, they should be sold on the merit of everyone and everything involved in the creation of it, not because of female or male empowerment, at the end of the day, that will do women more of a disservice by saying it was because she’s a woman.

  • zombie84_41

    This movie is fucking garbage, once again if you wanta put a female lead make sure its good. There was no backstory on her once so ever. The action was cliche as anything. The movie felt rushed. I love female characters alot but this just wasn’t good. There wasn’t one good thing in this movie. I might actually hate it as much as that shitty ghostbuster remake. And somebody needs to tell whoever edits trailers to stop using their whole fucking movie in their trailer. Every movie does this now. What happen to the days when they show some cool scenes and thats it. Now we got 50 million trailers. Might as well just watch that and call it a-day. It wasn’t a fun movie IDK why everybody keep’s thinking it was fun. It was boring sloppy movie is what it was. At least I was entertained with brendan frasher ones expect the third one that one was shitty. But the first mummy with BF was excellent it was fun, funny. But this just no. First movie of 2017 I truly hated.

    • Master99

      I take it that you don’t like the movie from your many post, and that’s ok we all have opinions. As for her back story, that was revealed at the beginning of the movie ***Spoiler*** she was destined to become queen but her father got a woman pregnant and then her brother got her spot, she couldn’t give it up which lead to the deal she made and the curse that followed. While it wasn’t a long back story, there was one. I never thought the original mummy or the remake trilogy was scary in the slighest, I always thought of them as adventure movies, so I thought this movie was as decent way to thrown the mummy into the dark universe. I do however hate it when people try to make this all about the gender issue. I think both this movie and Wonder woman did a great job of making a movie with a strong female role, without rubbing it in our faces like the Ghostbusters remake did. However people like the author of this review are still trying to make it all about the gender thing instead of just letting it be about the story of the movie. We didn’t need people to inform us Ripley or Sarah Conner were women, it’s modern day reviewers and social media that is hurting movies nowadays.

      • zombie84_41

        Ya I have no problem with gender in films. I’m really happy that women are getting bigger roles in film’s now a-days. And i missed about 5 or so mins of the film maybe I missed that part, but I just felt the movie was sloppy and a bunch of stuff thrown together. I feel if they work hard on the next ones it could be the deal breaker if they do a shit job with what they did here and toss a bunch of stuff together. I feel we’ll have to wait another 4 years or whenever for them to do it again. Also I’m with you on that the mummy was never scary. BTW give me my Creature from the black lagoon already. I cant’ wait for this.

        • Master99

          The creature is by far the one I look forward to seeing the most. In fact we have seen all of the universal monsters thrown in recent movies except the creature (unless you count The Monster Squad which is around 30 years old) it’s time to bring him back.

          • zombie84_41

            I need the monster squad still for my 80’s collection. I did like that little nod in the mummy to the creature and judging by the look of it it looked dope. I hope it doesn’t suck when it comes out.

  • disqus_k39rnaVe8B

    Sick of this feminist crap.

  • thegreatiandi

    So based off this headline… This film was ” successful ” because it had this lady as the female lead? The film was barely a success per the numbers ( being saved by overseas ), and it had EVERYTHING to do with Tom Cruise’s star power he still has in the Asian markets….Not this female lmao.

    Yes, there needs to be more diversity in Hollywood…But let’s not pretend here. If Wonder woman hadn’t been in B VS S, a stand alone Wonder woman film… Regardless of who the lead was…. Would have been 2017’s Ghostbusters lol.

    • dirtysteve

      The whole Buffy shpiel at the start should have told you all you needed to know about the reviewer’s standards.

    • drunkensaint

      Wow you live in these comments don’t you. What… a… fucking… loooooooser lmao kys

      • thegreatiandi

        So the kid who is trying to answer every comment I have left over the two weeks…Says I live in the comments section?! LMAO…Nice one dipshit lmao.

    • drunkensaint

      Yo shut the fuck up before I slap your bitch ass!

      • thegreatiandi

        Your response to the feminist movement comment…Was for me to…Shut the fuck up… Before you slap me huh?

        Your age is showing lil guy.

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