I’d very much like to take the opportunity to introduce you to a new feature of ours, something I affectionately refer to as our Virtual Vixen of the Month (the alliteration’s a nice touch, am I right?) Thirty years ago video game characters were made up of various shapes, we had a partially eaten pie that was Pac-Man or a simple triangle that was your tiny ship in Asteroids. Then came the 90’s that brought with it 3D gaming, pioneered by the likes of Doom and Super Mario 64.
Over the last decade the gaming industry has fought to be respected by the public and outgrow the long-standing position many non-gamers have that video games are for children. The hardware is cutting edge and some games have bigger budgets and teams than major Hollywood blockbusters. But despite this growth the industry still finds itself failing miserably in developing interesting characters that don’t fit snugly in the far too common bulky space marine and scantily clad busty heroine molds. Unless they’re insanely talented, intelligent or manage to woo me with their womanly prowess there won’t be any Bayonetta proportioned females in this series, oh no sir. Instead we’ll be looking at women who bring something intellectual to the table, women who kick ass. take names, or impress in some other way. This month’s Virtual Vixen manages all of the above, she is the saucy Spartan soldier Catherine, a 22 year-old femme fetale with a robotic arm and a talent for gadgets. If you don’t mind a woman who can kick your teeth in then Kat could very well be the woman of your dreams.
Kat’s all about the technology, alien or otherwise, and can do probably anything with a computer. She’s like the MacGuyver of the Noble 6 team and is one of only two remaining survivors of the original team, alongside Carter. So hopefully you don’t mind a woman who can kick your ass and hack your laptop to find your depraved cache of various pornstuffs.
Now, I like to keep things classy so I’m definitely not going to mention her firm, robotic grip with any hint of sexual innuendo. Why? Because that would be wrong and immature, but it’s there if you’re into that sort of thing, and I know you are. If you’re not of the… brawny persuasion, being with someone who’s more than capable of protecting your frail form could quite possibly come in handy. Or maybe you don’t fall into the same category many gamers, geeks and nerds do and you’re more than capable of handling bullies yourself. In that case, it’s nice to have back up.
Unfortunately Kat comes with a heavy load of baggage since she blames herself for the death of former Noble 6 teammate Thom, who died in an operation she planned. This same mission also claimed her right arm, which she now uses to kick loads of shiny blue alien ass. The losses she’s had to endure in battle along with the brutal Spartan training has forced Kat to form a cold, calculating persona that displays little emotion. We did get to see a gentler side of her when Kat had a chat with Carter in Halo: Reach; it’s there, it’s just buried under layers of war-hardened fatigue.
I don’t know about you but I get the sense that Kat’s the kind of gal who wouldn’t mind if you wanted to order pizza and have your dude friends over to play video games for hours on end. Hell, she might even join in on the fun though I don’t suggest playing shooters lest you lose the only possible activity where you could show off your undoubtedly mad skills.
Sadly, this commendation is a posthumous one since she fell not long before Reach in the recent Halo game (belated spoiler!).She might have fell while trying to save a planet from immanent destruction, but long before that many lonely gamers were met with that accent and green eyes and instantly fell for her. That folks is why Catherine-B32 of the Noble 6 team is our very first Virtual Vixen of the month.