Man, remember the first time you saw Jason Goes To Hell? Or, more specifically, the last 10 seconds? It was every horror fan’s biggest wet dream come (almost) true. But what about the 90 minutes before that memorable shot, did it satisfy Jason fans like BC? Read on to find out as we start to wind down on our epic 13 part retrospective on this beloved series.
But what about those who grew up in the Jason-starved 90s? The only Jason films they might remember in theaters are the ones where he fights Freddy or goes off into space. The remake may be their first real introduction to the hockey masked behemoth that stalks teenagers at a place known as Crystal Lake. So for them, Bloody Disgusting and Horror Movie A Day would like to present this retrospective series: 13 Days Of Jason. Each day leading up to the remake’s theatrical release, BC will be showcasing one of the original films, with trivia, factoids, thoughts, and his own full blown review.
Bloody will also be presenting a few other articles that highlight some of the series’ traditions, such as the lovesick nerd character and Jason’s habit of using unique weapons. Because even if you don’t agree with BC’s assessment of each film, there’s one thing we can all agree on: Jason fucking rules.
AKA: “The one without Jason”
RELEASE: August 13, 1993 (1,355 theaters)
PLOT: Sometime after the events of a few movies that we never got to see (which would detail how Jason grew back up and made his way back to Crystal Lake from New York), Jason is blown up by a bunch of SWAT guys. But some doctor eats his heart (just go with it) and becomes possessed by Jason’s soul. The movie then rips off The Hidden for a while before Jason is finally reborn (complete with all of his wounds and half-mangled hockey mask), only to be killed a few minutes later by a magic dagger and some giant puppet arms. An in-joke then frustrates fans for a decade.
THOUGHTS: Nonsensical “mythology” aside, it’s actually not too bad of a movie as a stand alone thing… but where the fuck is Jason? Come on, guys! At that point it had been 4 years since his last adventure, and they send him off (pfft) in a movie that he only actually appears in for like 10 minutes? Fuck that. At least his makeup is pretty great when you see it, and it’s also the most “quality” movie of the entire series (at that point), with actual production value and established actors and things like that (it certainly looks like it cost more than it did – the budget was actually lower than that of a few other entries).
(Read BC’s full review at Horror Movie A Day)
BEST KILL: The whole diner massacre is pretty awesome. Not-Jason breaks a dude’s arm in half, smashes a fat woman’s face in, and tosses another guy on a grill. Then he squeezes a girl’s head until her brain shoots out. If it was actually Jason in the scene, it would probably be his best mini-spree in the entire series.
MOST “HUH?” MOMENT: Homoerotic shaving, anyone? Actually the whole movie’s kind of like that: Kane Hodder’s guard character takes an awful long time to pat down everyone that comes into the morgue (why is it so high security anyway?), and Creighton Duke’s jail cell scene with John LeMay has probably raised a few eyebrows as well. Say what you will about the movie, but you gotta admit it has a wonderfully quirky personality.
FUTURE STARS: Nothing earth-shattering, but a couple minor folks you may recognize pop up; including Leslie Jordan (who was a frequent guest star on Will & Grace), Steven Culp (Desperate Housewives), and Rusty Schwimmer (Perfect Storm).
TRIVIA: There’s a deleted bit that has never appeared on the DVD or anything. During the (awesome) opening sequence, the girl was going to spin around and shoot Jason with a small gun right before the SWAT guys show up. It would have been a way more awesome moment had they left it in (you can actually see the gun in her right hand as she runs for cover). Also – Crystal Lake is moved from New Jersey (more or less the accepted locale) to Connecticut.
Check back tomorrow for Jason X!
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