[BD Caption Contest] Opening Up A New Barrel Of Quotes!

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Wow. You guys really killed it this week. Over 300 submissions! Let’s get to 400 this week! It’s more work for me to go through but I like the enthusiasm so it’s worth it.

First Prize is our MYSTERY PRIZE (this week it consists of 2 DVDs and 1 Blu-Ray). Winner is Robertrand with “You saw ‘The Sorceror’s Apprentice’? Then I owe you $12.50.” Please DM me your US mailing address (no PO boxes).

Rules:

1. We pick a still from a movie. It’s included after the jump. You head to the comments section and submit your best one-liners, zingers, pathos riddled couplets etc…

2. You can enter as many times as you like and submit as many captions as you want, but each caption must be in a separate comment. Otherwise it will be too hard to tell where one caption ends and the other begins. Your entries can be posted anytime during the first five days after the still is announced (you don’t want to submit your winning zinger after we’ve picked the winner). Also any racist, sexist, homophobic or generally hateful jokes will be disqualified. You don’t have to be insanely PC – just use your best judgement.

3. We pick the winner and announce them and their winning caption when the next photo in the contest is posted. We will address you by your BD Infected name. You can then DM me your address and I will send you your prize in a timely manner (i.e. you should have it in about a week). You must be a US resident to receive your prize!

First Prize is another MYSTERY PRIZE grab-bag of Blus and DVDs.

Head inside for this week’s picture!

 
Source: Bloody Disgusting
  • http://www.facebook.com/secretusername Shad Youngblood

    OMG, It’s a naked Amy Winehouse zombie!

    • http://www.facebook.com/kevin.mills.167 Kevin Mills

      Can you believe how bad that movies “Feast” (awkward silence)..that was my son!

    • Knalkop

      Necrophylia is one thing………but with a tranny?

  • purplek

    He sounds pretty upset about your Asian impersonations. Yellow zombies don’t take shit.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ErnieT0770 Ernie Trinidad

    Frank and Freddy are scarred for life when they stumbled across Burt’s copy of “Octomom: Home Alone.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003525301662 Martin Collins

    not another i love the 80′s special vh1 pllllllllllease!!!!!

  • FreddyKrueger13

    Thats the ending to The Grey?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/terry.smith.5667 Terry Smith

    Did you say they are remaking the Evil Dead????

  • FreddyKrueger13

    Yeah that looks infected

  • Full_Effect_Ed

    This is how Bath Salts feel??

  • FreddyKrueger13

    I can’t believe they’re making another Chucky

  • Full_Effect_Ed

    “I can’t believe your son fucked up Piranha 3DD, all you needed was more tits and gore…MORE TITS AND GORE”

  • gian1979

    These women looked alot better a the bar last night…right????

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1504852851 Max Dayhoff

    the thing that always gets me with the living dead, Freddy, is their fashion sense!

  • LAPD

    Freddy “Frank, I can’t believe I knocked up Snooki…..”

    Frank “Ewwwwwwwww……”

  • WalkingDeadGuy

    “This Octo-Mom self pleasure video does nothing for me, let’s go back and stare at the dancing punk chick in the cemetery.”

  • sixxer

    Freddy, “I Knew that yellow guy was hung, but not in that way, Christ Frank!”
    Frank, “Oh god, it looks like a giant elbow macaroni…”

  • zombieholic

    Frank: Hey, it smells like my dick!

  • zombieholic

    Freddy: Two bucks says it’s still warm.

  • http://www.facebook.com/zoranface Zoran Gvojic

    Tommy Lee Jones does not age well…

  • bonger

    Got Milk?…Take the Diarrhea!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/craig.hellion Craig Hellion

    ohhh no Linnea Quigley is getting naked again….ahhhh doesnt she know shes 100.

  • zombieholic

    Miss Stone please close your legs!

  • http://www.facebook.com/zoranface lowcarbcomedy

    Twice the girls and twice the cups does not make this any better.

  • frankstark

    hey frank i just saw betty white naked
    frank:ohhhh goddddd

  • Slacker2387

    “Oh my god, Its revolting. What is that?”
    “I think Its Joan Rivers without makeup”

  • EvilHead1981

    “She gave him a WHAT?!”

    Burt: “Hey boys, does THIS look infected to you?” (unzips his pants)

  • Xtremist4ever

    Freddy : You mean they’re gonna make a sequel to this movie and expect us to return and play two totally different characters?!?!?!!

    Frank : OHHHH GODDDDDD!!!!!!!

  • BornVillian

    I don’t know what I was expecting when you asked If I wanted to go to a donkey show.

  • BornVillian

    Ugh it was one of those wet farts you can taste.

  • BornVillian

    Jimmy theres only three skeletons hanging? Wheres the 4th one….Oh Dear Gawd!!!

  • Wolvenmist

    Why would you buy a movie from The Asylum? Why?

  • http://www.facebook.com/joshua.turney.58 Joshua Turney

    Viewers reactions to George A. Romeros Survival of the Dead

  • http://www.facebook.com/joshua.turney.58 Joshua Turney

    “What do you mean they’re remaking Twilight?!”

  • frankstark

    freddy: i just saw battleship
    frank: OHHHHH GODDDDDDD

  • frankstark

    frank and freddy’s reaction after seeing the movie the tree of life

  • pyrepunk

    Freddy: “What the hell was in that tank?”

    Frank: “Beiber Fever!”

  • SgtPepin

    We need topical cream!

  • http://www.facebook.com/TheSorrowOf7Skulls Marques Cremeans

    Freddy: What’s going on over there?

    Frank: A marathon of recent Adam Sandler movies.

    Both: (think Darren Ewing in Troll 2) Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=721968341 John Lee

    “I’d still hit it…”

  • SelfishMan912

    dear diary: we watched “The Miracle of Birth” in health class today…

  • secretsquirrely

    “They made you watch Alien 3…WITHOUT the director’s cut selected?!”

  • secretsquirrely

    The world’s reaction to Michael Bay helming the Ninja Turtles reboot.

  • Mayday

    OMG! It’s a tape of Snooki giving birth! That’s the most revolting thing ever!

  • frankstark

    freddy: hey frank i just saw jack and jill with tina last night and it was the worst think i have ever seen.
    frank: oh ya freddy, i just saw that’s my boy with burt and that was the “worst” thing i ever seen.so you better watch your tongue boy if you like this job.
    freddy: like this job. seeing that movie is not my job.

  • bonerghost

    “Alright guys, for this scene. I need the look of dread on your faces. Lets imagine for a moment Roseanne Barr laying nude across this table. Come on guys, she’s ready for the Midnight Meat Train!”

  • Full_Effect_Ed

    FREDDY: I went to go cremate Jason but I fucked up!
    FRANK: What the fuck are you talking about??!!

  • Raze55

    Every mans reaction to the announcement of the Chaz Bono Sextape.

  • tomster6758

    If I told you once I told you a thousand times. LAY OFF THE MEXICAN FOOD!

  • zombie4ever

    Oh My God another episode of the Kardiashians

  • zombie4ever

    No No No say it aint so Obama is running again

  • zombieholic

    Burt! We are not proctologists!

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    I hate having to sit through this part just to get to Linnea Quigley’s nude scene.

  • jstalte

    You saw “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice”?? Ugh…

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    This isn’t part of the contest: hey evan, would it kill you to throw out some honorable mentions every week? you know, spread the love around? kinda feeling unappreciated here.

    • http://www.facebook.com/christie.schmitz Christie Schmitz

      I agree

      • Skull-And-Crossbones

        you reading this, evan? now there’s 2 of us hahaha. the prizes are cool and everything but what really matters most is if we’re making you laugh. that’s all i care about lol.

        • EvanDickson

          Noted! I will start in the next round!

  • Dutchess

    “Oh my God, Becky…Look at her butt…”

  • Dutchess

    “How the Hell are we in the sequel!?”

  • Dutchess

    “It’s almost as ugly as that pocket protector, Frank!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/marvin.cooladge Marvin Cooladge

    FREDDY “It’s not gonna fit, it’s not gonna fit, it’s not gonna fit… oh-my-dear-lord-jesus, it fit.”

    FRANK “And that, Freddy, is why she’s a Kardashian.”

  • possum-master

    They made how many sequels to this movie?!?

  • mairsil

    What is Michael Bay doing to those poor turtles?!

  • mairsil

    How’d you get the beans above the frank?

  • mairsil

    Ew, that is just bloody disgusting…

  • lhcameron

    “HE PUNCHED THE HIGHLIGHTS OUTTA HER HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!” -Scott Pilgrim Vs The World

  • youvegotredonyou

    So that’s two girls, one cup for ya….

  • http://www.facebook.com/joeted.huffor Joe Ted Huffor

    Oh dear God, is that…Russel Brand coming this way? Quick, Freddy, before he sees…too late.

  • mcluskyism

    So this is A Serbian Film…

  • mcluskyism

    Reaction to Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

  • timpostor

    Tosh struggles to come up with this week’s web redemption

  • egaltt23

    Gah! A piranha took his manhood!

  • EvilHead1981

    “Did you guys know that Kristen Stewart’s the highest paid actress?”

  • EvilHead1981

    Platinum Dune’s is prepping a Return of the Living Dead reboot!!!

  • EvilHead1981

    You guys up for a sequel?!!

  • EvilHead1981

    “Is that a banana in that yellow guy’s pants, or…. wait, he’s not wearing any pants!!!”

  • EvilHead1981

    I saw the future, and it’s called “Rave to the Grave”.

  • frankstark

    frank and freddy’s reaction when they saw the thing prequel

  • frankstark

    frank and freddy’s reaction after seeing the devil inside

  • frankstark

    frank and freddy’s after seeing creature

  • frankstark

    freddy: did you know they moved the G.I.Joe sequel to march of 2013 to in some 3D
    frank: OHHHHHHH GOOOODDDDDD

  • frankstark

    frank and freddy’s reaction when seeing rock of ages

  • frankstark

    freddy: hey frank, they are now calling it teenage alien ninja turtles then teenage mutant ninja turtles
    frank: OHHHHHH JJJJJEEEEESSSSUUUSSS

  • http://www.facebook.com/geoffcw Geoff. W.

    Freddy: Crap on a crotch! I totally forgot it was picture day!
    Frank: My mom loves it when I smile like this.

  • http://www.facebook.com/geoffcw Geoff. W.

    Frank: Sorry if my hands a little cold. I wasn’t expecting to do a prostate exam… ever.

  • http://www.facebook.com/enjoyablenightmare Brendan Graham

    They were not horrified based on the fact that Snooki is pregnant, but the fact that someone actually wanted to sleep with her.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002589256633 Logan Rogers

    what you look like when you watch the sorceror’s aprentice.

  • turtlenipple

    Octomom is doing porn?

  • turtlenipple

    You call this gruyere?

  • turtlenipple

    She did what with a crucifix!?

  • turtlenipple

    2 girls 1 WHAT!?

  • udiggity

    what are they doing with that cup? ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

  • udiggity

    Where did she get those ping pong balls from?

  • udiggity

    This isn’t what I wanted when i looked up tubgirl!

  • NecRomancer

    “Oh god no, THAT’S The quote that won first prize!?”

  • steveNspace

    Apparently they just had a visit from Samara.

  • steveNspace

    The aftermath of watching Hostel III.

  • Frankdawg48

    This could be our last night on Earth. You don’t want to die a virgin, do you?

  • Frankdawg48

    What the hell is that smell?!?!

  • Frankdawg48

    OOOHHHHH GOOOOODDDDD NO, it smells like, like a used diaper… filled with… Indian food. Oh, excuse me…

  • Frankdawg48

    What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair…

  • Frankdawg48

    It’s a formidable scent… It stings the nostrils. In a good way

  • Frankdawg48

    Cry ‘Havoc’, and let slip the dogs of war, that this foul deed shall smell above the earth with carrion men, groaning for burial…

  • Frankdawg48

    The best smell in the world is that of the man you love…

  • Frankdawg48

    If you can’t smell the one you love, smell the one you’re with…

  • CDevil

    I didn’t think it was POSSIBLE for Michael Jackson to look any worse!

  • Frankdawg48

    This was a particularly bad case of somebody being cut in half.

  • CDevil

    What do you mean, “the only way to stop it is to eat it”???

  • CDevil

    She took WHAT and put it WHERE???

  • CDevil

    Oh, gawd… how can he eat that?

  • CDevil

    Eww… I KNEW he wouldn’t make it to the bathroom!

  • CDevil

    I don’t care how much I need the money, I do NOT like this job THAT much!

  • thalazy

    So that’s what happens when you hold in a fart for a week.

  • Thelovedones154

    Obama actually doing it the Dream act we’re finally free!
    Freddy: But we still got 3 more years of keeping up with the kardashians!

  • thalazy

    What in the hell is Sandusky doing to that little boy over there?

  • russellg79

    Is it already time for the Olympics again?

  • russellg79

    This is the typical reaction to most Nic Cage movies.

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.zulli Thomas Zulli

    I am begging you Joan Rivers, please put clothes on

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.zulli Thomas Zulli

    You are never too old to be shown the birds and the bees

  • MaxTorque

    “Keep smiling…” “But he doesn’t have any pants on.” “I KNOW, just keep smiling….”

  • http://www.facebook.com/thomas.zulli Thomas Zulli

    This is why you were told to never make funny faces

  • J-SiN

    Frank and Freddy watch Creature.

  • FahKauffBono

    You did WHAT to your sea-monkeys??!

  • niceguyeddie1971

    EWWWWWW! Why is Mr. Disgusting dressed in drag?

  • Daddy-the-Baddy

    What the hell is Michael Jackson doing with Bubbles ?!?!?!?

  • http://www.facebook.com/michael.j.trimble Michael Trimble

    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    Why do we have to watch a Nicole Cage Marathon?
    I would rather be eaten by zombies…..

  • zombieholic

    Burt, we’re pretty sure that is NOT how you kill zombies!

  • zombieholic

    Burt just told them that he was on the football team at Penn State.

  • chade

    First time ever watching gay porn.

  • chade

    The severed arm has a hold of our nuts. Aaahhh.

  • chade

    Frank I really hate this job.

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    That’s the last time I look for a date on craigslist

  • chade

    I’m pretty sure the yellow zombie just farted.

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    “Quick, give her some brains already damnit!”

    “I don’t have any, how ’bout you?”

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    I swear, she looked much better on her myspace photo.

  • Skull-And-Crossbones

    Tonight on ‘To Catch a Necrophile’…

  • thezombieepidemic

    What the f**k happened to Roger Ebert’s face?!

  • thezombieepidemic

    I knew these Sleepaway Camp kids were crazy, but this is getting out of hand.

  • thezombieepidemic

    Dear god, what is that centipede doing to Kiki?

  • Beezle2112

    Did he just stick that jar completely up his… OH GOD!

  • juggalochef2399

    They’re paying us $7.50 an hour for this!? Forget that, send more paramedics!

  • flesheater24

    WOWWWWWWWW look at the size of thoseeeeeee tits

  • cybro

    Oh my god, Betty White is in this issue of Playboy…

  • http://www.facebook.com/christie.schmitz Christie Schmitz

    Freddy look….it’s two zombies one cup!!!! *insert sick noises*

  • http://www.facebook.com/christie.schmitz Christie Schmitz

    There’s another Nicholas Cage movie coming out?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/christie.schmitz Christie Schmitz

    Justin Bieber is a guy?! Freddy, it’s a trap!!!!

  • Evan3

    “We need a LOT more practice on our “oh” faces.”

  • ilovejohncarpenter

    HOLY HELL!! Would you please turn off that Octomom porno?!?! I think I’m going to puke…..

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001539834880 Michael Sanchez

    they’re going to remake what?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001539834880 Michael Sanchez

    okay next time I’m going to get my mom cremated I know I wanted to see her but my god she should shave!

  • thebogeymaniscoming

    That’s a Sandusky?

  • PainofMind

    They’re eating her…..then they”re gonna eat us…in the sequel…..Again……OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

  • DrSarcausticus

    “I warned you two not to dick around with that Chinese finger puzzle. Now where’s my bone saw?”

  • DDexGaige

    Oh Shit! This doesn’t look good.

  • DDexGaige

    Holy F*ck! A dead girl is coming out of the TV. I’m Out.

  • http://www.facebook.com/mark.krijgsman.1 Mark Krijgsman

    just when you thought the micheal jackson’s thriller dance couldnt be more stiff, he just went rigor mortis

  • schizophrenic-kyle

    Yes dear, that dress does make you look fat…

  • juggalochef2399

    Hey Frank, know what would really impress me now? If that pocket protector could save us!

  • juggalochef2399

    OH CRAP George Romero would never be that sick!

  • http://www.facebook.com/david.hollingsworth.3348 David Hollingsworth

    Oh God, more news about Lindsay Lohan

  • http://www.facebook.com/david.hollingsworth.3348 David Hollingsworth

    If they remake Return of the Living Dead, I’m going to eat you.

  • http://www.facebook.com/david.hollingsworth.3348 David Hollingsworth

    This is what happens when you watch Reality TV.

  • StuntmanJames

    Where is she sticking that corn cob???

  • Krug09

    Don’t eat those bath salts!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jess.a.stanard Jess Stanard

    That is not how babies are born man! She has a Stargate for a vagina!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jess.a.stanard Jess Stanard

    I told you to pick a movie that we could relate to. There is no way I relate to The Human Centipede. Do you see where one person ends and the other begins?

  • http://www.facebook.com/jess.a.stanard Jess Stanard

    He has to cut the placenta with his teeth to get the baby out? Teenage girls watch this?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/reverendgodless Matt Thomas

    They were warned NOT to disturb Burt during lunch hour.

  • http://www.facebook.com/reverendgodless Matt Thomas

    “What’s the matter? Never seen a grown zombie naked?”

  • http://www.facebook.com/Sick.and.Twisted.Art Dick Starr

    THAT’S Lil’ Kim?!

  • re_bleached

    OH MY GOD! These zombies smell like taco farts….

  • xxxwolf666

    When Ernie said he had a naked girl lying on a table in his embalming room I just assumed she’d be hot.

  • HardRocker

    Two girls one cup? That’s disgusting is that what those freaks will watch in the future?

  • HardRocker

    Jesus Rosie O’Donnell put your clothes back on!

  • Ewpert

    You mean that’s Rose McGowan?! What did you do to her face!?

  • Miikesmama

    Although it was just a mirror, the two couldn’t believe how shiny these guys’ teeth were!

  • Trixxxster

    So that’s what that was. It sure tasted like shrimp to me!

  • davidbleezy

    Too many comments to them watching a shitty movie. Boring.

    • babagloom

      Agreed.

  • davidbleezy

    “Walking in on your parents”

  • davidbleezy

    “She’s got a d*ck!”

  • http://www.facebook.com/ErnieT0770 Ernie Trinidad

    …and suddenly the fish swam up the man’s urethra.

  • filmfan2010

    They did what? The British Olympics won’t have the Old Beckham play, eh? What Absurdity!

  • filmfan2010

    The Miami Face Eater only smoked weed OMG!

  • Bruce Pullen

    Now, now, now…I want Lima beans in my salad not my kidneys.

  • Bruce Pullen

    Manos The Hands of Fate on Blu-Ray?

  • Bruce Pullen

    We came all this way for the Zombie Hokey Pokey?

  • Bruce Pullen

    No. PLEASE. No more Adam Sandler, no more Adam Sandler.

  • Bruce Pullen

    Barney re-runs!

  • Bruce Pullen

    No Chris don’t strip. We loved you in Dracula, but don’t strip!

  • Bruce Pullen

    Keanu Reeves does birthdays? There is no cake. There is no cake.

  • Bruce Pullen

    Liver alone. I know its Lady Gaga. But liver alone.

  • Bruce Pullen

    He’s your mannequin? But Justin Bieber doesn’t work with the drapes.

  • sixxer

    Narrator, “Well my friends, that’s the story of how Freddy got fingered. As for Frank? Well…he dealt with a fisting on that day himself.”

  • HardRocker

    Gross! Zombie cock n balls. And the smell…ehhh!

  • HardRocker

    William Hung is doing a comeback tour, please god no.

  • HardRocker

    I told you we shouldn’t have watched the Oprah sex tape.

  • HardRocker

    Rob Schneider is getting is own sitcom? What the hell were the producers smoking?

  • BornVillian

    Bill and Ted: The Later Years

  • BornVillian

    Guy 1: Uhuhuhuh
    Guy 2: hehemehehe
    Guy 1: uhuhuhu shut up Beavis!

  • BornVillian

    we shriek in your general direction

  • BornVillian

    Bloody Disgusting staff reading Caption Contest quotes.

    • EvanDickson

      HA!

  • Jaws-Boy

    “…Where’s you’re other hand?”
    “Between two pillows…”
    “THOSE AREN’T PILLOWS!”

  • BornVillian

    Two thieves break into BD HQ disgusted at what they find. “Is that this week’s mystery prize?” the older thieve said. “Yeah i think it is…..Is it strange that I’m kinda aroused?”said the younger thieve. “Naw kid I am too.” replied the other.

  • Jaws-Boy

    “…Where’s your other hand…?”
    “Between two pillows…”
    “THOSE AREN’T PILLOWS!!!”

  • babagloom

    Bitter beer face.

  • romanthemysterian

    Quick, Fred! Let’s show ‘em our mad dog faces.

  • babagloom

    “We’re about to die, but don’t worry! My pocket is protected!”

  • babagloom

    “Send more suspenders and pocket protectors.”

  • babagloom

    Ah yes. Gotta love the days before teeth whitening.

  • ghoulybrainz

    but i dont wanna put tarman away!! :(

  • zaglewiz

    They cancelled Shark Week!!!

  • Fetus-in-Fetu

    Dang, we should of never dared each other to take shots of turbo lax

  • portablecontents

    A half-dog erection is, simply put, not pretty…

  • EvanDickson

    Thanks guys! A winner will be posted later this afternoon!

  • Dedneck

    …Two Girls?!? One Cup?!??? That Ernie is one sick sumbitch!!!

  • Dedneck

    My apologies to Lowcarb… didnt realize you used the two girls one cup reference . . . Retract my post.

  • juggalochef2399

    Frank: “Oh god the kids are starting to dress like its the 80′s again!”

    Freddie: “You mean I looked that douchey back then!?”

  • EvanDickson

    Actually – we are trying something new with the caption contest. It’ll be up tomorrow morning

  • AdamLuckey

    “They split the last Twilight book up into two movie?”

    “NOOOOOOOOO!”

  • CrimsoN-SoN

    “The canister’s been opened already so I called the number on the side and they asked what was inside”

    “Well, what was it!?”

    “Bath Salts.”

  • Davin

    You hard? Yeah. Me too.

  • Davin

    I HATE watching people put in contacts!

  • jrockrat

    Tom and Kat are over?? No!!! It can’t be true!!

  • The-Kev-Meister

    Magic Mike??!!

  • The-Kev-Meister

    When they said to “Cut off their heads”, did they mean….My God!!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/jerry.noto Jerry Noto

    Oh shit! Is that Romero?

  • clown74123

    not another hell raiser commercial.

  • clown74123

    i called using the bathroom fir…. nevermind you can go

  • Joush42

    why are we crying? i don’t maybe we should stop watching lassie after the funereal’s.

  • William Berkel

    Diablo Cody!?