Movies
[BD Review] ‘Texas Chainsaw 3D’ Is Batsh*t Dumb But Kind Of Fun
If “dumb fun” can still be considered harmless – because sometimes it feels like we’re fighting for the very survival of cinema and all that – then that’s exactly how I’d peg Texas Chainsaw 3D. It’s not what most people would call a “good movie”, I’m not sure I can even call it that. But I do know that it engaged me, entertained me and made me laugh more than at least 60% of the horror movies I saw last year.
The film, from director John Luessenhop, is a direct sequel to the original 1974 film. There’s been a lot of talk about how this new version maintains the hard tone of that film, eschewing the campiness of the 1986 Tobe Hooper directed sequel. This isn’t exactly true. While it does indeed pick things up just a few hours moments after the ending of the original TCM, it quickly dives headfirst into a broad, bizarre terrain with seemingly no concern for the hyper-realism that shocked audiences almost 40 years ago. While the 1986 sequel was overtly, intentionally and brilliantly absurd, Texas Chainsaw 3D embodies a tonal realm familiar to anyone with an affinity for 70’s grindhouse trailers. Which is to say that engenders an appreciation that’s not quite ironic, but close enough.
No one in this movie is written, or behaves like, a human being. Our protagonist, Heather, is introduced as an infant during the opening raid on the Sawyer compound. In the film’s first severe break with reality, that infant is stolen in the middle of a mass slaughter by a hick who decides kicking a mother to death in order to complete his impromptu adoption falls appropriately under the banner of vigilante justice. We flash forward 20 years to the present day (which should be 1994 but is somehow 2012*) and Heather, played by Alexandra Daddario, is now a young woman. She also works as a butcher and likes to make collages out of chicken bones in her spare time. I suppose it’s here that Texas Chainsaw 3D throws its hat in the “nature vs. nurture” ring.
As you can see, we’re already well outside the aesthetic of the original film. It’s not what we were promised but, then again, it’s not exactly boring. Soon enough Heather discovers she was adopted and has inherited a vast estate in Newt, Texas. She and her friends hit the road, pick up a hitchhiker and head out on a mission to investigate. Once inside the house it doesn’t take long before the carnage starts. None of it is particularly scary, but it sort of flies by in a manner that I’d call “acceptable.” There’s a huge missed opportunity in the film’s carnival scene, which is only about a minute long, but that makes more room for Texas Chainsaw 3D to reveal its master plan. It’s here that the film takes the familial “blood is thicker than water” homily and runs to some truly bizarre (and morally murky) places with it.
If you weren’t a horror fan you wouldn’t be reading this review. While I might recommend that the public at large avoid this film, I have to admit I had a decent time with it and I think you will too provided you’re ok with the following checklist: 1. It’s not scary (the original remake trumps it in that regard). 2. It doesn’t really feel like a Texas Chainsaw movie. 3. It’s really dumb. 4. I read the comments and know a lot of you are looking forward to the carnival scene – don’t. That is not the reason to go.
Think long and hard. If you’re cool with those four points, then you’ll be okay with Texas Chainsaw 3D. And, selfishly, I want this movie to be a hit because there’s no end to the perverse joy I would take in the batsh*t sequel they seem to be setting up.
*I have no idea why this is. Perhaps to make room a FaceTime gag that’s the basis for the film’s best scene?
Judging from the unprecedented box office success of Kane Parsons’ Backrooms adaptation, you’ve likely already seen the liminal horror hit that managed to make audiences afraid of empty hallways and bad wallpaper. And now that so many of us have already entered the yellow labyrinth (some of us more than once), the time has come to discuss the spoiler-filled details that make the movie so fascinating in the first place.
And if there’s one element here that makes the Backrooms movie stand out from any previous lore/mythology, it has to be the genius addition of the Still Life entities. Warped recreations of real people that somehow wandered into the Complex, these misremembered creatures are responsible for some of the most disturbing imagery of 2026 – as well as laugh-out-loud memes created by one of the film’s very own concept artists.
However, true to Parsons’ word that the movie would rely heavily on practical effects, each of these distorted monsters was brought to life by real actors under heavy layers of makeup and prosthetics (with the occasional splash of CGI enhancements). While Anora and If I Had Legs I’d Kick You actress Ivy Wolk wasn’t among these performers, despite what Letterboxd might have you believe, the creature cast did benefit from veteran players with plenty of genre experience.
For starters, Alien: Romulus alumni Robert Bobroczkyi (who previously brought that film’s horrific Offspring to life during its most memorable sequence) plays the flick’s main antagonist, the Still Life version of Captain Clark. And though there was some obvious CGI involved in making the character’s peg-leg and nightmarish face more believable, Bobroczkyi’s monstrous performance and his natural 7’7″ frame helped to make that final chase sequence a clear highlight among this year’s genre offerings.
The film’s Texas-Chain-Saw-inspired “dinner” scene also features a freaky collection of less-aggressive Still Life creatures in the form of the Bearded Man, the Red-Headed Woman and, strangest of them all, the cheekily named “Archibald Leland Sutter Still Life” (who earned this title among fans and crewmembers as a reference to his apparent affinity for lamps).
While this was the first major horror outing for both Patrick Baynham (The Bearded Man) and Dana Mahmood (Archibald), Rhiannon Roberts has worked as a stunt performer in everything from Yellowjackets to HBO’s The Last of Us adaptation – which is probably why The Red-Headed Woman is the most active out of Clark’s impromptu “family.” That being said, the Archibald Leland Sutter Still Life is my personal favorite of the bunch simply because his anachronistic outfit suggests that the Backrooms phenomenon might be a lot older than the Async Foundation. I also love how hard he tries to be helpful with that little light of his!
That might be it for the Still Life entities, but I think horror fans will also be pleased to hear that the film’s Found Footage prologue stars none other than Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City star Avan Jogia as Naren Warne – and American Mary herself Katharine Isabelle also shows up in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo at Mary’s house party towards the middle of the story (though I have a feeling that she originally had a bigger part that was likely cut for time).
At the end of the day, Parsons’ Backrooms may have been an auteur-driven project motivated by the young director’s unique take on the classic creepypasta, but film has always been a collective artform, so it’s fun to see just how many talented performers it takes to bring this kind of supernatural nightmare to life in a way that connects with so many people.
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